


Don't Let Me Be Gone

by spookyonepilots



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: (I can't write Smut for my life), (I promise there's a relationship), Eventual relationship, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Joshler fic, High School, Implied Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-12 02:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 52,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7916077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyonepilots/pseuds/spookyonepilots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The Incident" turns Tyler Joseph into the most despised and disgusted kid in school. And he's just counting down the days until he's out of there, after all there's not much to look forward to when all your friends have abandoned you and left you with the inner demon haunting your mind and thoughts.<br/>All of that changes when a mysterious boy with bright red hair walks into the office.<br/>After that nothing is ever the same again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Don't Know My Brain the Way You Know My Name

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!  
> So this is going to be a long fluffy Joshler fic. I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope you all enjoy it!  
> The first chapter of the fic is very short and is just setting the background for the fic. I promise they do meet each other and very soon and it does get happier. This chapter basically just sets the scene and introduces you to the character and lets you know what is going on. Since this is such a short chapter I will be posting the second chapter today.  
> Please let me know what you all think, all comments, kudos, and feedback is greatly encouraged and appreciated  
> Thank you to BringMeThePhan for letting me use some ideas from your story, it really inspired me to write this fic!  
> Also thank you to my friend Fredy for helping me come up with an idea for the ending.  
> And thank you to everyone who read this fic beforehand and helped me edit it. I really appreciate it!  
> I will be posting the trigger warnings for each individual chapter in the beginning notes.  
> This chapter's trigger warnings:  
> -Self-Harm  
> -Blood  
> -Depression  
> -Suicidal Thoughts  
> Stay safe everyone

I sit in my room.

Alone.

And for the third time tonight I hold the blade in my hand and make shallow cuts on the flesh of my wrist. Watching as the blood seeps out of the new holes I’ve created.

Night is always the worst for me. It’s when  _ HE _ is most active. And when His presence is the hardest to be ignored.

He has been showing up more often these days, Blurry, that’s what I like to call Him. He’s even been coming during the day. Standing beside me telling me how I’m not good enough, and confirming my worst thoughts. Following me through the halls at school and filling my head with His evil words.

It used to be easier to ignore Him, but these days his messages keep seeping through and making me feel worse and more alone. The loneliness cutting through my chest like the blade I now hold in my hands.

I have friends, but recently they’ve become more and more distant.

Especially since the incident…

I’ve always been really good at hiding the scars that are left on my arms after nights like these. I’m careful to always wear long sleeves or my favorite black hoodie and to never change in front of people. But one day Coach Urie made the guys play a game of shirts vs skins basketball and despite my best efforts, he would not let me switch teams. I was forced to be on the skins.

That day I had a lot of scars, Blurry was very active the night before, and everyone in class saw them. Including all my friends. I could feel everyone staring at me and whispering. Coach sent me to the office and they called my parents down to the school.

It was the worst day of my life.

I’ve never seen my parents more upset. I promised them that it was just a onetime thing and it would never happen again. I didn’t want them to be more upset than they already were. They believed me but the school, not so much. The Principal now makes me come eat lunch with her in her office everyday so we can talk and she can check on how I’m doing. My parents were hesitant at first but they agreed with the principal that it’s for the best.

I couldn’t speak. It felt like my chest was closing in on itself and my palms were getting all sweaty. I wanted to tell them how awful that idea was and that I’m fine, but the words wouldn’t come.

So now I’m stuck going to Ms. Ashley’s office every day for lunch and talking about my life. It is torture. Ms. Ashley is a very nice person but having someone constantly ask how you’re doing while looking down at you with pity is the worst thing ever. I’m not one to like to talk about my feelings or about myself on a good day, and having someone constantly asking me to, is awful. I try to convince her that I’m okay, oftentimes making up stories about what goes on during the day. Some days she even asks to see my arms; I’ve been clever now in putting the cuts in places she isn’t able to see when we have these awful sessions.

At least it’s almost over. I’m a Senior and only have five more months before I’m out of this place and never have to return. I can start over and be free.

**_“If you make it that long,”_ ** His deep grating voice whispers from across the room. Those words swirl around in my mind filling my heart with sadness.

I try and push that thought aside. I put the blade down. I’m finished for the night. The clock in my room says 1:01. I get up and go to my bathroom attached to my room and I get ready for bed.

School tomorrow. Another awful and lonely day at Ridgewood High.

I take off my shirt and pants and put on my favorite black tank top. I like to sleep in boxers and a tank top. It’s the only time I enjoy wearing barely any clothes because I don’t have to worry about covering my arms from people’s judgmental stares.

I turn off the lights, lie in bed, and try to drift to sleep. It’s getting harder to fall asleep these days as my mind swirls with all of Blurry’s words. Blurry paces back and forth at the end of my bed. His bright red eyes glowing as He watches me.

“Leave Blurry you’re done for the night. I need sleep.” Most of the time that works to make Him leave. But not tonight. Of course not. I’ve had barely any sleep this past week and the bags under my eyes are proof.

**_“What’s the point anymore…you have no one at school. Your parents barely look at you since the incident. Isn’t it time?”_ **

“Blurry, enough! Get out of here, it’s not time yet,” I furiously whisper back. Meanwhile He’s right. My friends are super distant and my parents can’t even stand to look at me too long. It brings back the pain I brought them that day and they just get very sad. I hate seeing my parents upset. I try to show them that I’m doing okay, and that helps them but it’s not the same.

Blurry disappeared and I can finally drift off to sleep. I look over at the clock, 2:30.

_ Oh great another tired day at school.  _


	2. I'm Twisted Up Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything begins to change when the boy with red hair enters the office.  
> Friendships form and secrets are tested.  
> The truth will come out eventually. It always finds a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this fic in March and reading this chapter and the last few chapters over I can tell how much my writing has improved and changed. It makes me cringe seeing how bad my writing was when I started this. But regardless I hope you all like it and I promise it really does get better.  
> Also the bolded writing is Blurry and the italicized is Tyler's thoughts  
> This chapter's warnings:  
> -Blurry's judgmental words  
> Blurry makes an appearance often in the story, but I think that's all the warnings for this chapter

The morning was kind of slow. Blurry showed up for a few minutes but left as quickly as He came. My friends didn’t even look at me this morning; their disgust clear as they walked the other way from me in the halls.

It is 12:00 now, time to go to another lovely meeting with Ms. Ashley. I walk to the office and see her door closed.

_ Probably another delinquent got in trouble. _

I go to sit down in my spot on the bench outside her office when I see someone else there.

_ That’s strange she usually doesn’t have two meetings during my lunch. _

I sit down next to a guy I’ve definitely never seen before. He has bright red hair, a nose ring, and I can see the beginnings of a tattoo peeking out from under his jacket. There’s something about him. Something dark but captivating. I find myself staring as I sit down next to him.

“What are you in for?” He asks as he looks over at me. His eyes full of curiosity, but his voice trying to give off a laid-back, indifferent tone.

I don’t know what to say. I don’t know why I care so much, I’ve never met him, but yet there’s something about him that makes me not want to make a bad first impression.

_ Should I tell him that I have lunch here every day? Will he think that’s weird? Should I make something up? I have to respond he’s waiting. _

“I-” I say, we were then interrupted by Ms. Ashley’s door opening and I have never been more grateful.

“Now get back to class,” she screams at the boy as he runs out the office. She then turns and looks at us.

“Ah Tyler, I see you’ve met our new student. This is Josh, he will be finishing off his Senior Year here with us.”

_ Josh, so that’s his name. Wait…new transfer student? He looks like he could be in college. _

“Now Tyler, I want you to take Josh around the school for the rest of the week and make sure he feels welcome. You both have the same schedule so it won’t be that hard. And while you show Josh around for the week, you don’t have to come here for lunch anymore.”

_ Oh great, now he knows I eat lunch here. _

Josh looks over at me and gives a half smile and a knowing look. That smile makes my stomach do something strange. I’ve never seen a more beautiful smile. And his look shows that he understands why I didn’t finish my statement before. But his stare also shows that I’m going to have to explain it later.

_ Great… _

Josh and I get up and walk out of the office and head for the cafeteria. My stomach is clenched and suddenly I don’t feel like eating anymore. I can feel Josh staring at me and I can only imagine the questions that are brewing in his mind. As much as I want to know a few things about him, I’m dreading him asking questions about me. That’s a road I don’t want to go down.

We walk through the cafeteria door and into the Senior Lunch Room. As soon as we walk in all eyes are towards us and conversations begin to die off.

_ No, no, no. Don’t look at me please no. _

**_They’re all staring at you. They were all talking about you, that’s why the conversations stopped. You’re the talk of the grade, and not in a good way. They know about your lunch dates and your scars. They know about you Tyler._ **

Of course Blurry picked that moment to appear. I can feel Josh staring bullets into me and for some reason his stare outweighs all the stares in the room.

I clench my fists and walk quickly over to an empty lunch table by the window hoping to get away from everyone’s judgmental stares.

**_Don’t trip Tyler. Don’t make a fool of yourself more than you already have._ **

_ SHUT UP BLURRY! _

I can feel my face heating up. Finally we get to the table and sit down. Josh is right behind me and as soon as we sit down the conversations erupt again. I sigh and try to relax in my seat.

“Okay what was that all about? Does that always happen?” Josh asks as he takes out his lunch.

_ Great, no way to avoid this conversation. _

“No…well I don’t know, I don’t really like to come in here much.” I say hoping he will drop the conversation.

“Oh is it because you eat lunch in the office? Dude what is that all about?” He asks, curiosity lacing his voice.

“It’s against my own will.” I say trying to keep it vague hoping he’ll get the hint and drop it.

But he doesn’t.

“What did you do, fight someone? Is that why they all stared? Are they afraid of you?!” He asks excitement starting to rise in his voice.

**_You in a fight, ha! They’d need an ambulance to carry you off because you’d get beaten so badly_ **

“Stop!” I whisper furiously, not meaning to say it out loud.

“What? Stop what, what did I do?” Josh asks, confused

“Huh, oh nothing. No I didn’t get into a fight with someone...” I let my voice trail off.

_ Unless that someone is Blurry in which case then yes, I did get into a fight. _

**_You didn’t fight me, we both know you’d be nothing without me. You need me Tyler._ **

I take out my notebook and start to write. I can tell Josh has noticed that this topic is making me uncomfortable and is going to drop it. For that I’m grateful.

_ Thank gosh, I don’t want to keep talking about this. Why did Ms. Ashley make me do this? Now I’m going to have to talk to him all day, and sooner or later he’s going to find out about the incident. _

**_He will find out and he’ll probably get disgusted and leave you like all the others._ **

“What’re you writing?” Josh asks trying to make it look like he’s not dying of curiosity

_ Wow for someone who puts off a dark uncaring exterior, he is really curious about things _

“Huh? Just writing some things.”

“Like to vent and stuff?”

“Yeah like that. It helps me out.”

“That’s cool man.” And luckily before he can say anything else the bell rings.

“We have Physics next. I think you’ll like that class. We have a lab today so you won’t have to sit through a lecture during your first class here.” I say as we get up and walk to the next class.

I can hear people whispering about us as we walk by.

I turn to look at Josh who is currently telling some people that they are number one. I smile as we make our way to class. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you all think  
> I'm going to post the next chapter tomorrow because these beginning chapters are so short  
> Thank you for reading.


	3. I Want to Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets are shared, but are they really the truth?  
> Friendships will be formed and tested as rumors try and tear them down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I posted this update really quickly but I'm just really excited to post the chapters.  
> Depending on how long this one is maybe I'll post another one later today, I just want to get the main story plot started  
> This chapter is told from Josh's point of view. From now on the chapters will switch between Tyler and Josh's perspective, but I'll tell you whose it is before the chapter starts.  
> Without further ado here is the mind of Josh

**Josh’s Point of View**

People keep staring at us and whispering and it’s really pissing me off. I can tell it makes Tyler uncomfortable, I just wish I knew why they did it. Tyler seems like a really nice guy, so I don’t understand why they have to give him a hard time.

I heard a few people whisper Tyler’s name and I had enough. I started flipping people off. It’s not the first impression I wanted at this school, but they shouldn’t treat Tyler like that.

I don’t know why I care so much, but there’s something about him that makes me want to protect him and find out more about him. He’s curious to say the least and I can tell his eyes hold so much pain.

I look over at Tyler and see him smiling as I flip people off.

_ Wow he has a really cute smile.  _ I think as my stomach gets little flutters.

We finally make it out of the cafeteria and the harsh whispers. I walk next to Tyler as we go through unfamiliar hallways into what I think is the science wing.

I wish I could find out more about him, but something is telling me not to push too hard to find out.

We walk into the huge lab room and to the teacher’s desk.

Mr. Stump is written on the bulletin board so I guess that’s his name.

“Ah Tyler I see we have a new student! You came on a good day, son, we’re doing a fun lab today!”

“Hi, I’m Josh, nice to meet you,” I say as I shake his outstretched hand.

“Hi Josh, I’m Mr. Stump. Welcome to Advanced Physics. You and Tyler will be lab partners.”

The bell rings and we walk to Tyler’s lab table. I guess Tyler didn’t have a lab partner because it doesn’t seem like I’m taking someone’s spot.

I look around the room. Everyone is in pairs of two except for the table across the room is a table of three.

_ I guess that must be Tyler’s old lab partner…what happened with this guy? _

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I decided not to ask Tyler about his lack of lab partner and just focus on the lab.

After the lab, which I have to admit was pretty fun (even Tyler thought so as his face lit up often and he kept smiling) we began to pack up our things.

I could tell Tyler was a bit uneasy as we left the classroom but didn’t seem like he was going to stop and give me an answer, so we just walked.

We walked for a while to the other side of the school.

“Hey, how would you feel about skipping class? We have gym now and honestly it’s probably just going to be like lunch. Plus I think they’re playing shirts vs skins today” Tyler said weakly, pain lacing his voice.

I wasn’t going to argue with him, not when his voice sounded like that and he looked so pale. Plus not having to exercise is perfectly fine by me.

“Sure. Where do you want to go then?”

“I know a good spot behind the bleachers. No one is ever there and they can’t see you from the field so we won’t get caught.”

We walked in silence to the bleachers and quickly slipped behind them. Tyler’s right, no one comes back here and the only thing here is a small bag hidden near the bottom of the stairs.

Tyler goes and grabs the bag.

“You want a RedBull? It’s a little warm but the breeze from under the bleachers keeps it fresh.”

“Yeah, they’re my favorite, thanks.” I say as he hands me a drink.

“They’re my favorite too.” He says as he opens his can.

_ How often does he come down here? He has drinks down here and everything. Something bad must have happened and this must be where he goes to escape. _

We sit down and lean against the poles supporting the bleachers, facing each other. We don’t speak for a few minutes as we enjoy the RedBull. The drink is so fresh and it tastes so good on this muggy day.

There’s so much I want to ask Tyler, first being why everyone gives him a hard time. But before I can say anything he puts his can down.

“So can I ask you some questions, since you asked me some at lunch?” He asks as he pulls down on the sleeves of his hoodie.

“Sure, ask away.”

“Where did you move from, and why did you move in Senior Year?” He’s starting with basic questions.

“I moved from LA after my dad got transferred here. He works for some retail company so he moves a lot.” I say as I take another sip from my drink. “Okay, my turn. Did I take your lab partner’s spot today in Physics?”

He shifted against the pole and I could tell I may have asked too personal a question. But I have to know, the curiosity and concern is eating me up inside.

I’ve always been a curious person, and often in my life it has brought me more trouble than good, but I can’t help it. And there’s something with Tyler that makes me even more curious. For some reason I want to know every single thing about him.

“No you didn’t take someone’s spot.” He said cautiously. “He switched partners a month ago because he wanted to be closer to his girlfriend…” He trailed off and I can tell he’s lying to me. Whatever it is must be pretty bad that he doesn’t want to talk about it. “Okay my turn again. Why do you dye your hair red and what’s up with the tattoo on your arm?” He asks glancing at my jacket that is covering my tattoo.

_ How did he see my tattoo? I’m so careful to hide it from sight. _

“Okay, I think we’re done with questions for now,” I say as I pull down on my sleeve.

We sit there in silence for a few minutes and then we began talking about things we like and we realized we both pretty much like the exact same things. We both love Taco Bell, RedBull, Video Games, and many other things. We started telling stories about them and the time just flew by.

We both talked and didn't stop. It felt good to be able to talk to someone like that. I haven’t had a friend who I had a lot in common with in a very long time. The conversation flowed so naturally between us. I can tell Tyler is feeling better because throughout the whole conversation his face was lit up and he smiled his adorable smile at me.

We were shocked out of our conversation when we heard the distant bell ringing signaling that school was over. Gym is apparently a double period and so was lab so we were done for the day.

“Come on, let’s get back to the building, I have to go back to my locker,” Tyler says as we get up and throw our cans away in the garbage.

We walk back to the school, our faces both bright from realizing we have so much in common with each other.

As we near Tyler’s locker, I start to get separated from him by the huge swarm of people trying to get to their lockers. I try to find Tyler but he’s lost in a sea of people.

All of a sudden I hear someone say “Hey new kid!” and I know they’re talking to me.

I turn around and see three guys and a girl leaning against a locker. They wave me over.

“Hey new kid, we wanted to welcome you to Ridgewood High. I’m Lucas. This is Patty, Mark, and Logan.” The three others smiled and waved at me.

“I’m Josh.” I say doing the only thing I know how to do when I meet someone new: put my guard up.

“We saw you hanging out with Tyler and we want to give you some advice. Stay away from him dude.” Lucas says.

“Yeah stay away from him, man. That kid is trouble,” says Logan.

“What are you guys talking about, he seems pretty chill.” I say, confused and my curiosity rising. I try and hide my curiosity as best I can.

“You don’t know the story do you?”

I give them a puzzled look.

“I’ll take that as a no then,” says Mark. “Have you seen his arms yet?”

“No.” I say and just as Mark was about to say more they all looked behind my shoulder and quickly turned and walked away.

I turn around and see the faint figure of Tyler running off down the hallway and out the building.

_ Oh man. What is going on? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave any comments/feedback/suggestions and kudos  
> I think I'm going to post the chapters every day instead of every other day  
> I want to thank Fredy again for the constant support of this fic, it means a lot my fren  
> 


	4. I'm A Goner, Somebody Catch My Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Tyler deal with knowing his old "friends" talked to Josh  
> Will Josh make it there in time to know the truth?  
> Find out now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading this fic and leaving such nice comments, I've been working on this fic for a long time and I'm really excited to share it with all of you  
> There are a few trigger warnings for this chapter:  
> -Self-harm  
> -Suicide attempt  
> -Blurry (doing what he does best which is being an ass)  
> Please stay safe everyone

**Tyler’s Point of View**

I arrive at my locker and begin switching out my books. Once I’m done I realize that I lost Josh.

_ Oh no where did he go? _

I slam my locker closed and start walking back the way we came.

_ He probably just got lost in the crowd of people. It’s fine. _

**_See you’ve already lost him. I’m the only one in your life Tyler. Everyone else will leave you except me. You need me._ **

I ignore Blurry as I walk to find Josh, pushing through the sea of people trying to leave the building.

Finally I see him and my heart stops.

He’s talking to some of my old friends

_ Oh no, oh no. What are they talking to him about? _

**_They’re telling him all about how messed up you are and how awful you are. He’s going to leave you. You just lost him. They’re turning him against you right now._ **

My chest starts constricting and I can feel my eyes begin to water as I turn and run out the building. 

I finally made a friend that I have a lot in common with and I lost him already.

I run home as fast as I can, which isn’t hard considering I live walking distance from the school. 

I run inside and up to my room. And I break down in tears.

**_It’s over. All your chances of having someone in your life are gone. You finally met someone who has something in common with you and he’s gone. You have no one in your life now. It’s time Tyler. It’s time to end it all._ **

Tears streaming down my face and Blurry’s words spinning in my head, I grab the blade I placed in my bathroom after last night.

The blood pooling out of my wrist reminds me of the waterfall my family and I went to when I was a kid. I watch as the blood pours out of me and my vision begins to darken.

All of a sudden everything goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be posting one more chapter tonight since this one was so short  
> Plus I don't want to leave you on this cliff hanger for /too/ long  
> Please let me know what you think  
> Also remember the last few lines...something in there may come back later on...if you think you know what it is comment...


	5. Friend, Please Don't Take Your Life Away From Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Josh make it to Tyler in time?  
> And will his curiosity be the thing that saves them all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm not really sure what to write in these  
> As promised here is the next chapter  
> Chapter warnings:  
> -mentions of blood  
> -hospital

**Josh’s Point of View**

I run out after Tyler, but he’s too fast and too far ahead.

I keep running and running until I lose him down one of the blocks. I don’t know what those kids meant or why they freaked out Tyler so much, but one thing I know for certain is I trust Tyler.

I’m not sure what happened to make everyone cautious of Tyler, but I can tell he’s a good guy and I’m not going to change my opinion of him just because someone told me to without a reason.

I know one thing: I am making things right with Tyler tonight. I don’t want him to think I listened to anything those rude guys said without hearing his side of things first.

I take out my cell phone and pull up his number that he gave me when we were under the bleachers.

I text him: “Hey Tyler, we need to talk. Want to meet at my house?”

I wait…no response.

I try again: “Dude I promise I don’t believe what those guys told me until I hear both sides.”

Nothing. Five minutes pass and still nothing. This is getting ridiculous.

I try calling him.

It sends me right to voicemail.

_ He must have his phone off.  _ _I need to talk to him about this._ I don’t want to wait until tomorrow to sort this out, I’m too curious to wait.

I see someone that I vaguely recognize from the hallways today at school. I walk over to him.

“Hey, do you know where Tyler Joseph lives by chance?”

“Hey yeah, go down this block, make a left, then make a right and go down to house 15.”

_ Tyler lives diagonal from me. How funny _

“Thanks man.”

“Sure thing, but hey if I were you, I would stay away from that kid. You don’t want to get involved with him.”

_ Another person who said that.  _

I don’t have time to ask him about it. My curiosity is too strong to know Tyler’s side of the story.

I take off down the street and start heading to the block Tyler and I both live on.

I reach Tyler’s house and knock on the door. 

I figure I might as well just go for it because I need to know what’s going on.

No response. I look around. There’s no cars in the driveway or in front of the house.

I bang on the door again.

“Come on Tyler I know you’re in there.” No response.

Now I’m really getting annoyed. I try and open the door and find it unlocked.

_ Hmm well that’s weird. I guess that means Tyler is home then. I might as well just go in.  _

I’m not giving up on the first person I’ve met in a long time that I genuinely have things in common with.

I walk inside and see only one light on coming out from the half closed door at the top of the stairs. I walk up the stairs.

“Hey Tyler, are you up there?” I call out.

Still no response. I get to the door and push it the rest of the way open.

I see Tyler on the floor surrounded by a pool of blood.

“Oh Sh-” I run over to him. “Tyler!”

I feel his neck and find that he still has a pulse, it’s weak but at least it’s something.

I grab a shirt lying on the floor and tie it tightly around the source I think the bleeding is coming from, his wrist. I then pick him up, carry him downstairs, and call 911.

The ambulance comes in minutes and I go with Tyler in the ambulance to the hospital.

I call my mom once we get there and she says she'll be here in a few minutes.

The doctors take him into the Emergency Room and tell me to wait out in the lobby.

My mom runs in, panic stricken. “Oh Joshie! I was so worried. Is everything okay? Where’s your friend?” She says as she gives me a tight hug.

“They took him into the back and they told me to wait out here. Apparently he has a lot of blood loss and they have to keep him overnight.”

“Oh baby, I’m so sorry. It’s a good thing you were there to find him, you saved his life today. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks mom…” we then sat down in the waiting chairs and I told her everything; all about how everyone in school gives Tyler a hard time and everything I had observed about him throughout the day.

Me and my mom are very close, despite the dark persona I try to make everyone believe I have, I really am a huge momma’s boy and we talk about everything.

She listens to me talk about what happened and never interrupts until I’m done. I always appreciate when she does that.

“Sweetie. It seems like something happened and it’s hard for Tyler to talk about, but I think it’s great that you two have so much in common and should become friends. And as friends I think he will tell you about it when he’s ready, and as his friend you should wait until he’s ready to tell you and be there with open ears when he does, despite how curious you might get.”

“You’re right, I’m just worried about him. I mean you should have seen those kids today and how he looked when they talked about him.”

“You have to give him some time. It’s got to be hard for him to talk about, especially now after this. But I believe he will tell you about it because you’re a very sweet caring soul despite the pierced dyed look you have going,” she says chuckling. I laugh with her.

“Yeah I guess. Thanks mom, you always know what to say.” We hug each other.

“Did you call his parents and tell them what happened?”

“...No not yet. I wasn’t sure what to tell them, and I don’t have his house number.”

“Maybe we can go tell them together. They’re going to need to know where their son is.”

“Yeah you’re right…let’s go ask the doctor how he’s doing first.”

We walk over to the doctor and ask him how Tyler is. The doctor tells me that he’s doing okay and they are currently giving him blood to try and make up for the large amounts of blood he lost. He also says Tyler hasn’t woken up yet, but is stable and should soon.

After talking to the doctor, we drive to Tyler’s house.

When we get there, my mom and I walk up to the house and I knock on the door.

A short woman with blonde hair opens the door, Tyler’s mother.

“Hi, Mrs. Joseph?” The woman nods. “I’m Josh, I’m friends with Tyler.”

The woman lights up. “Oh Tyler made a new friend! Come in, come in.” She motions us to sit down on the couch.

The house looks so much different in the light; homier.

“Thank you, this is my mom.” I say as we sit down.

My mom shakes Tyler’s mom’s hand.

“I’m so happy that Tyler has made a new friend. He’s been very…down these past few weeks. Where is Tyler? I didn’t see him when I came home.”

“Um… that’s what we wanted to talk to you about.” I say trying to come up with the best way to say it. My mom puts her hand on my shoulder for support.

“Tyler…is in the hospital. He got hurt really badly and I called the ambulance. The doctor said he’s doing well but they have to keep him overnight because he lost so much blood…” I say, my voice trailing off. I didn’t want to tell her that Tyler did it to himself.

The light went out of her face so quickly, I have never seen someone get so sad.

“No. No. No. What happened? Did he do it to himself? He promised he was okay.” She says whispering frantically and I can’t tell if she is talking to me or herself. She starts crying; tears streaming down her face.

Thankfully my mom chimed in. “He just got hurt, but the location of the wound caused there to be a lot of blood loss. I wasn’t there but Josh called me when he got to the hospital and I was able to speak to the doctor. He’s going to be fine.” My mom said in the sweet caring voice she always has when she is trying to comfort someone.

“Thank you Josh for calling the ambulance and thank you both for being there. I’m going to go to the hospital to see him.” She says as she starts getting up. She’s still crying but it’s lessening.

“He’s at Mercy General in the Emergency Ward.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See little Tyjo is going to be okay  
> I don't know if you all notice, but the chapter titles give you a little glimpse of what will happen...I didn’t spend like 4 hours one day just trying to pair specific lyrics with the chapters pshh nah  
> Please let me know what you think


	6. Remember The Morning is When Night is Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Tyler wakes up in the hospital he discovers a truth that will alter things forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I have literally no self-restraint when it comes to 2 things: buying TØP Merch and posting these chapters. But I mean all the chapters are done already so why not post them  
> I'll try and stick to some kind of posting schedule once the main plot starts and it's less sad, but for now enjoy my random excessive posting.  
> Chapter Warnings:  
> -Blurry  
> -Hospitals  
> -Mention of blood

**Tyler’s Point of View**

I wake up in the hospital with a blood bag in one arm and a huge bandage on the other.

_ How did I end up here? What happened? _

**_You couldn’t even kill yourself right. You can’t do anything right, you can’t even die correctly. You’re worthless._ **

And as He says that everything comes rushing back; the blade, the huge cut I made, the blood pouring out around me, and Josh.

_ Josh. They got to him. They probably turned him against me too. Now I lost him too. _

**_That’s right Tyler you lost him too. And look over there at your mother. She’s devastated. Bet she’s the one who found you. She probably won’t even look at you now. You’ve lost everyone, especially Josh._ **

When Blurry says Josh’s name I want to scream.

_ Why did those guys have to talk to Josh? I finally made a real friend and they had to ruin it for me. _

I groan and turn over on my side. I guess I groaned loudly because my mom woke up and ran over to the side of the bed.

“Oh Tyler honey, I was so worried, are you okay?” She said and I can see stains from tears on her cheeks.

“Yeah mom, I’m okay.”

“I’m so glad. I met your new friend Josh today, he’s such a sweet boy. He was the one who called the ambulance when you fell.”

_ JOSH FOUND ME?? Oh no. Wait…when I fell? He didn’t tell my mom what happened? _

“He did?” I say sounding as shocked as I am.

I can’t believe Josh found me, I’m so embarrassed.

_ But wait…if Josh found me that means two things. One, he somehow got into my house, which is weird since I didn’t tell him where I lived. And two, I didn’t lose him! Maybe those guys really didn’t tell him anything and I didn’t lose him, I still have a friend! _

“Yes,” my mom says snapping me back to the present. “He said he called the ambulance and rode with you here, and then he and his mom came to see me to tell me you were okay. Such a sweet kid, even if he does look a little scary with the piercing and red hair.” She chuckles.

I haven’t heard my mom laugh in a while and so I laugh with her, enjoying this moment together.

I can feel things starting to get back to normal between us.

Weird how me almost dying brings us back to being as close as we were before this whole mess started.

The doctor walks in and asks how I’m doing. He says I can leave in about an hour after I finish my last blood bag.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time I leave the hospital it is 11:30 AM, too late to go to school, and I don’t think I’m up for that right now anyway. 

I’m not up to having people stare at me and whisper about me especially since I have this huge bandage on my arm. Plus I’m way too tired and weak to even pay attention in class.

So my mom lets me stay home. 

She was worried about leaving me alone today and offered (well practically insisted) she stay with me but I remembered that it’s Tuesday and she always has a very important meeting on Tuesday with the heads of the company. So I insisted that I'll be okay on my own and that I’m just going to sleep and watch TV, which is exactly what I plan on doing.

My mom helps me up the stairs and into bed. 

The blood is all gone from my room, I’m assuming it was Josh’s doing, and my blade is gone too, not that I even want to use it today.

My mom puts a few RedBulls next to the bed and a bag of chips in case I get hungry.

Turns out almost dying makes a person really tired because before I knew it I was fast asleep in the best sleep I’ve had in months. 

There were no nightmares, no Blurry, nothing. Just a peaceful sleep with peaceful dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seeing these chapters posted I realize now how short they actually are. So I guess it's good that I've been posting so many in a day.  
> The good news for all of you is that there are a lot of chapters and we're about to get started with what you all came here for: FLUFF! (Don't worry it gets super fluffy and it's great)


	7. My Friends And I We've Got A Lot of Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Josh handle going to his new school without Tyler?  
> And will he stick up for Tyler when it matters the most?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just woke up and thought what better way to start the day then post another chapter, so here it is  
> Chapter warnings:  
> -Bullying  
> -Mentions of blood

**Josh’s Point of View**

I don’t want to go to school today. It just doesn’t feel right knowing that the only friend I’ve made at this new school isn’t going to be there. At least he’ll be alright.

_ If I had gotten there five minutes later he wouldn’t ever be going to school again. _ I think as I walk past his house on the way to school.

His mom is still at the hospital and he hasn’t woken up yet. Mrs. Joseph said that she would let my mom know when Tyler was home and awake, and my mom said she’d tell me right away.

I’m so exhausted. I was up late last night worrying about whether or not Tyler would be okay and blaming myself that I should have gotten there sooner.

As I walk into first period after struggling to find the room on my own, I notice everybody staring at me.

_ I guess they remember that I flipped most of them off yesterday at lunch. Probably not the smartest thing to do in hindsight, but still totally worth it. _

I sit down in the empty desk the teacher told me to sit in. I check my phone, still nothing. 

This is going to be a long day.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's 12:00 and I check my phone before attempting to find the cafeteria. I see three messages from...mom!

I click on them: “Tyler’s awake they’re releasing him in an hour.” “He’s home but won’t be in school today.” “He’s resting for the day, but he’ll be in school tomorrow. He’s going to be fine!”

I sigh of relief as I look at the messages and feel a warm sensation in my chest.

_ He’s okay, he’s awake. I didn’t make it there too late, he’s going to live! _

I’m so happy that Tyler is going to be okay, but does he know that I found him? Is that going to make things awkward?

I start worrying about that as I wander through the halls and accidentally bump into Mr. Stump.

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” I say as I pick up the papers he dropped.

“Oh Josh, it’s okay we all get lost in our own world from time to time.” I hand him the papers.

“That was a really fun lab yesterday, glad I started school yesterday and not today,” I say and chuckle.

“Good I’m glad you liked it, that one is always my favorite,” he says, his face lighting up with pride and happiness. “How are you liking Ridgewood High? Isn’t Tyler supposed to be showing you around? Where is he?”

“Yes I am liking it here a lot sir. And yes Tyler is supposed to be showing me around but he’s really sick and couldn’t make it in today.” I say and I notice other people around focus their attention on us to try and listen once they heard Tyler’s name. I try to scowl at them without Mr. Stump seeing.

“Do you have anybody to eat lunch with today since Tyler isn’t here? I have a free period now and you are more than welcome to eat lunch with me.” His question caught me off guard. I was so worried about Tyler being okay that I never thought about what I was going to do during lunch.

“Actually I haven’t met anybody yet. Thank you sir, I would really appreciate it.”

We walk to his classroom and eat lunch together. It was actually a really fun lunch. You’d think eating lunch with a teacher would be awful, but it was actually pretty great; he’s a pretty cool guy.  

He asked me a lot about my old school and we talked about some Physics things and sports. He started telling me some stories about when he was in college, and I have to admit they were pretty funny.

The time flew by and we were both shocked when the bell rang.

“Thank you for letting me eat lunch with you sir.” I say appreciatively.

“My pleasure. You can come eat lunch here whenever you’d like!” Mr. Stump said, beaming.

Luckily, I have Physics after lunch, so I don’t have to struggle to find the room like I have been all day. I throw the remainder of my lunch away and sit down in my seat. 

The seats in the room are lab tables and I look longingly at Tyler’s empty seat next to me.

As people begin filling in their seats, I hear whispers and see people staring at me.

_ I hate when people stare at me. Why can’t they just mind their own business? If they have something to say they should just say it. _

I’m getting angrier with each stare and I can feel my cheeks getting bright red from anger. I try and cool myself down before I accidentally snap on someone.

The bell rings and saves me from doing something I’ll regret.

I stop worrying about others around me and calm down as I listen to Mr. Stump give a lecture.

_ Man I miss Tyler. _

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next two periods fly by and I look down at my schedule and see I have gym now.

I sigh as I remember how far away the gym is from the rest of the classrooms. I begin to walk towards the other side of the school when I remember that I didn’t go to gym yesterday.

_ Shoot, the teacher is going to know I wasn’t there yesterday. I’m going to have to come up with some excuse as to why I ditched. _

I finally make it to the gym and change into the uniform the school gave me. I opted for the long sleeved shirt to hide my tattoo.

I follow the rest of the guys out onto the field and the teacher doesn’t even give me a second glance.

I stand behind a group of guys trying not to draw attention to myself, but of course that’s hard when you’re 5’10”, have bright red hair, and are the new kid in school.

A few people introduce themselves to me and start up a small awkward conversation. The conversation ends pretty much as quickly as it began and I once again stand awkwardly by myself.

_ Tyler was right, gym is pretty awkward. I can see why he wanted to ditch yesterday. _

And as if me thinking his name made everyone else think about him, I hear a group of people near me start to talk about him.

I listen in, my curiosity once again getting the better of me.

“Did you guys hear, Tyler’s not in school today,” one of the guys say.

“Yeah I heard he’s ‘sick’ in the hospital” a second guy says making air quotes.

“I bet that loser finally did it. He finally killed himself,” another guy says.

When he said that I lost it. I was so mad I thought there was steam coming out of my ears.

I turn and look at them and punch the guy who said it in the face. Right in the nose. There was blood gushing out of his nose and my hand was starting to bruise.

“Don’t you dare talk about Tyler like that,” I say holding my fist and seething with anger.

If the coach didn’t see me before, he most certainly did now. He comes over, grabs me by the back of my shirt and drags me off the field.

“What the hell were you doing, punching a kid in the face, your old school may have tolerated it but we do not here.” I slip out of his grasp and turn to face him.

“That kid was making fun of Tyler!” I say still seething.

I see his expression soften a little bit, but not enough to make him less angry.

“I don’t care who he was making fun of you do not have the right to punch someone. Go to the office NOW!” He screams and makes the TA bring me to the office. I grab all of my things from the locker room on the way.

I walk into the main office and right into Ms. Ashley’s office, still wearing my gym uniform.

She looks surprised to see me. “Josh! What’s going on?”

“Coach Urie sent him here because he punched Monroe in the nose,” the TA says indifferently, then walks out the room and closes the door.

“Josh is this true? Why would you punch him?” She says, concern lacing her voice.

“He was making fun of Tyler.” I say arms crossed as I sit down in the chair across from her desk. My anger is starting to lessen, but not enough.

Her expression softens and her concern grows. “Oh. I see…Now Josh I know that people can be cruel sometimes, but it doesn’t mean you can go around hitting them…However you’re not going to be in trouble for it this time. I know Tyler has been having a hard time and that kids can be mean…”

“But if you know kids are being mean to him why don’t you do something?” I say the anger almost completely gone from my voice. Something about how Ms. Ashley said that makes me believe that she really cares.

“I’m trying to help him the best I can, and I was hoping that assigning you to him would help in the times where I can’t help him. I hope you won’t give up on him.”

“Never,” I say and I mean it. 

I won’t give up on Tyler, especially not after yesterday.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Since it was eighth period and school was almost over anyway, Ms. Ashley excused me from ninth period and let me go home.

I changed out of my gym uniform before I left and walked slowly home, enjoying the nice day.

As I walk past Tyler’s house, I decide against knocking on the door, I figure Tyler had a really long night last night and deserves to rest. I’ll see him tomorrow.

I walk up to my house and see my both of my parent’s cars in the driveway

_ Crap, I forgot they were both coming home from work early today. _

I walk in the door and quietly try to sneak upstairs.

“Joshie?” My mom calls out.

_ Darn it, I guess there’s no avoiding this. _

“Josh what are you doing home so early? Shouldn’t you be in school?” My dad says from the couch.

I decide to just tell them the truth, no point in lying and I didn’t get in trouble at school anyway.

I walk into the living room where my parents are and explain the whole thing.

My parents were both so…happy, which was not the reaction I thought they were going to have.

My mom apparently told my dad what happened the night before.

My dad gets up and pats me on the back “Nice job son, the best thing a person could do is stand up for their friend. I’m proud of you”

“I’m glad you stood up for Tyler, but I wish you didn’t have to hit the kid, even though he sounds like he totally deserved it,” my mom says as she laughs.

_ Gosh my parents are the best.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Josh's point of view was my absolute favorite to write, so there will be plenty more of it.  
> Also he's such a good friend to Tyler already and I just love it so much  
> I hope you all enjoyed it, let me know what you think. Chapter 8 will be up tonight.  
> 


	8. I Want to Be Known By You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bullies threaten to crumble the friendship they have built  
> And even the deepest secrets always find a way to come out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized that a bunch of people subscribed to this story, thank you so much that makes me so happy. I never thought my story would be subscribe worthy this is really exciting  
> Since that made me really happy I decided it was time for the next chapter
> 
> Okay side note. I know in this chapter things are happening really quickly between Tyler and Josh and usually it would take a lot longer for that to be revealed but for the story to keep going it needs to happen earlier on  
> Chapter warnings:  
> -Bullying  
> -Blurry

**Tyler’s Point of View**

I wake up feeling great and completely refreshed. I needed that sleep so much.

The room is black and I look over at my clock, 5:00 AM.

I chuckle a little

_ Gosh I must have been really tired. I slept the whole day! _

I see the faint outline of a piece of paper on top of my clock. I turn the lamp on next to my bed and read it.

Hi Sweetie,

I didn’t want to wake you because you needed the rest and looked so peaceful. 

        If you  wake up and are hungry I baked some cupcakes and left them in the fridge. They’re 

        chocolate, I know they’re your favorite.

Sweet dreams.

Love, Mom

I smile the biggest smile. I’m so happy that my mom and I are back to having a good relationship. I missed her and hated making her sad. I’ve always been such a momma’s boy growing up.

My stomach grumbles and I realize I haven’t eaten anything in a couple days.

I hop out of bed and run downstairs, opening the fridge to see a whole platter of cupcakes. They look so good and my mouth begins to water at the sight. 

I take out a cup and pour myself some milk as I stuff my face with cupcakes. Nothing tastes better than cupcakes at 5:00 in the morning after getting a great night’s sleep.

I take the platter and milk and go sit on the couch and watch some TV as I keep eating the cupcakes.

At 7, my mom walks downstairs and gets the biggest smile on her face when she sees me on the couch with the cupcakes.

“Thank you for the cupcakes mom, they’re delicious,” I say, my mouth full and chocolate all over my mouth.

My mom laughs and comes over and gives me a hug. “I thought you would like them, I know they’re your favorite. I guess you found my note.”

“Yes I did thank you,” I say as I hug her back.

We stay like that for a while. I breathe in her familiar loving scent and everything feels right.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I get ready for school and walk outside. I see Josh leaving the house diagonal from mine.

_ So that’s how he knew where I lived. How funny _

He waves at me and I stand there and wait for him to come over.

“Hey,” he says, eyes bright and a huge smile on his face.

_ Gosh that smile is so cute. I could look at it all day. _

“Hey,” I say and smile back. Neither of us say anything else for a while. Neither one of us knowing what to say.

“Thank you…for saving me. You saved my life.” I say timidly. I decide to just go for it, I’m really appreciative for what he did. “Also thanks for not telling my mom what actually happened.”

“Of course man, I’m just glad you’re okay.” And when he says that my stomach melts because he actually cares. It feels so good to have someone actually care about me.

“I know it’s a small gesture, but I brought you a cupcake that my mom made. I would have brought you more than one, but I kind of ate the rest of them,” I say laughing as I hand him the cupcake.

Josh laughs and his laugh makes my chest grow warm. It's is so warm and calming, I could listen to it forever.

“Haha thank you I didn’t eat breakfast today so this is perfect thanks.” He unwraps it and eats it, “this is really good.”

We walk a little bit more in silence.

“Did I miss anything in school yesterday…?” I ask figuring nothing probably happened but not knowing what else to say.

“…Well…I may or may not have punched a kid and almost broke his nose…” he says and laughs his warm laugh again.

“WHAT?! If I knew you were going to do that, I might have gone to school yesterday.”

“You missed quite a show. Coach Urie was so mad I thought his head was going to fly off.”

“Oh geez you got Coach Urie mad, I’m surprised  _ your _ head wasn’t chopped off,” I say laughing.

_ Man that’s so funny. I wonder why he punched him though _

“To be honest I thought he was going to when he dragged me off the field by the back of my shirt.”

“Hahaha what happened, did someone mess with the red hair?”

“If they messed with the hair more than their nose would have gotten punched,” he said humor lacing his voice.

It feels so nice to genuinely laugh with someone. Josh is really funny, and I love hearing him laugh, it makes me feel good.

We joke the rest of the way to school and walk in the front doors.

Everyone stares at us as we walk in, but neither of us really care or even notice because we can't stop laughing.

We walk over to our lockers. Josh’s locker is right next to mine.

All of a sudden Monroe and a bunch of his posse walk towards us. Monroe has a huge bandage on his nose, and I’m guessing he’s the one Josh punched out.

_ Oh no this is not going to be good. Monroe is one of the meanest and most popular guys in the school. What did he do to piss Josh off? _

“Yo Joseph!” Monroe yells at me getting increasingly closer.

_ Why Josh, why him? Anyone but him. _

Josh and I slam our lockers closed. Josh turning rapidly to face the oncoming bullies, I try and prolong facing them as much as I can.

_ This is going to get ugly _

“You need the new kid to fight your battles for you? Too much of a whimp to do it yourself?”

“What are you talking about?” I look over at Josh, he looks like he’s ready to tear someone’s throat out. He has a protective stance on and glares at the bullies.

“Leave NOW, before I break another part of your body,” Josh seethes at them.

I’ve never seen Josh like this…I kind of like it. He’s sticking up for me, no one’s ever done that before.

“Whatever. You better watch your back Joseph before you’re not the only one hurting yourself.” He says as they walk away.

When he says that every bone in my body freezes, not by the empty threat but because he acknowledged IT. He brought up the one thing that I hate about myself and the one thing I tried so hard to hide.

Josh turns and looks at me, and as soon as he does his expression softens.

“Come on. Don’t listen to them it’s okay. Those guys are just jerks.”

I feel my knees getting weaker and I can feel myself shaking. I can barely move on my own.

Josh sees and his expression is one of worry.

He puts his hand on my shoulder and I feel like I’m going to melt. His hand is so warm and filled with so much care and concern.

“Come on, let’s go sit down somewhere.”

He leads me out to my spot under the bleachers. I always like to come here during the day when the stress of everything becomes too much.

I sit down against one of the poles and bring my knees to my chest. I can’t breathe and I feel like I’m going to explode.

And of course He has to show up now, because He always has to come at the worst possible times.

**_You can’t escape it Tyler. Everyone knows about you. Everyone knows what happened. Josh probably blabbed to everyone to become more popular and fit in. He hates you. He’s just using you. He doesn’t care about you at all._ **

As Blurry speaks I put my hands over my ears.

“SHUT UP BLURRY” I scream.

Then I realize I said it out loud and my heart stops. I look up at Josh.

_ Oh no. _

**_Hahaha now you did it Tyler._ **

“Um…who’s Blurry?”

_ Crap there’s no way to get out of this one. _

“Umm…there’s a lot I have to tell you Josh. I guess you’ve heard people talking in school about me behind my back…well obviously you did or you wouldn’t have flipped them off the other day…anyway something happened about a month ago and I think it’s time for you to know what you’re sticking up for.” I say weakly. 

I really hoped I could avoid this, but it’s inevitable. The truth would have come out eventually, by me or by someone else in school, except the others would have got it wrong. They don’t know anything.

And there's something about Josh, I feel really comfortable around him and I trust him a lot. He's not like anyone else I've ever met before. After what happened the other day I know I can trust him 

“Okay…take all the time you need. I’m here for you. I’ll listen. Say what you can manage.” He says, the caring thick in his voice and the sincerity in his words gives me strength to tell him.

So I begin. “Everyone has inner demons that they battle with in their life. Everyone has a battle they fight and struggle with. I struggle with my insecurities and my inner demon has a name, Blurry.” I then go into the story of Blurry and the gym incident. I roll up my sleeves and show Josh my arms. Josh says nothing the entire time. He lets me speak, never giving me a pitying look, never looking away, never looking disgusted by my arms. He just sits there and listens to me speak. The caring so evident on his face that he might as well have the words “I care and I’m listening” on his forehead. I am really appreciative that he lets me speak and doesn’t pity me and cares so much. It means a lot.

When I finish my really long explanation and story I put my head on my knees and expect Josh to get up and run away. But he doesn’t.

Instead he does something so shocking, that I have to open my eyes and look to make sure I’m not just imagining it.

Josh gets up sits down next to me and puts my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me close to him. His warmth flows through his hands and arms and warms me. At some point I began to cry and Josh tries to soothe me to stop. I fall into his shoulder breathing in his soft scent, he smells like the trees and I let that smell wash over me.

I don’t know how long we sat there like that. Josh never said a word until I was calm. It was never awkward or weird. The silence was one of caring and understanding. Pity never once entered that area as we both sat there, his arms around me and my head on his shoulder.

I never wanted to leave Josh’s warm embrace. I’ve never had someone care about me so much. I never wanted it to end.

Eventually I calmed down. The tears were gone, Blurry had disappeared and it was just Josh and I.

Josh spoke into my hair. “Thank you for being so brave and telling me your story.”

I looked up at Josh, eyes wide.

_ How can someone hear all of that and still be so kind and caring? How does he not run away? Isn’t he disgusted like all the others? _

“How can you be so kind to me after everything I just told you? How are you not running away like all the others did once they saw?” I say and the tears start streaming down my face again.

“I would never leave you Tyler.” The way he says my name makes my heart melt in my chest. “I would never leave. I understand what you’re going through. I understand what it’s like to want to never see another day, to have wars wage inside your own mind. It would be hypocritical of me to run away, and I don’t want to leave.”

I look up at him with so much admiration. “You have a Blurry?”

“Yes I do. We all do in some way. Mine was pretty bad when I was younger, never as bad as Blurry, but still bad and I’ve learned to deal with him and now he doesn’t bother me as much.”

“How did you deal with him? How did you do it? Can you teach me?”

“I eventually began doing things as if it were my last day. I began to try and see the good in everything in the world instead of looking for the bad. In the beginning it was hard and I was only doing those things to be rebellious and release my anger, but I then realized that there was so much in the world that I would miss if I was gone. Even though I felt like the world wouldn’t miss me, I began to realize how much I’d miss the world. I began to look forward to the adventures I would take and eventually my demon began to lessen. I still deal with my demon, but it’s at a level that I am comfortable with and can manage. Only sneaking up on me sometimes.”

“Sometimes when Blurry becomes bad, I begin to write. I write poems and it helps me with Him sometimes. But other times He’s just too strong for me and…and Josh what did I almost do the other day…” I start bawling again.

“No, no don’t think about that. It’s okay. You’re okay.”

“But I wouldn’t be okay if it wasn’t for you. I wouldn’t be sitting here if it wasn’t for you Josh.”

He pulls me into him tighter. His scent filling my nose and his embrace calming me down.

“Don’t think like that. It’s okay. You’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

“Don’t let me be gone, Josh. I don’t want to be gone.”

“I won’t Tyler. I won’t let that happen.”

And from that statement I can tell he means it. I know he means it. I know I have found someone I can trust and who will stick by me. Someone who will be my friend. 

I always felt a connection between us, but now I’m sure.

I have found a best friend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that those type of secrets aren't normally told so early on in a friendship, but for the sake of the story since this is a fluffy fic I needed it to happen earlier on so that they can become closer and I'm super bad with writing long passages of time in between events. So I apologize for that inaccuracy but I felt like it had to happen now so the fluff can start  
> Another side note, I love their friendship so much, they're so good for each other it makes me happy
> 
> Thank you all for reading and supporting this fic! Please leave any kudos or comments


	9. You're An Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friendships are solidified forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting a chapter today I was super busy. I hope you all had a nice day   
> This chapter is a little overlap of last chapter, but in the mind of Josh   
> I'm sorry it's super short but I needed Josh's mindset about everything to be brought forth.

**Josh’s Point of View**

I hold Tyler in my arms.

I don’t ever want to let go.

I want to feel his body pressing against my chest forever.

I want him to look at me with his big wide eyes and his cute smile.

He is so strong because of what he’s been through.

He’s seen so much pain in his life and I don’t ever want him to have to feel that again.

I won’t let him feel that again.

I’ll do whatever I can to make sure he never has to feel that again.

“Don’t let me be gone, Josh. I don’t want to be gone.”

When he says that he breaks my heart.

“I won’t Tyler. I won’t let that happen.”

And I mean it. I meant that statement more than I have meant anything in my entire life.

I will do whatever I can to make sure Tyler never has to feel that pain again.

Tyler’s tears begin to stop. He stopped shaking a while ago but the tears are stopping.

I hold him against me. Holding his small frame in my arms.

I can feel his every breath and heartbeat. His breathing is becoming more regular and I can tell he’s calming down, but I don’t want to let go.

I have a feeling Blurry is gone, because Tyler’s heartbeat is a steady pace.

We stay like this for a long time. Silent. Together.

My mom was right, it was definitely hard for him to tell me this, but I am glad he did. I’m glad he trusted me enough to tell me this.

I know I’ve made a friend today. A best friend. As he lays here in my arms I know we are best friends and I never want to lose him.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We were shocked out of our daze by the distant school bell. I glance down at my watch not wanting to move. 11:30 AM.

_ Crap. We missed almost all of our morning classes. _

I usually hate skipping class, but it was worth it. 100% worth it today.

“Did you hear the bell? What time is it Josh?” I love when he says my name. He sounds so innocent and adorable.

“…It’s 11:30” I say slowly not wanting him to get up.

“Oh no, we missed all our morning classes.” He springs up at first, but then settles back against the pole.

I drop my arms from around him, and suddenly it feels so much colder down here without Tyler’s warmth.

I can tell Tyler thinks the same thing because he shivers and pulls his sleeves back down.

_ That’s what Mark meant when he said ‘have you seen his arms’ the other day. I can’t believe people would make fun of him for that. Honestly it makes him brave that he still comes to school when he is dealing with what he is dealing with. The fact that he puts on a brave face every day despite Blurry and still comes to school makes him one of the bravest and strongest guys I know. _

“Should we go to class?” Tyler asks, looking at me with his warm brown eyes.

“We probably should. Do you want to?” I ask. I don’t want to push him into going back to classes before he is ready.

“Yeah we might as well…but wait what are we going to do for lunch?”

“We could eat lunch with Mr. Stump. I ate lunch with him yesterday and he’s a pretty cool guy. He offered to let me eat lunch with him whenever I wanted.”

“…okay...he has always been my favorite teacher.” Tyler says, but it looks like he has something else on his mind. “Hey Josh? I need to ask you something.”

“Sure what is it?”

“…what did Monroe say yesterday that made you mad enough to punch him?” Tyler asks and I can tell it’s hard for him to ask but he really wants to know.

“Does it matter? It’s in the past now.” I say trying to change the subject. What he said was awful and I don’t want Tyler to know.

“Please Josh, I have to know.”

I pause, I really don’t want to tell him.

“Please Josh. Whatever it is I have to know. I can’t go back into that building without knowing. No matter how awful it is. Please. I promise I can handle it.”

“…okay…but I really don’t want to tell you this…it’s in the past now.”

“Please just tell me. I have to know.”

“…okay. They started talking about how you weren’t in school…and one guy said you were in the hospital…and Monroe said that you probably did  _ IT _ , if you know what I mean. As soon as he said that, I had enough. I punched him in the nose and Coach had to drag me away.”

“Oh…I see…I figured it was something like that…thank you for sticking up for me Josh. I’m sorry if you got in trouble because of it.”

He looked so broken. I wanted to take him back into my arms. This is why I didn’t want to tell him, but I knew I wouldn’t have been able to get out of it.

Tyler stands up. “We should probably go to class before we get in even more trouble.” He says as he picks up his backpack.

We walk back to the building in silence. We made it back before the bell rang for the next period to start and we slipped into class.

No one noticed and no one cared. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. But ah can we talk about two things: first, Josh is such a sweetheart in this, I love little Jish.   
> Second, Jenna's Instagram post today. My gosh they both looked so good.


	10. Life Has a Hopeful Undertone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler decides to share the greatest secret of all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt bad for only posting one chapter today...and I have no self-control as we've definitely established  
> Also I feel so bad that these chapters are so short, but in order to be able to switch the pov between them I have to make the chapters shorter

**Tyler’s Point of View**

We ate lunch with Mr. Stump today and he was more than happy to have us there. Josh was right, Mr. Stump is a really cool guy.

He told us funny stories from his childhood and college years.

Mr. Stump is pretty young and I’m surprised he’s had so many funny adventures already.

Lunch flew by as we laughed and talked.

When the bell rang Josh and I got up and walked over to our lab table.

“Want to come over to my house tonight? We can play video games and watch TV. You can stay for dinner if you’d like,” Josh asks facing me.

I am so excited. He actually wants to hang out with me!

“Sure! That sounds great! What games do you have?”

“All the classics,” he says beaming.

“Even Super Smash Bros?” I say excitement clear in my voice.

“Of course! You can’t not have Super Smash Bros!”

“Awesome I’ll text my mom and let her know I’ll be late today.” I say as I pull out my phone.

I realize I haven’t checked my phone in days. I power on my phone and see Josh’s messages from the other day flash on the screen.

My stomach drops.

“How much did they tell you?” Blurry makes me say.

“How much did who tell me?” Josh looks at me confused.

I show him my phone.

“Oh, actually they didn’t tell me anything. They were so vague about it and once they saw you they stopped talking and walked away. I promise.” Josh says with sincerity in his voice.

I believe him and drop the subject. He knows everything now anyway. It doesn’t matter what those guys did or didn’t say to him.

I text my mom: “Hey Mom. I’m going over to Josh’s house after school. He invited me to stay for dinner so I’ll be home a little late.”

Within a few seconds my mom texts back: “Okay, have a great time! Be home before 11.”

My mom always has been a fast texter.

“My mom says it’s cool.”

“Okay great!” Josh says beaming.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mr. Stump’s class went by and so did our next period class. After that was the dreaded gym.

I turn to Josh after class is over.

“I have good news for you, Mr. Dun,” I say joking.

Josh looks over at me and smiles. “What is it Mr. Joseph?”

“Well, since I have stitches the doctor gave me a note that says I can’t participate in gym for a few months and I told the doctor that the school assigned you as my shadow so you had to stay with me and…he gave me one for you too!” I pull out the passes and hold them like we just won concert tickets.

“No way! Dude that’s awesome! No exercise for me.” He says laughing.

I hand him the pass. “We just have to walk to the gym today and show the passes to Coach Urie and we won’t have to go for the rest of the year!”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We walked to our spot under the bleachers during gym. I decide to show Josh my book.

“So Josh. Since I shared almost everything with you before, I want to share the rest with you now.” I take a deep breath.

I take out my book and hand it to him. 

“This is my journal. Whenever Blurry becomes bad I write poems and songs. This is the most personal thing to me and I want you to see it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger time. How will Josh react to Tyler's book? And what will happen at Josh's house? Find out this and more tomorrow  
> Also good news: WE'RE ALMOST AT THE FLUFF
> 
> Fun fact about me, Slurpees are my favorite thing in the whole world (besides TØP of course) and I got a slurpee today, so overall it's been a pretty great day


	11. An Addict With a Pen Who's Addicted to the Wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How does Josh react to Tyler's big secret?  
> What will happen as Josh introduces Tyler to his family?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So last night was not too great a night but that's okay because I WROTE ANOTHER FIC! I should be posting it very soon so keep your eyes out for it. It's a little bit different than this one (and it's only one chapter) but I like it a lot.  
> Anyway here's Jishwa's reaction to Tyler's soul. I hope you enjoy it

**Josh’s Point of View**

Tyler hands me his book. The black cover looking worn from use.

“I’ve never let anybody see it, but I want you to. I trust you.” And I can see how scared he is to show me this. Like he’s handing me a piece of his soul, which he probably is.

I’m honored and touched that he trusts me so much to show me this.

I take the book and carefully open the pages. I don’t want to ruin any of the pages because I know how precious this is to him.

I begin to read the book. Each page filled with the most beautiful and emotional poems and songs I’ve ever read.

Some pages it’s just poems with sketches drawn next to them.

Other pages it’s full out songs with notes and staves.

With each page I can see Tyler has poured his soul out into this. It is filled with so much raw emotion. And it’s beautiful.

I read through every word. Breathing in the lyrics and letting their beauty and wonder fill my mind.

When I get to the last page with writing on it I hold it in my hands searching for more. I don’t want it to stop the words are just so beautiful.

My mind craving to read more of his beautiful words.

“There’s no more. That’s all there is so far…” he says timidly. I can tell from his voice that he’s scared of my reaction. He handed me his heart.

“Tyler…this is…” I say searching for the right words. The magnificence of the pages I hold in my hands too much to put into words.

“Sucky I know.” Tyler says looking away

“No it’s beautiful. These are the most beautiful and amazing poems and songs I’ve ever read. The emotion, everything is breathtaking. It’s so hard for me to put into words how special and outstanding these are…” I stare at the book with wonder and I look up at Tyler.

He’s blushing so much and shifting cutely in his spot, pulling down on his sleeves with a huge grin on his face.

“You really like it?” He asks, unsure.

“I love it. They’re amazing. If you ever write more I want to read them all.” I say looking back down at the pages and flipping through them again.

Tyler starts to explain to me what some of the songs mean and represent. It takes my breath away.

The bell rings and I reluctantly give him his book back. Wanting to read his words over and over again.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At the end of last period, we go to our lockers. While Tyler is packing up I pull out my phone. 

I text my mom: “Hey Mom, Tyler’s coming over today after school. Is it okay if he stays for dinner?”

My mom replies: “Absolutely Sweetheart. He is always welcome.”

I reply back: “Thanks Mom. Also please DON’T bring up what happened the other day with the hospital thing. I know it will make him uncomfortable.”

After a minute she replies: “Sure thing, just told your dad the same thing. We won’t say anything.”

I put my phone in my pocket and close my locker. 

"Ready?" Tyler asks, closing his locker. 

I nod and we walk out of school to my house.

We walk in silence, enjoying the nice day, feeling the nice breeze. When we get to my house we plop down on the couch.

“Want a RedBull?” I ask Tyler.

“Sure, thanks.” He says. I hand him the TV remote.

I get up and walk into the kitchen where I see my mom sitting at the table.

“Joshie!” My mom says as she gives me a big hug. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

I give her a hug back and grab two RedBulls from the fridge.

“Hi Mom.” I say and walk back into the living room.

My mom follows me out. “Hi Tyler, sweetheart! It’s so nice to finally meet you.” She says ecstatically.

Tyler gets up off the couch and walks over to my mom. “It’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. Dun.” He says with an outstretched hand.

My mom ignores the hand and goes straight for the hug. “Call me Momma Dun.”

I give Tyler an apologetic look as my mom gives him a huge hug. “Thank you for what you did the other day, I really appreciate it.” Tyler says as he’s being crushed by my mom.

“Oh Tyler, honey, you’re very welcome. I’m glad you’re okay.” She says, hugs him a little longer and then lets him go.

“Thank you,” he says. Then to change the subject from getting awkward he says “Thank you for letting me stay for dinner.”

“Of course Tyler, you’re always welcome here. You can come over here whenever you like.” When she says that Tyler beams and getsthe biggest, cutest grin on his face.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the evening is uneventful. We watched some TV, played some Smash Bros and ate dinner.

Dinner wasn’t awkward at all and it seemed like Tyler really enjoyed himself.

My parents asked him questions and he was very comfortable answering, never bringing up anything related to the hospital. Everything just felt right.

He left my house at 10:00 and I watched him walk back over to his place.

He waved and smiled at me as he closed his front door. 

I didn’t think I’d hear from him again for the rest of the night until I hear my phone chime at 12 AM and see his name flash upon the screen.

_ Oh no. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for only posting one chapter today. I was super busy and then I was editing my new fic.  
> Enjoy the cliffhanger until tomorrow my frens. Thank you for reading. Please leave any comments/feedback and kudos  
> 


	12. My Name's Blurryface and I Care What You Think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night comes and tries to ruin everything  
> Will Josh be able to be there when Tyler needs him most?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, so I'm sorry about lack of chapter posting, I've been super busy lately, but I will try and post another chapter tonight  
> Chapter warnings:  
> -Blurry  
> -Mentions of self-harm  
> -Mentions of blood

**Tyler’s Point of View**

Dinner at Josh’s house was really fun, his parents are super nice and welcoming. They never asked me questions I wasn’t comfortable answering.

Hanging out with Josh was awesome. I’ve never been able to have so much fun with someone before. It was nice.

The rest of the night though…not so nice.

I got back home at 10:00 and was greeted by my mom who gave me a big hug.

By 11:00 I was in my room doing some homework, when He arrived.

I didn’t think He’d show up tonight; I had a great night before that and I didn’t think He’d come. But of course He did because He comes at the worst possible times.

I was thinking about how much fun I had tonight when I hear Him.

**_You know they pity you. That’s why they’re being so nice to you. They feel bad for you because they think you’ll try it again._ **

I ignore Him. I had too good of a day to let it be ruined by Him. But if there’s one thing about Blurry is He’s persistent.

**_You can’t ignore me Tyler. I’m all you have. Josh doesn’t really care about you. He’s just using you. He’ll leave like all the others. You’ll see. And then it will only be you and me again. Because I’m all you have and I’m all you’ll ever have._ **

I try to tune Him out and write, but tonight it’s not working. He gets more malicious and fervent.

By 12:00 I can feel myself starting to break down and listen to Him. I start looking for the blade that Josh hid, or maybe he threw away. I get down on my knees and crawl on the floor looking for it. I see my blanket stuffed under my bed covered in blood, my blood. Josh must have put it there the other day.  

_ Josh. _

I pull out my phone.

“Josh are you still awake? I need you.”

A minute later I get a reply “Is everything okay? What’s going on?”

“He’s back. He’s getting to me. I need help.”

“Are you okay, do you need me to call an ambulance?”

“No, no I’m fine I haven’t done anything yet. I need you to help me before I do.” I say and start to shake.

Blurry starts to scream and that blood curdling screech goes right through me and makes me sick and my skin crawl. He has my attention.

**_No don’t text Josh he doesn’t care. I care about you Tyler, I’m trying to help you. That’s why you need to do what I say. Go get the blade. You need it._ **

I start to sob and put my hands over my ears as I rock back and forth on the floor.

_ I don’t want to, I don’t want to. Help me please _

**_I am helping you Tyler. That’s why you need to get the blade._ **

The beeping of my phone shakes me out of my daze and I look at Josh’s reply.

“Do you need me to come over?”

I look at his response.  _ Yes! I want you to come over and hold me in your arms and tell me everything will be alright.  _ But I don’t say that. I don’t say anything. I rock back and forth with my hands over my ears as Blurry continues to scream.

A few more minutes pass by. My phone chimes again.

“Stay where you are, I’m coming over.”

A minute later I hear a window sliding open and feel a cool breeze wash into the room.

Josh sits down next to me, wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest. I don’t know how he got to my second story window, but I don’t care. I take in his scent and let his warmth take over me.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here. I got you,” he coos as he presses me into his chest.

We sit like that for a long time. He rocks me in his arms and holds me tight. I close my eyes and take in his scent as Blurry begins to scream less and less.

Blurry finally leaves and it’s just Josh and I.

“Thank you for coming,” I say, my voice muffled by his shirt.

“Of course. Anytime you need me, I’ll be here no matter what time it is.” I sigh into his shirt and breathe in another whiff of his scent. “How are you doing? Is He still bothering you?” he asks, never lessening his hold on me.

“He just left.” He holds me for a little bit longer. Then I hear Josh yawn and I realize it’s got to be really late.

“What time is it?” I ask.

He shifts slightly to look at the clock “Almost 1:30.”

“Josh I’m so sorry I kept you here so long,” I start to ease away, but I really don’t want him to let go. I want to stay in his strong arms forever, letting his warm touch comfort me.

“Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault.” He’s hesitant to let go, making sure I’m completely okay.

I yawn as my tiredness finally starts to come over on me.

Josh smiles a little when he sees me yawn, and I can feel my cheeks getting warm. I look away and hear Josh yawn again.

After a little while longer Josh leaves. I turn off the light and climb into bed.

I start to think about Josh and smile. Then sleep overtakes me.

And I fall into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is Josh such a sweetheart I love him  
> Tyler posted on Twitter 4 times yesterday we are blessed. The whole editing thing was so funny, I'm glad he came back online again
> 
> Also I posted my new fic yesterday! It's called Save! Me!   
> I've also just started working on a new fic so keep your eyes out for that


	13. We're Broken People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh decides to share a special secret with Tyler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the super short chapter. It's hard to make the chapters super long when switching perspectives every chapter.

**Josh’s Point of View**

I sneak back into the house, carefully trying not to wake up my parents.

“Where were you young man, it’s almost 2 in the morning” I hear my dad’s voice say.

_ Crap. I was so careful. _

I turn around and face where I think the voice came from “I went over to Tyler’s house, he needed me.”

I see my dad emerge from the shadows. His expression is one of concern “I see. Is he okay?”

“Yes he’s fine now.” I yawn, “I’m going to bed.”

“Goodnight. And Josh,” I turn around, “Next time at least turn the alarm off before you leave the house.”

_ Crap. I forgot about the alarm. _

“Sorry dad, I forgot about the alarm.”

I jump in bed and check my phone one last time to make sure Tyler doesn’t need me.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The day was pretty uneventful.

Tyler and I walked to school together and went to our classes.

We ate lunch with Mr. Stump, which we all talked about and are making a daily thing.

During gym we went under the bleachers, deciding it is going to be our spot from now on.

As we walk under the bleachers and take our spots against the poles I decide to confide in Tyler since he confided in me yesterday.

“Tyler…” I say nervously.

“Yes Josh?” He says and the way he says my name makes all my nerves go away.

“So remember my first day you asked me about my tattoo?” I say trailing off.

“Yeah?”

“Well I want to tell you what it means. I’ve never told anyone, but I want you to know. You deserve to know and I trust you.”

I take off my jacket and roll up the sleeve of my short sleeve shirt so he can see the whole thing.

My tattoo runs all the way up my arm covering the whole front of my right arm and most of the back.

My parents were not too happy at first when they saw that I got a tattoo, but it grew on them.

Tyler gasps “Oh Josh, it’s beautiful!” He says as he gets up and walks over to take a closer look.

“The design. It’s amazing!”

“Thanks. I want you to know what it means. This tattoo means as much to me as your book does to you.” I pause and take a deep breath. Tyler sits back down against the pole and waits, watching me with his wide eyes.

I begin to go into the story of my tattoo and explain what each part of it means to me. The whole time Tyler watched me with his cute brown eyes and never interrupted my story.

“That was beautiful Josh, thank you for sharing that with me.” He walks over again and stares at the tattoo, running his fingers up and down the design.

His touch feels so good against my arm. His fingers so warm and small.

He looks up at me and I look into his big brown eyes.

I poured my heart out to him today and he poured his out to me yesterday.

There’s no one I would have rather give my heart out to.

And in that moment looking into his eyes, my heart poured out to him, I fell in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so so so excited. There is a very special surprise in the next update and it's something you've all been waiting for  
> I can't wait  
> Let's just say that Chapter 14 is one of my all time favorite chapters   
> The next chapter will be up at some point tomorrow


	14. So Bold and Fearless in the Risks We Take

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Tyler and Josh go on an adventure together, Josh makes the ultimate confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My frens this is the update we've all been waiting for. I present to you the fluffiest fluff you'll ever fluff  
> This is one of my favorite chapters ever and after the super long buildup it's finally happening

**Tyler’s Point of View**

Josh’s tattoo is beautiful and the story and meaning behind it is even more beautiful.

I’m so happy that he trusted me enough to tell that to me.

I could tell it was hard for him, but I’m glad he did.

I look up at him and look into his eyes.

As I look into his eyes I feel like I am looking into his soul.

His soul is beautiful, just like he is.

I can feel myself falling for him as I stare into his eyes.

I feel like I’ve known him my whole life.

He knows my story and I know his. We both shared a private part about ourselves that no one else knows to each other.

We gave each other a piece of ourselves and in doing so I feel a connection between us. A special connection.

_ I think I’m falling in love with Josh. _

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After school we walk to Josh’s house to hang out.

When we get to his house we walk up to his room and watch a movie.

But after the movie was over, we began to talk about life.

And after a long and passionate discussion about our goals in life, which somehow led to talking about darkness, Josh broke the conversation.

“That’s it dude, we’re doing something fun, something crazy that you would never do. We’re going on a trip. It’s time to start living again.”

“What do you want to do?”

“This Saturday, you and me, we’re going on an adventure. It’s time you start living life away from the darkness again.”

“Okay…where will we go?” I ask curious as to what he has in mind.

“Leave that to me. All you have to do is be here by 8:30 AM Saturday morning…oh and bring some snacks, we’re going to be there a while,” Josh says his eyes bright and excitement in his voice.

I can’t help but be excited by this unknown adventure. The excitement in Josh’s eyes is contagious and I can’t wait for Saturday.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day just flies by.

Blurry comes and goes but never stays long enough to do any damage.

Josh and I hung out at his house Friday night and he wouldn’t budge and tell me where we’re going on Saturday.

“Come on dude at least give me a hint,” I say pleading.

“No can do, you’ll just have to wait until tomorrow,” he says smirking.

Both our parents are cool with the trip and told us we had to be back by 11 PM.

My parents are more than excited that I am hanging out with Josh so much and having fun.

Friday night I’m too excited to sleep.

I pack my bag and make sure I have everything at least four times before finally climbing into bed.

I drift off to sleep filled with excitement for the next morning.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At 8:30 I sprint out the door and run to Josh’s house.

He’s already outside packing his car.

“Are you ready?” He asks excited.

“Yes! I can’t wait.” I say as I climb in the car.

Both our parents stand at the front door on both sides of the street and wave.

Josh’s parents scream “Be safe!”

And my parents scream “Have a great time!”

We pull out of Josh’s driveway, Josh driving.

Excitement is in the air, almost like a tangible being around us.

We put on the radio and sing along as we drive.

Josh has such a cute voice.

After driving for over an hour, Josh happily tells me that we are almost there.

As we get closer I start to recognize where we’re going.

“No way!” I say incredulously happy.

“No way what?” Josh asks concerned that I figured it out.

“Are we going to the waterfall?!” I say over the moon excited.

Josh smirks “Darn, I was hoping you wouldn’t figure it out,” he says as we pull into the lot near the trail for the waterfall.

We get out of the car and grab our bags.

We begin to walk up the trail, observing everything around us in awe.

We start hearing the roar of the water and we know we are getting closer.

Finally we walk out of the trees and see the waterfall. It’s beautiful and exactly as I remember from when I was a kid.

We’re both breathless as we look up at the cascading water.

“Wow.” We both say in awe at the same time.

We look at each other and laugh.

“Want to go swimming?” Josh says and smirks.

And before I have a chance to respond Josh is taking off his shirt and unbuttoning his pants.

“Can we swim in here?” I ask nervously.

“Of course you can. I did my research.” Josh says as he takes his pants off.

He stands there in just his underwear and my heart starts to beat faster. I can’t take my eyes off of him.

He runs and dives into the pool and emerges a few feet away from the side.

“Are you coming or not?” He screams from the water. “The water is so refreshing!”

“I’m coming,” I say as I begin to take off my shirt.

I cautiously take off my pants, I wish he told me we were going to go swimming, I would have brought my bathing suit.

I stand there, toes in the grass, in my underwear. I feel extremely self-conscious as I walk towards the pool.

“Come on! Just jump in.” Josh yells trying to talk above the rush of water.

I walk to the edge of the grass and look down into the water. I can’t see the bottom.

Josh comes swimming over to the side. “What’s the matter, you do know how to swim right?”

“Yes of course I do.” I say placing one toe in the water.

“Then what’s the problem?” He asks caringly.

“Is it deep?”

“No it’s not too deep. It has a deep drop in the middle but the outer parts are pretty shallow.”

“Okay…move over. I’ll jump in.” I say cautiously.

I don’t like not feeling the ground under me. I mean of course I can tread water and stay above it, but I prefer to have my feet touch the solid ground.

But Josh is waiting for me, and he’s right I need to live life again and stop worrying about things. That’s why we took this trip in the first place. I should at least do one thing I’m not comfortable doing. Although I could argue that swimming in my underwear is one thing I don’t like doing but regardless.

I step back a little to give myself a running start. I run and cannonball into the water.

The water feels so amazing against my skin. It’s so cold and it feels almost magical.

Josh comes swimming over to me. “I give that jump a 6, tops,” he says smiling.

I playfully splash him with water, “Well if we’re rating entrances then I rate that dive a 4,” I say and laugh.

“Oh really,” he says laughing as he splashes me with water.

We swim around for a while, enjoying the cold water on this hot day.

“Come on let’s swim by the waterfall.” Josh says. “I’ll race you.”

“Oh it’s on!” I say and take off before he says go.

“Hey cheater!” He says laughing.

He grabs my leg to try and pull me backwards and I kick off of him to push forward.

I beat him there by a second.

“Winner!” I say with my hands up in the air as I swim behind the waterfall.

“No way, you cheated, I think we need a rematch,” he says laughing.

“I think you’re just bitter because you lost,” I say and laugh.

We both go silent and listen to the roar of the water, the wall of water right in front of our faces.

I stick my hand out and put it into the wall of water. Josh does the same.

The whole place just feels magical. There’s something special about the waterfall and it makes it even more beautiful.

We swim around for a while longer, but then we both get hungry.

We swim back to the side of the pool and climb out.

Josh climbs out first and I become breathless when I look at him.

He looks like a model, absolutely beautiful.

The sun reflects off the water droplets all over his body and give him an extra shine. His abs and tattoo glisten in the sun. He rakes his hand through his bright red hair to try and fluff it back into place.

I climb out and cross my arms over my chest, suddenly extremely insecure about my body.

Josh pulls two towels out of his bag and throws one at me.

“Thanks,” I say as I wrap it around myself.

Josh points to the side, “There’s a trail that leads to a clearing at the top of the waterfall.”

“Really?!” I say excited, “Let’s go!”

We pick up our clothes and stuff them in our bags. Then we grab our bags and begin to climb up the trail to the clearing.

When we get to the top, we sit down on a rock that overlooks the waterfall.

I take out two RedBulls and all the food I brought.

We begin to eat so many different foods, and start making weird combinations with them.

Once we finished eating, we put the rest of the food away and sit looking out at the waterfall.

We sit there for a while letting the sun dry us as we listen to the peaceful roar of the water and look out at it. Our feet are hanging off the rock and over the side of the clearing. The pool we were just swimming in so far down below us.

I have my towel wrapped around my shoulders, but Josh has abandoned the towel all together, letting himself naturally dry.

“You know my family brought me here once when I was a kid,” I say looking out at the waterfall and kicking my legs a little as they hang off the rock. “We were on our way somewhere else but they decided to stop so I could see it. We were at the bottom near the pool and I remember looking up with so much wonder. I couldn’t figure out how all that water pours down so beautifully. I was amazed by its beauty and I feel the same way now. It takes your breath away. Look how beautiful it is.” I say and continue staring at the waterfall.

“It sure is,” Josh says marveling.

We sit there for a little longer, just watching the rushing water and enjoying the nice day.

“Tyler,” he says in a sweet, charming voice. His voice captivates me.

I turn and look up at him.

“Yes Josh?” I say.

“I-uh I-well…” he says stuttering. Whatever it is it’s hard for him to say.

“What is it?” I ask nervously, afraid but curious of what he has to say.

“I- I like you Tyler. A lot. I don’t know how to describe it, but I feel a…connection between us. Your beautiful smile makes my heart warm and your laugh makes me melt. I love spending time with you and listening to you talk about what you like and about your hopes and dreams. Your big brown eyes captivate me and I think I’m in love with you…”

He catches me off guard for a second and it takes me a moment to realize what he just said.

_ Oh my gosh! He loves me! _

My stomach flutters and I feel happier than I have in a long time.

_ He loves me, he actually loves me. I love him too _

As I think this I put my hand on top of his. He turns his hand over and interlocks his fingers with mine.

I feel so nervous but it feels so right to me. I want this, I want to be with Josh. I love him and he loves me

“I think I’m in love with you too Josh…” I say nervously and smile at him.

Josh turns toward me and puts his free hand on my cheek.

I melt and I can feel my cheeks heating up.

Josh leans down and places a soft kiss on my lips. The kiss wasn’t too long or deep, but yet that one kiss is full of so much emotion, so much passion.

I feel like I’m flying on a cloud and may never come down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fluff is only just beginning. There is so much more coming up!  
> I just want to thank you all again for sticking around and reading this story  
> Also remember earlier on when I said "hey you should remember this it might come back" did you see it in this chapter? :)


	15. I Will Make You Believe You Are Lovely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh and Tyler's relationship is finally starting to begin. And it's adorable to say the least

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready for a super long chapter with our favorite boyfriends, because I know I am  
> This chapter has a bit of overlap from the last chapter just in the mind of Josh  
> (So basically we get to enjoy the beauty of Josh asking Tyler out all over again)  
> Also there's lots of kissing and cute stuff in here. I'm sorry if the kissing scenes are written weirdly I'm not the best at writing those kinds of things

**Josh’s Point of View**

“You know my family brought me here once when I was a kid,” Tyler says looking out at the waterfall and kicking his legs a little as his cute little toes swing in the air. “We were on our way somewhere else but they decided to stop so I could see it. We were at the bottom near the pool and I remember looking up with so much wonder. I couldn’t figure out how all that water pours down so beautifully. I was amazed by its beauty and I feel the same way now. It takes your breath away. Look how beautiful it is.” Tyler says as he marvels at the rushing water in front of us. He continues to kick his legs a little off the side of the rock.

“It sure is,” I say looking out at the waterfall.

I sneak another glance at Tyler, trying not to let him notice. He looks so cute. He’s sitting there in his underwear with a towel around his shoulders. His body is so adorable, I could stare at him forever. The water glistens off him and makes his hair on his head flatter but still cute.

We’re sitting so close I can almost feel his arm against mine.

_ I have to tell him. I have to tell him how I feel. _

_ Will he feel the same way? _

_ I don’t know but I have to do it.  _ I think, having an internal monologue in my head.

I decide to just go for it. My nerves eating me up inside.

“Tyler,” I say looking over at him.

He was looking out at the waterfall, but turns his head and stares up at me with his wide brown eyes.

“Yes Josh?” My heart melts at the sound of my name coming from his beautiful lips.

I don’t know what to say. How do you tell your best friend that you’re in love with him?

“I-uh I-well…” I stutter. The words just won’t come out right.

“What is it?” He asks timidly.

“I- I like you Tyler. A lot. I don’t know how to describe it, but I feel a…connection between us. Your beautiful smile makes my heart warm and your laugh makes me melt. I love spending time with you and listening to you talk about what you like and about your hopes and dreams. Your big brown eyes captivate me and I think I’m in love with you…”

There I said it.

That was the hardest thing I’ve ever said.

Tyler continues to look up at me, his big brown eyes never leaving my face.

It feels like time is standing still as he looks up at me.

My heart is beating rapidly in my chest, nervous for his response.

_ Do you think he feels the same way? Gosh now things are going to be so awkward between us. _

He reaches his hand over and places it on top of mine. I turn my hand over so that we are holding hands, our fingers interlocking as we sit on the rock looking out at the waterfall.

“I think I’m in love with you too Josh…” He says nervously.

_ He does?! _

I turn back towards him and see him smiling at me. His smile makes my heart warm.

I take my free hand and place it on his cheek. I can feel him melt into my hands.

My heart is beating rapidly, but I want to do this.

I lean down and kiss him on the lips. A short, light kiss, but the emotion was still there.

When I finished the kiss, Tyler’s eyes were closed and he looked so genuinely happy.

He opens his eyes and his eyes are so bright and are filled with so much happiness.

He puts his free hand on my cheek and kisses me. This time the kiss is longer, harder and filled with even more passion than the first one.

As we kiss my heart beats rapidly and my stomach flutters.

This feels right to me and I’m happier than I have been in my entire life.

Eventually (unfortunately) the kiss ended.

I didn’t want it to end.

We both open our eyes, and re-hold hands.

We had stopped holding hands at some point during the kiss.

We stare at each other, each of us looking into the eyes of the other.

I can feel him looking into my soul as I look into his.

I let him because he’s the only one I’d ever want to see my soul.

He starts smiling a huge smile, which makes his eyes crinkle a little.

His beautiful smile makes me smile and we just sit there, smiling at each other and looking into each other’s souls.

We stayed like that for a while, both of us too happy to speak.

Tyler then leaned down, placed a small kiss on my shoulder and put his head on my shoulder.

His one little kiss was so cute and sent goosebumps down my arm. 

I kiss the top of his head and then lean my head on his.

We stare out at the waterfall.

“Thank you for today Josh. I had a really nice time.” Tyler says.

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” I say and begin rubbing circles on the back of his hand with my thumb.

I can feel him smile against my shoulder.

“You really showed me what it’s like to live again and I’m really grateful. I haven’t been this happy in a long time,” he says.

I kiss the top of his head again.

The sun begins to set and we look at the beautiful sunset.

“Look at the sunset, isn’t it beautiful?” I say.

“It really is. This whole place is beautiful. I never want to leave.”

“Me either. Maybe we can convince our parents to let us live here,” I say jokingly.

He starts laughing, “Yeah that will go over well. ‘Hey mom I want to drop out of school so I can live in a tent next to a waterfall,’ I’m sure she would be very happy.”

I start laughing too “Hey you never know, maybe she loves the idea of living in the wild.”

“Maybe,” he says laughing.

After a few moments he stops laughing. “Josh…are we dating now?” He asks, unsure.

“I think so, do you want to?” I ask. I just assumed we were after those amazing kisses.

“Yes I do. I just wanted to make sure,” he says his smile returning.

“Absolutely,” I say smiling.

We sit for a little bit longer until the sunset is gone.

We reluctantly get up and get dressed.

As we walk down the trail and back to the car we decide to keep our adventure a secret. Something for just the two of us to enjoy.

We drive home and talk the whole way.

We get back at 10:30 PM and pull into my driveway.

Before we get out of the car Tyler leans over and kisses me. It’s short but still amazing.

“Thank you for everything.” He says and gets out of the car.

He grabs his bag and I watch him as he walks across the street, both of us smiling like maniacs.

When he gets to his front door he turns around and waves. I wave back and walk into my own house.

I am filled with so much joy, my heart filled with so much happiness, that I feel like I’m about to burst.

“Joshie! How was your trip?” My mom asks.

“Amazing.” I say. That one word barely describing how special that trip was.

I fall asleep that night happier than I have been my whole life.

I love Tyler and he loves me.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I wake up I see a text on my phone from Tyler.

As soon as I see his name I get filled with happiness again and think about yesterday.

“Hey, I really wish I could see you today and hang out, but my parents just told me that we have to go see my Grandma because she got hurt. I’ll miss you.” The text was sent at 1 AM.

“Hey. Is your grandma okay? I’ll miss you today.” I send back

He responds back almost instantly “Yeah she’s doing okay. She fell down last night and wasn’t able to get up.”

“Oh man, tell her I hope she gets better.”

“Thanks. We drove all night long. I’m so exhausted.”

“Dude that sucks. Are you guys going to stay there all day?” I send back

“Yeah we’re going to be here all day. I’m so bored and tired. I just want to be there with you.”

“I wish you could be here with me too, but you should be there for your grandma”

“I have to go, my mom needs me. I’ll talk to you later”

I put my phone down and stretch.

_ Today is going to be a long day without Tyler. _

“Josh I made breakfast if you want some,” my mom calls out.

I get out of bed and walk downstairs.

The smell of bacon hits me as soon as I get to the stairs.

I sit down at the table and put some bacon and eggs into my plate.

“How was your trip?” my dad asks. “Where did you guys go?”

“It was amazing.” I say and I debate whether or not to tell my dad where we went.

“Yeah where did you two go?” My mom asks

_ I guess I can’t get out of this one. _

“We went to the waterfall.” I say. I was deciding whether or not I should lie, when I remembered that my parents can tell when I’m lying.

“Wow that’s really cool. I didn’t know there was one around here,” my mom says.

“Yeah. It’s cool.” I say happily as I eat my breakfast.

“I’m glad you two had a good time,” my dad says.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the day went by so slowly without Tyler.

I watched some TV and movies and played some video games.

Finally I heard back from Tyler at 11 PM.

“Hey, sorry I couldn’t talk much today. I’m almost home. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

“It’s okay. How’s your grandma?”

“She’s doing well. Just going to leave a bad bruise.”

“I’m glad she’s doing better. I missed you today <3”

“I missed you too ;)”

We texted back and forth for a while until we both fell asleep.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning we go out of our houses and meet each other to walk to school together.

I run over to his side of the street and he gives me a hug.

I lean down and give him a quick kiss.

He giggles as I pull away, his cheeks getting their cute shade of red.

Tyler laces his fingers in mine so that we’re holding hands.

“I missed you so much yesterday,” he says as we start walking.

“I missed you too,” I say and bend down to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

He starts blushing again.

_ He’s so cute I’m so lucky to have him in my life. _

As we get closer to the school he pulls his hand out of mine.

I understand why he does it. People in school already make fun of him and torment him and he doesn’t want to give them another reason.

I don’t complain, but I wish I could hold his hand and kiss him forever.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We went to our spot under the bleachers during Gym.

I sat next to Tyler today instead of my usual spot.

We talked for a while, but then we just ended up kissing.

We started kissing on the lips. Passionate kisses.

Then I begin to move down his neck, leaving soft light bruises. I can feel him shudder and see the goosebumps.

I begin to make my way back up his neck, kissing him the whole time.

I then start kissing his jaw and cheeks.

Finally I make it back at his mouth and kiss him so passionately. I hold his face in my hands and he has his hands in my hair. He kisses me back and we both are engulfed in the kiss. Both of us kissing the other so hard.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At the end of the day we go to our lockers and walk home together.

At the exact spot Tyler let go of my hand he holds it, lacing his cute little fingers with mine.

“You’re staying for dinner today right?” I ask. Tyler has been staying for dinner all week, but I just want to make sure his parents don’t need him at home.

“Yes I’m staying.” He says and smiles.

“Wait. Do you think I need to change my shirt? Do I look nice enough for dinner? Should we stop at my house so I can change before we go to your house?” Tyler asks nervously.

“What, no you look amazing. Why are you worrying? You’ve been to my house every day for the last week and ate dinner with us.” I say confused.

“Because it’s my first time going over to your house as your boyfriend,” he says. And when he calls himself my boyfriend I get so happy inside and it makes my heart warm.

“Tyler, you don’t need to worry. My parents already love you, they don’t care what you wear to dinner.” I say and laugh. I love that he’s so concerned with making a good impression as my boyfriend. But my parents already love him and also they don’t know that we’re dating.

“Do your parents know that we’re dating?” He asks looking up at me.

“No I didn’t tell them yet.” I say

“Are you going to tell them?”

“Eventually, if you want me to.”

“I don’t mind if you tell your parents. They’re really nice and caring. Um…but can we not tell my parents?” He says looking down at the ground.

“Sure thing.” I say.

“Thanks. It’s just that they’re not the most open-minded people and I don’t know how they would react to this.” He says nervously.

“I understand. I won’t tell them.” I say and start making circles on the back of his hand with my thumb to try and make him less nervous.

My parents aren’t home when we get there. They usually aren’t because they’re at work.

Tyler sits down on the couch and I grab us each a RedBull.

“Want to watch a movie?” Tyler calls from the living room.

“Sure. Put something on.” I call back as I walk back into the living room.

I sit down on the couch next to Tyler.

Tyler takes the RedBull and begins to drink it.

Once he’s finished he places it on the coffee table.

As we watch the movie Tyler picked out, he puts his feet on the couch next to him and leans up against me. His back laying against my chest.

I wrap my arms around him and shift a little so that he can lay comfortably against my chest and I can hold him.

Once the movie is over Tyler’s heart begins to beat rapidly. It’s the unnatural beating that comes when Blurry is around. Tyler doesn’t say anything but as I look over at him I see his eyes shut tight and his eyebrows furrowed.

“LEAVE BLURRY. I KNOW YOU’RE HERE. NOW LEAVE TYLER ALONE.” I scream out.

Tyler opens his eyes, shocked. He looks up at me.

“How did you know He was here?” He asks, his eyes wide as he stares at me in awe.

“Your heart always beats unnaturally fast when He’s around,” I say and squeeze my arms around him to give him a hug.

“He left. Thank you.” He says and the sincerity and gratitude in his voice makes me want to kiss him, but there’s something else in his voice too. A hint of sadness and fear.

“Josh I’m scared. I’m scared that He’s going to come back stronger. He doesn’t like when I’m happy and when I’m with you I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m scared He’s going to become more malicious and dangerous,” Tyler says the fear so thick in his voice it makes my heart hurt to hear him like that.

“Don’t worry I’ll protect you, I won’t let Him hurt you. If He comes anywhere near you I will fight Him with my bare hands and make sure He never speaks a word. I will do everything I can to make sure He never hurts you again.” I say and I mean it so much. I will try and protect Tyler with my last dying breath. I won’t ever give up on him and will help him against Blurry.

“Thank you Josh, it means a lot.” He says and places a cute little kiss on my arm. I love when he does that. He puckers his lips and then plants a tiny little kiss on me and it’s so adorable.

I kiss the top of his head and I can see him start to blush.

_ Man I love when he does that  _ I think and smile.

We decide to watch another movie. Tyler stays in my arms the whole time.

When my mom comes home from work, we decide to move up to my room so that we can have privacy.

We finish watching the movie upstairs and put on another one. My mom calls us down that dinner is ready.

Tyler is nervous. “Do you think they’ll be okay that we’re dating?”

“They love you Tyler of course they will.” I say and hold his hand.

When we get downstairs he lets go of my hand and I give him a quick kiss on the cheek and his face lights up.

We take our usual seats at the table, sitting next to each other.

I take his hand under the table and make a circle with my thumb on the back of his hand.

We both smile and begin eating our food.

“How much do I owe you, $40?” my dad asks my mom.

“Yes 40, thank you very much.” She says and takes the money from my dad.

“Why did you just give her money,” Tyler asks confused.

“We made a bet to see how long it would take before you two started dating and I won,” my mom says beaming.

“You guys made a bet?” I say shocked.

“Yes, you both make each other so happy. We knew it was only a matter of time before you both started dating,” my mom says happily.

“Yes we knew it was going to happen. I just thought it was going to take a little bit longer,” my dad says and laughs.

“Mothers know best,” my mom says laughing.

“How did you figure it out?” I ask.

“We can see you both holding hands. And you haven’t stopped smiling at each other since we got home. If you were trying to hide it you both make it very obvious,” my mom says and laughs again.

Tyler’s cheeks turn bright red as he blushes. I laugh.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After dinner we finished watching our movie upstairs. Once it was over we played some video games.

“Yes I won! In your face,” Tyler says and laughs.

“Guess I have to kiss the winner,” I say and lean over and give him a kiss.

He then leans back over and kisses me again, harder this time.

I rake my fingers through his hair and he mine. I roll over on top of him and begin kissing him all over. His cute little moans make me kiss him more.

“I love you,” Tyler says looking up at me.

I smile a huge smile and kiss him on the lips before I say “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few updates about this fic.  
> First update, since my first day of school is tomorrow (ugh) I will only be able to post one chapter a day. But these upcoming chapters are relatively long.  
> Second update, so I have been very indecisive about how I wanted to end this fic. I had an ending planned but my friend said he liked another ending better and helped me come up with it so I wrote that one. But I felt like it wasn't enough, it wasn't completely fitting to end this fic that way, so last night I typed up my original idea for an ending. So basically long story short is this fic will have 2 endings. Since I still really like the other ending I wrote, I still want to post it. So there will be an alt ending posted after I post the first ending. Both endings have an epilogue so each ending technically has 2 chapters, but like I said I will be posting both and I will let you know again when the time comes.


	16. Won't You Torture Someone Else's Sleep?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh and Tyler's relationship goes all the way   
> Will an awkward dinner with Tyler's parents ruin everything?  
> And will Blurry ever stop?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this chapter has so much fluffy goodness in it my heart swells reading it   
> Also it has implied smut. I have no idea how to write smut for my life (I'm sorry) so they do have sex in here but the scene changes as they do and skips to right after they finish. (Even though I literally read Joshler smut all the time I can't write it so I'm really sorry to let you guys down in that aspect)  
> I'm also not too great at writing kissing scenes.   
> Basically I'm a mess and this is my first Joshler fic so please don't judge me too hard  
> Chapter warnings:  
> -Blurry   
> -Mention of scars  
> -Implied smut

**Tyler’s Point of View**

Josh really surprised me when he knew Blurry was there today. I never realized that he could tell and it makes my heart warm that he cares enough to remember and look out for when Blurry is there bothering me. I never realized that my heart beats so unnaturally fast when Blurry is around. I mean of course I realized that my heart beats fast, but for it to beat differently enough that Josh recognizes it as Blurry’s appearance surprised me.

I really love Josh. He makes me feel so special and so loved. I’m so happy when I’m around him, he makes me feel so important, like I’m the most special person in the world and I love him.

I’m so glad I told him that I loved him and I’m happy that he told me he loves me back.

I’ve never been so happy before. Josh is the most special thing to me.

When I get home from Josh’s house today my mom greets me at the door.

I thought it was strange that she was waiting at the door, she usually doesn’t.

“How was dinner?” She asks.

“It was delicious,” I say and smile as she hugs me.

“You’ve been going to Josh’s house every day for dinner. You should invite him here for dinner tomorrow night,” she says.

I don’t know what to say. I mean if we were obvious enough for Josh’s parents to realize we are dating, we have to be really careful not to be at my house. I don’t want to lose Josh and I’m afraid what my parents will do if they find out. Plus I love eating at Josh’s house. His house is so bright and warm and accepting and full of love. My house is slowly having the love return to it. I feel more comfortable at Josh’s house, but I can’t say no to my mom.

“Okay I’ll invite him,” I say and walk upstairs to my room.

I get changed and go to bed. Tonight it’s oddly easy to fall asleep. After Josh yelled at Blurry I’ve been feeling better.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning on our walk to school I am nervous to ask Josh to dinner. We hold hands and walk down the block.

“So um, my mom invited you over to my house for dinner tonight,” I say nervously.

“Okay that sounds great, I’ll text my parents and let them know that I won’t be there for dinner tonight,” he says excitedly.

“Okay cool,” I say distantly.

“What’s the matter? Don’t you want to have dinner at your house?”

“Well, um, it’s just that your house is so much more enjoyable than mine. Your parents are so warm and caring. I feel more comfortable at your house than I do my own…” I say trailing off. I’m much more comfortable at Josh’s house. I mean I know me and my mom are building our relationship back up, but it’s still not completely fixed and it just doesn’t feel right having Josh at my house.

“It will be okay,” Josh says leaning down and kissing the top of my head. I love when he does that, it always makes me feel a little better. I feel my cheeks heating up. “I promise I won’t tell your parents that we’re dating. And we probably should do a better job hiding it tonight if we don’t want them to find out,” he says smirking.

“Thank you. I mean I’m not embarrassed that we’re dating or anything it’s just-” I say.

“I know I understand. Don’t worry I won’t tell them.” He says and smiles.

Josh is so understanding, what did I do to be so lucky to have him as my boyfriend?

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When we get to my house after school, I’m super nervous.

My mom is already home when we get there.

We walk in and I grab us two RedBulls from the fridge.

My mom quickly hugs me and says hello and then runs out the kitchen as I get the RedBulls. 

“Josh! It’s so nice to see you again,” my mom says excitedly.

“Hi Mrs. Joseph,” Josh says and gets up to shake her hand.

Unlike Josh’s mom, my mom takes his hand and shakes it, avoiding the hug.

“Dinner should be ready at 6, I hope you boys are hungry,” my mom says beaming.

“Yes I’m starving,” I say walking out the kitchen.

“Me too. Thank you for inviting me to dinner,” Josh says politely.

“Of course! You both have been eating dinner at your house I wanted to be able to meet you properly!”

I hand Josh his RedBull and sit on the couch.

I decide not to sit super close to Josh on the couch like we normally do. I don’t need to raise suspicions.

Josh looks hurt for a second but then smiles at me.

“I’ll let you boys watch some TV, I have to get back to cook.”

We watch TV until dinner.

My dad gets home right as dinner is finished cooking.

Josh shakes his hand as the three of us walk to the kitchen. “Hi Mr. Joseph, I’m Josh.”

“Hi Josh, it’s very nice to finally meet you,” my dad says happily.

Josh and I smile and sit next to each other at the table and my parents sit across from us.

The dinner is super awkward, definitely not like Josh’s house at all.

At Josh’s house, dinner is so fun. The conversations flow so naturally and we all feel so comfortable, especially me; Josh’s parents always know the right thing to say and I never feel uncomfortable. Josh’s parents are so funny too, especially his dad. There is never a dull moment at dinner.

Not at my house. The conversations were so forced. No one knew what to say. After some very awkward questions to Josh, followed by a very awkward string of short conversations, we all just decided to stop talking.

I wanted to reach over and hold Josh’s hand so badly, both to apologize about this awkward dinner and for comfort to feel better about what is going on. But I don’t because I can’t raise any suspicions to my parents. I can’t lose Josh.

Once we all finished eating all four of us were internally relieved.

Josh thanked my parents for dinner and we went up to my room.

“I am so sorry about that. It was so awkward. This is why I love it at your house and why I didn’t want to have dinner here,” I say as we plop down on the bed.

“It’s okay. I mean it was a little awkward, but it was nice,” he says trying to be nice.

“What do you want to do now?” I ask looking at Josh.

“I think I know something we could do,” he says and smirks his cute little smile.

He leans over and starts kissing me, passionately.

We have our hands in each other’s hair and he eventually rolls on top of me.

He begins to kiss down my neck and all over my face.

And before I realize what I’m doing, I start to take off Josh’s shirt.

He gives me a dirty little grin and takes off my shirt.

I run my hands over his big strong body and he begins kissing all over my chest and arms.

The passion thick in the air we decide we want to go for it, we want to go all the way.

I unbutton his pants to show him that I want this.

“Do you want to do this?” He asks, making sure before he starts.

“Yes I do, I want this.” I say. I want to do this. I love Josh and he loves me and I want this.

He takes off his pants and takes off mine.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“That was-” I say breathless.

“Amazing.” Josh finishes just as breathless.

We lay next to each other in my bed, panting like maniacs.

Once our breathing calms down, Josh wraps his arms around me and cuddles me.

“You are amazing. I love you Tyler Joseph.” He whispers in my ear.

“I love you too Josh Dun.” I say

And we fall asleep like that. In each other’s arms.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I shock awake from an awful nightmare.

**_You thought you could escape me Tyler. But I’m never gone._ **

My heart stops. I thought I was rid of Him for a while or forever since Josh knew He was there yesterday, forever would have been nice.

_ Of course He has to come and ruin the most amazing night of my life. _

I see His bright red eyes watching me from the side of the bed and I sit up, careful not to wake Josh.

_ Go away Blurry. _

**_Don’t you get it Tyler, you need me. I’m all you have. Josh is just using you. It’s a trap. He doesn’t actually love you. No one will ever love you. You’re worthless._ **

_ No. You’re wrong. GET OUT OF HERE _

**_Look at me Tyler._ **

He walks over and places His hand on my chin and lifts my face to look at Him.

His cold dead hands freeze all my bones and I start to violently shake.

I’m surprised Josh doesn’t feel the shaking, because once He touches me, I am a wreck.

That always gets my attention.

**_No one will ever love you. Everyone will leave you and I’ll be the only one left here for you. We only have each other because you’re worthless and don’t deserve love in this world._ **

His inky dead hand is still on my chin and I can’t stop shaking. It feels like my entire body is frozen.

I want to wake Josh up. I want him to wrap his warm arms around me. But I can’t move or speak, my body frozen by Blurry.

Blurry removes His hand from my face, but His cold lingers and the shaking becomes worse as I start to cry.

Blurry becomes more malicious in His words and I find myself putting my hands over my ears and rocking back and forth as my body violently shakes.

_ Josh is a really deep sleeper if he can’t even feel this _

Blurry’s words become too much for me

“STOP!” I scream out loud.

I’m so broken down by His words I can’t even think. That one word just escapes from my lips.

Then another “Josh!” I say less loud this time, but still loud enough.

I’m still shaking and rocking with my hands over my ears.

Josh shocks awake.

“Tyler!” he says so full of concern and love.

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest.

His bare body smooth against mine.

His warmth flows into me and I feel his love surrounding me.

“Shhh shh. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here. He can’t hurt you.”  He coos into my ear.

Josh kisses me on the top of my head and continues to hold me with his strong arms.

“Why do you put up with me? Why do you love me? I’m worthless. I don’t deserve you or your love.” I say crying into Josh.

“Don’t say that, Tyler. You’re the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me. You are adorable and so special to me. I wouldn’t want to love anyone else.”

His sweet words make me cry harder and make Blurry madder.

_ I love him so much and I don’t ever want to lose him. Why would I listen to Blurry? _

“Leave Tyler alone Blurry. You can’t hurt him anymore,” Josh says.

Blurry begins to scream His awful scream, but it’s not as loud as it used to be. He’s getting weaker.

_ He’s getting weaker! That’s why He was so desperate tonight. He’s losing! _

I find some comfort in that thought, but His screaming still hurts my head and gives me an awful migraine.

I take in Josh’s scent. He smells like the trees and I let his scent calm me.

I stop shaking, but the tears are still coming.

“Leave Blurry!” Josh says again.

This time Blurry disappears.

Josh holds me in his arms for a long time. I let his warmth and his soothing touch envelop me and calm me down.

Once I calm down I kiss Josh’s arm. One little kiss against the strong muscle.

Josh’s arm gets goosebumps and I smile a little.

“He’s gone?” He asks, love and genuine concern pouring out of him.

I nod. “You made Him leave. He got weaker when you woke up.” I say softly. I’m still shaken up from His visit.

“I’m sorry I didn’t wake up sooner. I’m kind of a deep sleeper.” Josh says

“You don’t say,” I say and laugh a little. “I was shaking like an earthquake and you didn’t even stir,” I laugh.

“I’m so sorry. How are you doing?”

“Better now thanks to you.” I say appreciatively.

Josh holds me for a little bit longer until we both start to yawn.

We lay back down and I fall asleep in his arms.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the morning Josh sneaks out my window and into his house.

My parents didn’t see him leave this morning and thought he left last night.

This was the first time we’ve ever spent the night together and it was magical. I didn’t want him to leave, but we have school and we can’t let my parents see that he stayed the night.

I get dressed and walked downstairs to eat breakfast.

“Good morning,” my mom says to me from the table.

“Good morning mom,” I say back as I pour myself a bowl of cereal.

“Josh is such a sweet boy, he’s a good friend to you,” my mom says smiling.

“Yeah he’s the best,” I say and smile back.

“Are you going to his house for dinner today?”

“Yes I’m pretty sure,” I say and I can see my mom has a look of relief on her face. I guess she’s not over how awkward the dinner was last night either.

Josh greets me outside with a huge smile and a big kiss.

“So my parents aren’t going to be home until late tonight, so we have the whole house to ourselves,” he says with a naughty grin

“Perfect,” I say trying to give a dirty grin back but being totally unsuccessful. I start laughing.

“Hahaha what was that,” Josh asks, his charming laughter filling the air around us. 

“I was trying to do a dirty grin like you do.” I say starting to blush

“That was definitely not dirty, sorry to say, but it was very cute,” he says smiling.

I playfully push into his arm.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Our days at school have been going pretty well.

We eat lunch with Mr. Stump and he’s a really chill guy.

We go under the bleachers every day during gym, recently we’ve been spending more time kissing during that time, but still talking before we start and after we finish.

I’ve learned so much about Josh and he about me. I feel like I’ve known him forever. We know more about each other than anyone else knows about us. We are so similar and so close with one another, it’s like we were meant to be with each other.

“What should we get for dinner I’m starved,” Josh says on our walk home

“Want to get some Taco Bell?” I suggest.

“Yes dude, absolutely,” Josh says eagerly.

He always carries his car keys with him so as soon as we get to his house we just jump in his car, not even stopping inside to drop off our things.

We drive to the Taco Bell and pull into the drive through.

We both order and eat in the car talking and enjoying the most delicious food in the world.

After talking and eating for a while, we drive back to Josh’s house since the house will be empty for a few more hours.

We walk into Josh’s house and I feel at home. I feel the warmth and love from his house engulf me as I walk through the door.

“So we have the house to ourselves for a few more hours,” he says with a sexy grin.

“Whatever shall we do,” I say playing clueless and smirking.

He grabs my hand and leads me to his bedroom. He closes the door and I jump down on the bed. I lay on my stomach with my chin in my hands and my legs in the air looking innocent.

Josh turns around and starts hysterically laughing

“What?! I was trying to get you in the mood,” I say smiling

“By laying on your stomach like a schoolgirl?” He says dying of laughter. “You don’t need to do that to get me in the mood.” He says and plops down on the bed next to me.

He takes me in his arms and flips me over on my back. “There,” he chuckles, “now you’re laying like a normal person.”

He leans down on me and begins kissing me all over. He takes off my hoodie and shirt, so that I’m only in my pants. He kisses me all over my face, neck, hands, and arms. He kisses up the one remaining scar on my arm from the day Josh saved my life. I run my hands under his shirt and against his strong hard body. I moan as the kisses become deeper.

Josh unbuckles my pants but stops before he goes further, making sure.

“Yes do it Josh, I want it,” I say breathless

He pulls my pants off and flips me on my back

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Josh and I lay naked in his bed, more breathless and sweaty than we were yesterday.

I grab Josh’s hand and he lifts my hand and kisses my palm.

“You are amazing Tyler Joseph,” he says amazed and breathless

“And so are you Josh Dun.” I say just as breathless and smile.

Josh takes me in his arms under the covers and we fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had my first day of Senior Year today and it was awesome! I love being a Senior so much it's the best thing ever  
> I wonder if anyone from my school reads this fic. Hello and I'm really sorry if you know me irl.   
> Sorry again for only one chapter a day but I think super long fluffy chapters make up for it a little bit


	17. Sometimes Quiet is Violent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens after Josh and Tyler's big night?  
> And will Blurry be able to make them break?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm sorry the chapter was updated so late things have been crazy with school. It's only the second day and I already have 2 quizzes and a paper due Monday.  
> But anyway enjoy a long chapter from the world's most adorable sweetheart: JOSH!  
> Chapter warnings:  
> -Mentions of self harm  
> -Mentions of scars

**Josh’s Point of View**

I wake up to Tyler shaking me

_ Where am I? What time is it? _

“Mmm?” I moan and rub my eyes

“Josh wake up! Your parents are home,” he says urgently.

“Mmm so what?” I say moaning not understanding why it matters.

“You’re laying butt naked in your bed,” he says.

I remember why I’m asleep and I smile.

“Oh man,” I say as I sit up.

Tyler is sitting next to me in the bed. He put back on all of his clothes except his hoodie. He smiles his adorable smile at me and throws my pants at my face.

“I’ve been trying to wake you up for five minutes now. You’re such a deep sleeper,” he smiles. His hair is all mussed and he runs his hands through it to fix it.

I put on my pants and get up to find my shirt. Tyler throws my shirt at me and I put it on.

Tyler looks over at his hoodie, down at his bare arms, and over at me. He decides not to wear it.

That’s a big deal for Tyler. He always wears long sleeves or his hoodie. He’s very insecure about people seeing his arms.

I smile at him and run my hands through my hair.

He comes over and fixes my hair for me.

I hold both of his hands when he’s done and kiss him on the lips.

“You’re not wearing your jacket,” I say happily

“Yeah, I feel comfortable not wearing it around you. I don’t feel the need to hide myself around you,” he says looking at me lovingly with his big beautiful brown eyes.

This is a big step for Tyler and I’m proud of him. He hasn’t harmed himself since we’ve started dating and the only remaining visible scar is the one from my first day of school. He’s been so happy lately and I’m so glad he’s doing well against Blurry.

“Josh! Are you there?” I hear my mom calling from down the stairs.

“Come on we should go. This is the second time they’ve called for you,” Tyler says.

I unlock the door and walk out into the hallway. Tyler follows right behind me.

“Hey mom. Sorry we were playing video games and had the sound on super loud,” I say and walk down the stairs

“Hi Tyler! I didn’t know you were still here. Sorry to interrupt your game,” she says and smiles. “What did you boys get for dinner?”

“It’s okay. We got Taco Bell,” I say and smile.

“Of course you did, you’re always eating that greasy food,” my dad says and chuckles.

“How was your night out?” Tyler asks politely.

“It was very nice thank you!” My mom says happily. “You boys can go back and finish your game, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know we were home Josh.”

“It’s okay I should probably be getting home anyway. It’s almost 10:30,” Tyler says, looking back at me.

I give him a hug goodbye and he takes his backpack that he left by the front door and walks home.

“How was your night?” My mom asks me as Tyler leaves.

“It was great,” I say smiling.

Just thinking about what we did today makes me so happy. Gosh I love him.

After talking to my mom I go back up to my room.

I see Tyler’s hoodie on the chair by my bed. I walk over and pick it up

_ He left his jacket here. I’ll have to give it to him tomorrow _

I change into a tank top and take off my pants. I climb into bed still holding Tyler’s hoodie.

I lift it to my nose and smell his sweet scent. It makes me feel like he’s in bed with me.

I hold the hoodie in my arms and fall asleep smelling Tyler’s beautiful scent.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was shocked awake by the frantic beeping of my phone.

It’s Tyler’s ringtone

I changed his ringtone so that if he ever needed me during the night I’d be able to hear it and wake up.

I spring out of bed and grab my phone. It’s 1:30 AM

5 texts from Tyler and the bubble shows he’s writing another

“Josh.”

“Are you up.”

“Blurry.”

“He’s here and He’s mad.”

“Please help me.”

Another one comes through while I’m reading

“I can’t stop Him.”

I text back quickly “I’m coming right now. Stay strong for a minute more I’ll be right there. I love you.” I add the last part because I hope that would distract him from Blurry for a minute until I get there.

I turn off the house alarm (because you only make that mistake once) and run out of my house as fast as I can

I climb up to Tyler’s window and into his room

I see Tyler sitting in the middle of the floor with a broken razor next to him. His fingers have small cuts on them from trying to take apart the razor. He’s rocking back and forth with the blade in the palm of his hands, staring at it

I sit down behind him and wrap my arms around him

“Josh I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I was trying so hard to fight Him off. I really was. I made a promise to myself to not do this for you, but I couldn’t stop Him from making me. I’m sorry Josh,” he says bawling.

I take the blade from his hand and push it away. I pull him into my chest so that his whole body is laying against me.

He tucks his head into my shoulder and starts crying harder, shaking violently.

“Shh shh, it’s okay. I’m proud of you for texting me, that was very strong of you,” I whisper at him. I kiss the top of his head and put my chin on his hair.

I hold him in my arms

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” he sobs into my chest.

“Tyler it’s okay. He can’t hurt you now. I’m here,” I say and pull him closer.

His heart is still beating fast, incredibly fast, way too fast for a heart to beat.

Blurry’s still here

“BLURRY LEAVE. YOU’RE DONE,” I say sternly

Tyler puts his hands up to his ears and presses hard against his head. He starts shaking more and more

“Shut up shut up shut up,” he sobs. “He won’t leave. He won’t leave. You’re making him madder Josh. He’s screaming.” Tyler says crying, his hands pressing so hard to his head.

“BLURRY GET OUT OF HERE. YOU CAN’T HURT HIM, I’M HERE NOW GO.”

Tyler starts shaking his head, “No, no, no, no, NO”

I’ve never seen Tyler like this. Blurry is very bad tonight. I don’t know what to do to help. All I can do is yell at Blurry and comfort Tyler

“Leave Josh…He doesn’t want you here…He won’t stop until you’re gone,” he says.

“I’m not leaving you Tyler. He’s lying He won’t stop if I leave don’t trust Him,” I say trying to comfort him.

Tyler has told me a lot about Blurry and how manipulative He can be. How much pain He’s caused Tyler and just overall how awful He is. I won’t leave Tyler alone with Him, He’s just trying to trick him so that Tyler can hurt himself…or worse

_ No don’t think like that. He’ll be okay as long as you stay with him _

“LEAVE JOSH,” Tyler says pained.

I grab onto him and try and comfort him as much as I can. But despite my efforts I can’t shut off the voice in his brain

“NO!” I say sternly. I’m not leaving him. Blurry can’t be trusted

“You’re just using me you don’t care about me. Get out of here. He hates you. He hates when you’re here. Leave Josh. Leave.” Tyler says pain so thick in his voice. He’s still shaking. His eyes are closed and his hands are still over his ears.

I was just about to tell Tyler that he’s wrong that I do care about him, but all of a sudden Tyler stops shaking and his eyes spring open. He starts shivering now. His whole body goes cold as he stares up at something in front of him.

Tyler has told me that sometimes Blurry takes on a form outside of his head and can touch him. Whenever He does Tyler says he gets all cold and can’t move.

I guess that is what’s happening right now.

I swat around the area in front of Tyler hoping that maybe I can hit Blurry and make Him leave or at least let go of Tyler.

Tyler screams and leaps out of my arms landing on his knees. He springs towards where I placed the blade.

“No Tyler,” I scream.

As he springs towards the blade I grab his legs and drag him backwards. Tyler starts clawing against the ground kicking his legs to try and free himself.

“LET GOOOO,” Tyler screams in agony.

I stand up and drag Tyler backwards harder this time because he almost escaped my grasp. He’s squirming and yelling and kicking with a force that’s not his own.

“No. Tyler listen to my voice. It’s me, Josh. You’re okay. You don’t need to listen to Him. He can’t hurt you. I love you and I would never hurt you, you can trust me.” I say as sweetly and lovingly as I can

As my words sink in he starts squirming less and less until he lays flat on the floor.

His chest starts shaking and I can hear him crying against the carpet.

I lean down and sit down next to him. I put my hand on his shoulder to help lift him up. As soon as I touch him he gets up and falls into my chest giving me a tight hug

“Josh. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” he says crying into my shirt as we hug on the floor.

“Tyler it’s okay it’s okay I got you. You’re safe now,” I say. His heart is beating at a normal pace now. Blurry is gone.

“Josh He was awful today. He made me believe you were gone, that you left. That I was gone. He was worse tonight than ever, He hates how happy you make me. He hates you. I’m sorry Josh I’m so sorry,” he says breathless between sobs.

“I will never leave you Tyler, ever. You’re okay now I got you.”

“Please don’t let me be gone,” he breaks down into my shoulder.

Those words again. They break my heart.

“I won’t Tyler. I won’t. I made a promise to you the day you first said these words. I won’t let you be gone and I’ll do whatever I can to protect you.”

Tyler cries into my shoulder for a while. I rub circles into his back and hold him in a hug.

Finally he speaks again, “Thank you for not leaving me. Thank you for staying. Thank you for coming and for loving me. I don’t deserve someone amazing like you Josh,” he says sniffling.

“I would never leave you. You are so special, you deserve the world Tyler Joseph.”

Tyler doesn’t let go. He stays pressed up against me. His crying is stopping now. I take in his beautiful scent. He smells like the ocean breeze. He always smells so good, I love his scent.

“Will you stay with me for the rest of the night?” He asks, his voice muffled by my shoulder.

“Absolutely,” I say.

Tyler slowly releases from the hug and takes my hand. He looks up at me with his big brown eyes. Only his big brown eyes are pink around the bottom from crying and there are tear stains all over his cheeks. His eyes look so sad and so tired; holding pain and anguish. But in his eyes there is also gratitude and love peeking its way through.

He places one little tiny kiss on my hand and walks me over to the bed.

I get in on one side and he on the other. We face each other, both of us looking into each other’s eyes, each other’s souls.

Tyler gives me one little kiss on my nose. I smile and reach over and hold his right hand with my right hand. He takes my hand and pulls it over him as he rolls over, so that we can cuddle. His back is to me now and I move closer to him so that our bodies are touching. My right arm is draped over him as we hold hands.

I watch Tyler as he falls asleep. I watch his chest rise and fall until it becomes a slow steady pace. I kiss his ear and fall asleep myself.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wake up to Tyler cutely rubbing his eyes facing me.

“Mm good morning,” I say sleepily

“Good morning. You know you look beautiful when you sleep,” Tyler says and smiles.

I smile back at him.

Tyler looks so adorable. His hair is so fluffy and sticking up in every direction. He yawns a cute little yawn.

“How was your sleep?” I ask

“Good because I had you protecting me. You protected me from Blurry entering my dreams,” he says sweetly and smiles.

“Good I’m glad I was able to protect you.”

“Last night was really rough. Thank you for showing up. Blurry was really mad that I’ve been so happy. He was so strong last night, He was controlling my actions again.”

I remember the intense force that Tyler had when he was trying to kick himself free from me. It’s scary to think that Blurry could control him like that.

“I’m glad I could help. I hate that He has so much control over you. I wish there was something more I can do,” I say. I wish I could help him more. Last night when I yelled at Blurry He only got worse for Tyler, He became more intense and vicious.

And what if I hadn’t changed my ringtone, what if I hadn’t woken up, what if I was a few minutes later; Tyler would have hurt himself or worse.

_ No stop thinking like that, you helped him so much last night. _

“You did help me though, Josh. You saved me from doing something I would regret. You just being there for me is the greatest thing you could ever do, thank you.” He smiles sweetly at me and holds my hand, snapping me out of the worries flooding my brain.

I lift his hand and kiss it.

There’s a knock at Tyler’s door.

We both look at the door then back at each other, eyes wide.

“Tyler. Wake up, it’s almost time to go to school, you’re going to be late,” Tyler’s mom says from the other side of the door.

“Okay mom. I’m up, I’m just running a little late. Be down in a minute,” Tyler calls back.

“I’ll see you in a few minutes,” I say as I get up to climb out the window.

“Be careful,” Tyler calls out as I slide out the window.

I run across the street and into my house.

“Josh where have you been, you’re going to be late for school,” my mom says to me as I walk in.

“I’m sorry mom. Tyler needed me, it was an emergency. Everything’s okay now though.” I say as I run up the stairs.

“Is he alright?” my mom calls after me

“Yes he’s okay,” I call from my room.

I throw on a shirt and a pair of pants. I grab Tyler’s hoodie from my bed and throw on some sneakers.

I run downstairs, grab a muffin and my backpack and run out the door.

We have five minutes to get to school. We really overslept.

Tyler comes running out of his house the same time I do.

We meet in front of Tyler’s house.

I hand him his hoodie “here I thought you might want this,” I say.

“Yes thank you,” he says and puts it on.

We hold hands and run down the block to school. We make it to homeroom with thirty seconds remaining.

We sit down in our seats panting and completely breathless.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At the end of fourth period, one of the hall monitors walks into the class and hands Ms. Williams a pass. She reads it and looks at me.

“Josh, Mr. Wentz wants to see you immediately.”

_ Oh crap, what did I do? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy it! Please leave any comments and kudos  
> Also I began a new collab fic so I haven't been able to come up with many ideas for Save! Me! but it is coming. I just have so many ideas for so many fics and I start one and never finish because I move onto another one while the idea is still fresh so I have so many unfinished fics lying around waiting to be completed. (Wow that was a really long run on sentence)  
> And I have to write my college essay and I'm in College Writing so basically I have a lot of writing to do lol  
> But I want to thank you all so much for reading and supporting this fic. You are all so nice and I'm so glad you're enjoying it


	18. A Loser Hides Behind A Mask of My Disguise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bullies try to tear them apart but nothing can break their relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU START READING  
> Hello, okay so this chapter there is a new warning in here that I never put in the original tags.  
> There's a little bit of homophobic language in here, but it's quick and I hated having to write it   
> But I just wanted you all to be aware   
> Warnings:   
> -Homophobic language  
> -Bullying  
> -Blurry

**Tyler’s Point of View**

One of the hall monitors walks into class and hands Ms. Williams a pass for Josh.

It’s for Mr. Wentz, the mean assistant principal.

_ What did Josh do? _

Josh looks over at me with slight terror in his eyes as he picks up his backpack and walks out the room.

The period is almost over with five minutes left. After this is Lunch.

The bell rings and I walk out of the classroom. I start to walk towards the main office to wait for Josh.

Mr. Stump isn’t here today, so I don’t have anywhere to go, plus I want to be there for Josh when he gets out.

As I walk through the hallways I hear a deep husky voice call out at me, “Yo Joseph!”

I immediately recognize the voice and my stomach goes into knots. It’s Monroe.

I keep walking, hoping maybe I can ignore him and he’ll go away, or maybe I can make it to the office before he can do anything.

No luck for either.

He speeds up and calls out again, “Hey Joseph, where’s your bodyguard? He get sick of fighting your battles for you?”

I turn around to face him, “What do you want Monroe?” I say not wanting a fight.

“We never got to finish our little chat from last week,” he says getting closer and standing over me.

Monroe is the captain of the football team and the meanest guy in our school. He’s over six feet tall and scares the living daylights out of me and everyone else in this school. He’s the worst bully there is.

I gulp, trying to swallow my fear and look tougher than I actually am and feel. “There’s nothing to talk about,” I say standing up straight and looking him in the eyes.

He steps closer and I step backwards, “Don’t play stupid. Your little boyfriend broke my nose and made me miss the biggest game of the season.” He says glaring at me.

“Not my fault,” I say trying to act tough.

He pushes me up against the wall, slamming my shoulders into the wall and holds me there. He stands on my feet so that I can’t move or run away.

I try to move my feet out from under him, but it’s no use. He’s at least four times the size of me.

“It  _ is _ your fault, and now you’re going to pay,” he says growling.

My fear is rising and I can feel it in my throat. My feet are going numb from his immense weight and I can’t move my arms because he’s pinned me against the wall. All I can do is stand there, vulnerable against the wall.

_ Josh. Please Josh, please come find me. I need your help. I need you.  _ I silently plead in my head.

Monroe quickly releases one of my arms and just as quickly punches me in the stomach, hard.

I groan, the pain exploding all over my abdomen. He releases my other arm and I bend over in pain, clutching at my stomach.

“What’s the matter you fag, you can’t fight back? You can’t take a little pain,” he says sneering at me. “Not so tough without your boyfriend are you?”

_ Boyfriend? He shouldn't know about that. _

He laughs. I see my chance and take it. His abdomen is completely exposed.

I punch him in the stomach, hard, hoping that he’ll get off of my feet.

He barely flinches. Instead he gets madder and punches me again in the stomach, harder this time. Then again, and again. The pain is exploding in me, I can barely move.

“Hey jackass get off of him,” I hear in the sweet familiar voice that I love.

Monroe steps off of my feet and turns towards Josh.

I crumple down to the floor clutching my stomach and trying not to throw up.

“Aww how sweet the fag is protecting his baby fag. Tired of fighting this little wuss’ battles yet?” He says getting closer to Josh.

Josh stands there looking just as menacing as Monroe. His shoulders are back and his glare is frightening. 

I’ve never seen Josh like this. His whole demeanor is different. He looks ready to kill if he has to so that he can protect me.

“You didn’t learn your lesson from the first time I kicked your ass?” Josh seethes at him.

Monroe swings his fist at Josh’s face and Josh blocks it. He knees Monroe right in the privates super hard. Monroe crumples over and screams out in pain.

“Mess with Tyler again and it will be worse next time,” Josh says in the most frightening voice I’ve ever heard.

Josh comes over to me and leans down. “Are you okay?” He asks. The anger and spookiness completely gone from his voice and replaced with love and concern.

I can’t speak in the fear that I will throw up from all the pain, so I just nod.

Josh helps me up and supports me with his arm under my shoulder. I put my arm on him so that I can hold myself up and keep one arm on my stomach. My feet are almost completely numb and my stomach is in the worst pain I’ve ever felt.

“Do you need to go to the nurse?” Josh asks

I shake my head no.

“This is not over asshole,” Monroe screams out voice cracking from the pain.

“Come near either of us again and see what happens,” Josh warns.

He leads me to our spot under the bleachers. As soon as we get there, I throw up into the garbage can.

Josh puts his hand on my back and rubs circles as I throw up into the garbage.

Once I’m done I sit down in my usual spot, clutching my stomach, tears in my eyes.

Josh hands me a water bottle and I drink it. I reach into the side of my bag and pull out a mint and eat it, not wanting Josh to have to smell that and getting the awful taste out of my mouth.

Josh sits down next to me and puts an arm around my shoulder.

“You okay?” He asks with so much love.

I shake my head and stare at the ground “I can’t even protect myself. I can’t protect myself against him, against Blurry, I’m worthless.” I say crying.

“No you are not worthless Tyler,” Josh says putting his head on my head and rubbing my arm with the arm that’s draped around me.

“Yes I am Josh. If you hadn’t showed up, I would be in worse shape than I am right now. I can’t even protect myself from my own mind. How pathetic is that,” I say looking down at the ground, tears spilling out all over my face.

“You are not pathetic. You are one of the strongest guys I know. You come into school every day despite the fact that you deal with Blurry. You put on a brave face and go to a place that gives you nothing but grief, despite the war that goes on in your mind. That takes a lot of strength, a lot of strength to get out of bed every morning and come here, and that makes you the strongest guy I know,” Josh says. His voice is so comforting and sweet. I love him so much.

“…you always know just what to say to make me feel better,” I say and kiss his cheek.

“I only say the truth,” he says and I can feel him smiling against the top of my head.

Silence for a few more moments.

“Do you think he actually knows that we’re dating?” I ask

“I don’t know. I never told anyone,” Josh says.

“I don’t want to hide it anymore,” I say looking up at him.

“Are you sure?” He asks looking at me

“I’m sure. I don’t want to hide the best thing that’s ever happened to me anymore. I love you Josh Dun and I don’t want to hide it anymore. I want to be able to hold your hand in the hallways and feel your comfort, support, and love. I don’t want to hide it,” I say.

I don’t want to hide it. I love Josh and I don’t care who knows it. If people are going to assume that we are dating anyway, then let’s just make it official to everyone.

“I love you too. And if you’re sure this is what you want then I’m okay with it.” Josh says looking into my eyes.

“It’s what I want.” I say resolutely. “They assume that we’re dating anyway, I don’t want to hide it anymore. I don’t care what anyone has to say, you make me happy and that’s all that matters.”

He presses his forehead against mine and stares into my eyes. “You make me extremely happy, I’m glad we get to tell everyone,” he says.

He kisses me on the lips. It’s a short kiss, but still full of the usual passion.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Lunch is over, we walk out from under the bleachers to go to Physics.

We walk into the school holding hands.

My stomach is fluttering, from nerves or the pain of being punched I’m not sure. Maybe both.

Josh squeezes my hand once for support.

We walk through the hallways and I can feel people staring at us. I stare straight ahead and keep walking. I try to keep my shoulders straight, I have to catch myself to stop slumping a few times.

My hands are getting all sweaty and my heart is beating fast. The only thing that keeps me from freaking out is the warmth coming from Josh’s hand in mine.

No one says anything to us as we walk to class. We walk into the room and sit down at our lab table.

When we get there I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I breathe out. I slump over in my seat and put my head down on the table.

“Hey are you alright?” Josh asks giving my hand a squeeze.

“I’m okay now…Everyone was staring at us.” I say

“I know it was really annoying,” Josh says irritated

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No one said anything to us all day. We didn’t see Monroe at all or any of his posse either.

We walk home from school, holding hands as usual.

We go up to Josh’s room and plop down on his bed.

“So I’ve been thinking,” Josh says.

“About?” 

“We should go on another adventure this weekend. Some place different. To get away from everything and enjoy ourselves,” he says excitement building in his voice.

“Yes! That would be so fun I had a great time last time. Where should we go?” I say, Josh’s excitement contagious.

“It’s going to be a surprise again. We will go on Saturday same time as last week!” He says giddily.

I can’t wait. This is exactly what I need. I need to go away with the guy I love and escape the world. After Blurry’s visit last night and Monroe today, I desperately need this trip. And there’s nothing better than going on an adventure with Josh.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After dinner we go back up to Josh’s room and play some video games.

Josh lost again.

“Ha! I win again. You need to step up your game,” I say and stick my tongue out at him.

“You’re just too good,” he says smiling. “At least I know I’m good at one thing.”

“What’s that?” 

He leans over and kisses me. The kiss is passionate as always and makes me feel like I’m flying on a cloud. Josh always makes me feel good. He makes me feel special and loved.

I love him and being around him.

He rolls over on top of me and I lay back against his pillow.

He kisses all over my face and begins going down my neck. He bites the soft spot on my neck and I groan in pleasure. I never knew that a bite would actually feel this good. He licks the spot he just bit and I can feel myself get goosebumps.

He kisses me all over, as if he’s gotten it down to a science, knowing just where to go to make me feel good.

I slide my hands all over his big strong body. Josh takes off my shirt and pants.

I unbuckle his pants as he continues kissing all over my bare chest.

He slides off my underwear

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We fall back onto the bed, panting and sweating like maniacs.

We fall asleep in each other’s arms and I wake up a few hours later.

I look over at the clock, 8:00 PM.

Josh mumbles in his sleep and I just watch him. He looks so adorable when he sleeps.

I start to think about how lucky I am to have such an amazing guy in my life.

_ What did I do to deserve such a fantastic guy? _

_ I don’t know but whatever I did I’m glad I did it. _

Josh is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

As if he could feel me staring at him, his eyes start to slowly flutter open.

“Hello beautiful,” he murmurs as he rubs his eyes.

I can feel my cheeks get warm and I giggle “I like the new nickname,” I say sheepishly.

He laughs “I just call it as I see it,” and smiles.

Josh grabs my hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing each of my knuckles.

“Gosh I love you so much,” he says staring at me with his beautiful honey eyes.

I blush, “I love you too.” I say and kiss his nose.

He smiles a huge smile that make his eyes crinkle on the sides. I love when his eyes do that, it makes them even cuter than they are already.

Josh sits up in the bed and pulls me up against him, so that I’m lying against his big strong chest. He kisses me on the top of my head and wraps his arms around me. I can feel his abs against my bare back and his warmth envelops me.

I feel so safe in Josh’s arms and so loved. I never want to leave.

I feel at home in his arms. They are my home and sanctuary, I can cuddle up in Josh’s arms and I know I’m safe and that nothing will ever hurt me.

Josh starts chuckling and I can feel every rapid rise and fall of his chest.

“What’s so funny?” I ask curiously

“Hahaha no I was just thinking. This definitely isn’t what Ms. Ashley had expected to happen when she paired us up together,” Josh says humor thick in his voice.

“Haha definitely not,” I say laughing. “Speaking of administration, I forgot to ask you, what did Mr. Wentz want today?”

Josh, still laughing, says “Nothing actually, he just wanted to make sure that all my classes and everything was going well. He’s the head of academics, apparently, and so he just wanted to make sure everything was fine and that I didn’t like learn any of this stuff in my old school.”

“That’s good. I was scared you got in trouble or something,” I say.

“Me too, he is a scary dude,” Josh says.

We decide to watch a movie in Josh’s room. Josh really wanted to watch a horror movie so I agreed, even though I hate horror movies, they’re too scary for me. But at least if I get scared I can just hide in Josh’s arms.

His arms actually make the movie a little less scary for me, and as the movie goes on I begin to think about our upcoming adventure this Saturday. I start wondering where Josh has planned for us to go, or if he even planned it already. I think about our trip to the waterfall and how much fun it was. My mind starts to wander even farther and I start to think about Josh and I’s future together. Senior Year is over in a few months and we will both be going to college. We both got into Ohio State, and we have talked about rooming together. I start to think about how many more adventures we could have when we’re in college and even after college. We can travel abroad during Spring Break, we can have a life together, maybe even get married someday.

I have a huge smile as I think about our life together.

“Tyler? Hey Tyler? Earth to Tyler,” I faintly hear Josh saying. He waves his hand in front of my face and I snap out of my daze.

“Huh, yeah?” I ask confused.

“Haha you were totally spaced out. You had a huge grin on during the killing scene and I knew you weren’t paying attention because usually you get so scared during those parts and bury your adorable head in my chest,” he says chuckling.

“Haha sorry Josh, I was just thinking,” I say and smile. “But if you want I can pretend to be scared and still bury my head in your chest,” I laugh.

“Were you thinking about me?” He says with a cute little sly grin.

“Actually yes,” I say and blush.

“I knew it! Okay, well carry on, I know my awesomeness just constantly needs to be thought about,” he says jokingly with a huge smile on his face.

I playfully nudge him and curl up in his chest. Josh resumes the movie and I can’t help but continue thinking about our future together.

Eventually the movie ends and I have to go home. I reluctantly leave the safety of Josh’s arms and get dressed. I feel so much colder without Josh’s warm embrace.

Josh gives me a big kiss and walks me to the door.

I go home and fall asleep. My head so full of thoughts about Josh that Blurry doesn’t have any room to seep through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay that Cancer cover oh my gosh I am shookend#  
> It was amazing and Tyler's voice had so many waves and twirls and I loved it so much I can't wait for the full version  
> The Instagram version was great but holy hell this one was so much better I wasn't expecting that at all I've been listening to it on repeat for 2 hours


	19. This Is Not What I Had Planned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler and Josh go eat lunch with a new group of people   
> Secrets are spilled, will their relationship survive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry I didn't post a chapter. School has been so stressful. I have so much work already   
> I feel like the chapters really don't have any or many warnings when told from Josh's pov.   
> Enjoy this super long chapter

**Josh’s Point of View**

I watch as Tyler walks across the street to his house and wait to close the door until I see him go inside.

I walk back to my room and look out the window. I can see the light on in his room and I smile. I shut the blinds and lay down in my bed. The bed is so much lonelier without Tyler in it.

I grab my laptop and begin doing research for our adventure on Saturday. It has to be perfect.

Tyler has had such a rough few days, he needs this trip.

I start to remember when I took adventures to help myself when I had a bad week. I would go someplace new, someplace exciting and it would help me through those hard times. I could be alone in a peaceful place and just relax. I could escape from the world and really live again. I did some really fun things. My favorite was when I went sky diving.

I’m happy I get to go on these adventures with Tyler now. He makes these trips even more enjoyable than when I went alone. I can’t wait for us to go on more adventures with each other and to share the experience with one another.

I search for a couple of hours before finding the perfect place.

I continue to do more research on the place and plan out our day together before falling asleep with my laptop on my chest.

I wake up to my alarm clock going off and the bright light from my laptop in my face.

Reluctantly, I turn off the alarm clock and close my laptop.

I get ready for school and walk outside to meet Tyler in front of his house.

Tyler comes out with a huge smile on his face and comes running out and gives me a big kiss.

I hold his hand after the kiss is over and smile.

“I guess someone had a good sleep,” I say smiling.

“I did! Blurry didn’t come once last night or in my dreams. I actually got to have normal dreams again,” Tyler says beaming.

“That’s great! I’m so happy for you,” I say.

I’m so happy for Tyler. He’s been struggling with Blurry for a while now and I’m glad that he got at least one peaceful night from Him. Especially after the other night when Blurry tried to control his actions.

I shudder as I remember the strong force Tyler had when he tried to pull away from me that night.

We walk to school holding hands and talking as usual.

Except Tyler doesn’t let go of my hand at the same spot he usually does. Instead, he gives my hand a little squeeze and straightens his shoulders and puts on a brave face.

I’m so happy we decided to not hide our relationship anymore. I know Tyler was worried that people would give him even more of a hard time than they already did. But luckily they didn’t yesterday. Of course people stared at us, that was expected, but they didn’t say anything to us or behind our backs, which was good.

I just wish people would stop staring at us. It’s rude and it irritates me so much.

I can feel myself getting more and more irritated as we walk to homeroom. Everyone just stares at us and moves aside from us, as if we have some disease that they’re afraid of catching.

I guess Tyler can sense my irritation because he squeezes my hand again and whispers “It’s okay Josh.”

When he says my name I can feel myself cool down and blush. I love how he says my name, he sounds so cute and innocent.

We walk into homeroom and sit in our seats. Tyler holds my hand and I feel comfort in just holding his hand and knowing he is there for me.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As we are walking to lunch, or rather Mr. Stump’s room because we eat there every day, a group of girls walk up to us.

Tyler seems to recognize them because I can see a quick wince cross over his face.

I squeeze his hand once to give him support.

The girl in the front of the group stops in front of us.

“Hi Tyler!” The blonde girl says cheerily.

“Hi Jenna,” Tyler says back, less enthusiastic than she is, but still being polite.

I can tell he is scared but is trying not to let it show. These girls must have done something before to make him uncomfortable.

“Who’s your friend?” She asks motioning to me.

“I’m Josh,” I say putting my guard up and standing up straighter, ready to protect Tyler if he needs.

“Eek! Are you two dating?!” She asks cheerily

“Yes we are,” Tyler says happily. The biggest grin comes across his face when he says that and I start to relax. He’s not as nervous so I relax a little. I guess he was worried they would say something mean about us dating.

“Ahh that’s so cute, I’m glad you found someone that makes you happy Tyler. Do you both want to eat lunch with us today?!” She asks the cheeriness never leaving her voice and honestly it’s really annoying.

Tyler looks over at me to see what I want to do. I shrug, I’m not sure if it’s the annoying cheeriness of the girl or the wince that Tyler did when he first saw them, but I can’t judge the situation too well. I figure it’s best for Tyler to decide because he obviously knows these girls better than I do, so he should make the decision based on what he’s comfortable with.

“Um, sure that would be cool thanks,” he says nervously.

“Great! Come on!” Jenna says and grabs Tyler by the arm.

Tyler looks back over at me wide eyed as we are pulled towards the cafeteria.

Jenna’s group of friends walk with us happily to the cafeteria.

As soon as we walk into the door of the Senior Cafeteria the whole room goes silent, just like it did my first day of school.

Jenna pays the silence no mind and continues talking about her cheerleading practice that she has after school.

She never lets go of Tyler’s arm and has it hooked with her own. Tyler never lets go of my hand and so the two of us are being pulled by Jenna to a table in the corner of the cafeteria.

I see Monroe a few tables over and glare at him.

He pretends that he doesn’t see me and looks away.

I smile a little when he does that. I’m glad I could help Tyler against that bully. Plus apparently he’s the meanest bully in school and he’s afraid of me, score!

We get to Jenna’s table and she pulls Tyler to a seat next to her.

“Here Tyler come sit next to me! Josh you can sit next to Casey if you want!” she says and motions to another girl with blonde hair.

Tyler looks at me wide eyed and scared. I open my mouth to say that I want to sit next to Tyler but I’m being pulled by Casey to the other side of the table.

Tyler and my hands release from each other and I feel like I just had a piece of myself ripped off of me.

I look at Tyler apologetically and try to get back over to him but it’s no use.

_ Geez these girls are strong. _

They all introduce themselves to me. There are two brown haired girls and another blonde haired girl: Monica, Hayley, and Nicole.

“So Josh, how are you liking Ridgewood High?” Hayley asks me.

“It’s nice here I guess, better than my old school,” I say.

I look over at Tyler. Jenna is fluffing his hair and still has one arm linked in his. She is talking to him about something random. Tyler looks so uncomfortable like he wants to disappear into thin air. His eyes are closed and his cheeks are bright red.

Tyler opens his eyes for a second and looks me straight in the eyes. The expression in his eyes is one of fear but also just overall uncomfortableness.

I want to help Tyler so badly, but I can’t move, I’m trapped in between Casey and Nicole.

Tyler looks like he is about to have a panic attack. I have to do something to help him.

I extend my arm out as far as I can under the table. Tyler extends his out and grabs onto my hand.

A look of relief passes over his face as we hold hands.

“You guys are such a cute couple! How long have you two been dating?” Jenna asks, the excitement and happiness never leaving her voice.

“About a week now,” I say looking at Tyler.

“Aww how sweet!” Monica says gushing. “Which one asked the other out?”

“I bet it was Josh! Wasn’t it!” Nicole says happily.

“Yes it was me,” I say smiling.

Tyler erupts into the biggest smile, I do too as I think about the time at the waterfall.

“Ahhh I knew it! So how did you do it? How did you ask him? Did you do something special?!” Nicole asks excitedly

“He took me someplace special and asked me,” Tyler said happily with the biggest smile on his face.

A chorus of “awws” come from the five girls at the table.

“That’s so sweet, I wish my boyfriend took me somewhere special to ask me out. He asked me out in the hallway next to my locker,” Hayley says.

“Hey at least you have a boyfriend,” Monica says and laughs.

The girls start breaking out into conversations and I continue to look at Tyler. His hand is still in mine under the table, but he still looks uncomfortable to have Jenna constantly touching him.

Jenna, in whatever it is she’s trying to accomplish, finishes Tyler’s hair and moves downwards. She tries to pull up the sleeve on Tyler’s arm, the one with the big scar on it. Tyler pulls his arm away from her and looks wide eyed.

The other girls at the table don’t even notice, they continue their conversations.

Jenna looks shocked. “Tyler what’s the matter?” She asks confused.

“Nothing, I just don’t want to take my jacket off,” Tyler says shyly, pulling down on his sleeve.

In order to stop things from getting even more uncomfortable than they already are, I jump in.

“So Jenna, how do you and Tyler know each other?” I ask politely, drawing her attention away from Tyler’s sleeve.

“Oh! Tyler and I dated a few months ago!” She says the cheeriness back in her voice.

I feel my chest start to shrink in.

_ They dated? Why didn’t he tell me? He never told me he had a girlfriend before. I mean granted we never talked about it but still he never said anything about her. _

I can feel my jealousy start to rise.

I look over at Tyler, his eyes are closed and a pained expression crosses over his face.

I realize now that maybe the reason he never talked about her was because something bad had happened.

I decide to let it go for now but I will definitely ask Tyler about it later.

“Oh, cool.” I say indifferently.

I give Tyler’s hand a comforting squeeze and he opens his eyes.

I smile at him but I can tell the curiosity is strong in my eyes. I can’t help it, I’m a curious person, but I’ll save my curiosity for when it’s just me and Tyler alone without Jenna.

“Yeah! We only dated for a few weeks, but it didn’t work out. I’m so glad that Tyler found you Josh, I can tell you make him happy!” Jenna says excitedly.

Tyler smiles a huge smile again.

I squeeze Tyler’s hand again under the table and smile at him.

Jenna joins into the conversation the rest of the girls are having and I look at Tyler. “Do you think they’ll notice if we leave,” I whisper to him.

“I think so, plus…” he whispers and looks down at where his arm is still being held hostage by Jenna. “Never again,” Tyler whispers.

“Agreed.” 

We are never sitting with them again. I prefer our lunches with Mr. Stump. Those lunches are actually fun and enjoyable. This is just torture. I can’t sit next to Tyler, I have to struggle to hold his hand, he’s super uncomfortable because of Jenna which in turn makes me uncomfortable and edgy, and these girls are pretty annoying, no one is ever that happy and cheerful.

The bell rings and Tyler and I jump out of our seats super quickly. Tyler slides his arm out of Jenna’s and I quickly walk over to his side.

“Um thanks for lunch and letting us sit with you,” Tyler says shyly.

I nod at the girls and then we leave the lunchroom as fast as we can, holding hands.

“That was awful,” I say when I know we’re far enough away.

“Yeah I’m sorry about that. I was wary to go sit with them, but I didn’t think it’d be  _ that  _ bad. I’m sorry I never told you about Jenna…I know your curiosity is probably eating you alive…I’ll tell you about it later,” he says looking down at the ground.

My curiosity was bubbling fast, but once he said that it began to be less forceful. I can wait a few periods to hear about it, plus it must be hard for him. Or maybe he just didn’t think it was worth sharing. I never told him about my one-week girlfriend, Debby, either. Maybe it just wasn’t worth talking about. Because those people never made us happy, but being with each other does and maybe that’s all that matters.

Although I still want to know what happened. My curiosity is a force that won’t go away no matter how much logic I throw at it.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As we walk to the bleachers I can feel my curiosity rising again and I want to know so badly.

We take our usual seats against the poles.

I start fidgeting with my fingers in the way I always do when I’m super curious.

Tyler seems to notice because he gives me a cute little grin before laying his head back and closing his eyes.

“I think I’m going to take a nap,” he says, a sly grin passes over his face.

“Come on dude, you can’t leave me hanging.” 

Tyler smiles wider now. “I don’t know I’m feeling pretty tired, maybe we should wait until we get to your house.”

“Come on, I know what you’re doing. You know how curious I get,” I say pleading and smiling a little, but my curiosity is killing me.

“Okay, okay I’ll tell you, but I have to warn you it’s really nothing special,” he says sitting up and opening his eyes.

I sit waiting for him to speak

“Jenna asked me out a few months ago. She’s friends with one of my old friends who is on the football team so we hung out a lot as a group. So she asked me out and we dated for a few weeks, but it didn’t feel right. It was so unspecial and something felt off. I never understood why she asked me out. I mean I had friends but I was never popular or anything and she’s part of the popular group. She was super clingy when we started dating, especially in school. She used to keep her hand in the back pocket of my jeans and would kiss me all the time at school. And not like normal peck kisses either, like the real ones, in front of everyone; it used to make me really uncomfortable. She never left me alone and would constantly try and make me drink. When we were at parties she used to try and get me drunk so that she could use me more than she already was. It didn’t feel right and so I never drank what she gave me, or at all. It turns out she was only dating me to make her ex-boyfriend jealous, who just happened to be Monroe, and was trying to get me drunk so that we could have sex and make him super mad. Finally one day Monroe had enough of Jenna flaunting me around and dating me and Monroe and I got into a fight….which I obviously lost….so yeah that’s why he hates me more than other people….and Jenna and I broke up and she is currently dating Monroe again. And then a few weeks later The Incident happened so people forgot about the whole thing with Jenna and I….” Tyler looks down at his hands, “so yeah that’s the story. But at least it has a happy ending now because I have you,” he says looking up and meeting my eyes. He gives me a weak smile and pulls down on the sleeves of his jacket. I hold his hand and kiss him on the cheek.

“You make me very happy too, and I will keep making you happy forever Tyler Joseph,” I say kissing him on the lips. I can feel him smile against my lips as the kiss ends.

“I love you Josh Dun, and because I love you I have a surprise for you tomorrow. Well two surprises actually. I’ve been waiting for the right time and I think tomorrow on our adventure will be a perfect time,” he says excited.

“I love you too Tyler. What’s the surprise?!” I ask just as excited.

“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you,” he says and laughs. “Plus you’re keeping the place we’re going to a surprise so I should be able to have a surprise too,” Tyler says beaming.

“You know you’re really adorable?” I say marveling

He laughs his cute little laugh and blushes “You know flattery won’t make me give away the surprise,” he teases.

I laugh too “I was just stating the truth again,” I say and lean over and give him the biggest most passionate kiss.

_ Tyler is the love of my life _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I made up for not posting with the super long chapter   
> I apologize for not posting  
> I will still be posting the next chapter when I get home from school today 
> 
> It's been one month since my first TØP concert and I miss them so much. It was honestly the best night of my life and I will never forget it.


	20. TGIFCFWABBTSCSAMSD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler and Josh hang out after school and things get hot.   
> Will they be caught in the act or be able to make it out of there in time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry. School is so crazy right now I haven't had a chance to post the new chapter.   
> But without further ado, I present to you Tyler

**Tyler’s Point of View**

Josh and I walk home from school holding hands

My stomach does nervous/happy flutters as I think about my surprise for Josh tomorrow and about our adventure in general

I am so excited for our adventure tomorrow I can hardly wait

Tomorrow is going to be so perfect, I can just tell. And I want to make the day even more special by surprising Josh at whatever location we end up going to

I love Josh so much and I want to share it with him tomorrow. He makes me so happy and makes me feel safe and loved. He’s been helping me so much against Blurry too. Blurry has been coming less frequently and not staying for very long, He only came once today and that was during lunch. He was whispering His harmful words to me during lunch but left as soon as Josh held my hand.

I feel bad about lunch today. Josh shouldn’t have had to sit through that awful lunch and he didn’t deserve to find out about how Jenna and I “dated” like that. Plus I could tell their constant perkiness was starting to annoy him, it  _ is _ pretty annoying. I should have said no to eating lunch with Jenna. It was a total disaster. She made me so uncomfortable especially when she almost pulled up my sleeve.

We walk into Josh’s house and I plop down into my seat on the couch. Josh goes and gets us two RedBulls and I search for a movie to watch.

When Josh sits down on the couch I lean back against him and he wraps me in his strong arms.

I kiss his arm and snuggle into him.

Josh wanted to watch a horror movie again, so I let him.

This time I decide to watch the movie instead of letting my mind wander like it did last night. I hide my face into Josh’s side when the scary parts happen. Josh just chuckles and kisses the top of my head when I do.

After the movie is over and I’m freaked out, we decide to watch a romance movie. Something cheesy and corny.

Josh holds my hand with the one arm he still has wrapped around me and plays with my hair with the other.

It feels so good when he plays with my hair, not like when Jenna was messing with it today.

He twirls a strand around his finger and I smile

I’m still leaning against Josh and he still has one strong arm wrapped around me.

I feel so safe and loved right now, as if time is frozen and everything is right in the world.

Even though I’m still pretty freaked out over the movie, being in Josh’s arms makes me feel better and safe.

The romance movie isn’t anything spectacular, it’s the same as every other romance movie, but yet it still makes both of us so happy about our relationship together

Eventually we stopped watching the movie and just made out.

Josh has one hand in my hair still and I have one in his now. The kiss is so passionate and hot.

Josh starts kissing down my neck and I let go of his hair. I shudder from pleasure as he makes his way down.

Josh lays me on my back and rolls on top of me.

He pulls off my shirt and begins kissing all over my chest.

I pull his shirt off over his head and toss it on the ground.

I marvel at his beautiful tattoo and body as he kisses my chest, biting in certain spots and licking others.

I moan from pleasure at the bites and put my hand on Josh’s arm to steady myself

Josh sits back up and begins taking off my pants. He stops momentarily and I nod. I unbuckle his pants and he throws mine on the floor. Josh almost gets his pants off when we both jump.

A car door slamming closed outside knocked us out of our daze; it’s Josh’s mom home from work.

Josh quickly gets off of me and runs to get his shirt.

I quickly get off the couch standing there in only in my underwear.

We both grab our clothes scattered across the room and run as fast as we can upstairs

Josh slams the door and locks it behind him

As soon as the door closes we hear the front door open and Josh’s mom come in

“Phew that was close!” I say as I plop down on the bed

I don’t feel like getting dressed in hopes that we will continue and drop my clothes on the floor next to the bed.

“Yes I know, how awkward would that be if she walked in and saw us both on the couch in our underwear or naked!” He says and laughs

“I would be so embarrassed I don’t think I’d be able to face your mom again,” I say laughing.

Josh drops his clothes on the floor too and lays down next to me in bed

He lightly traces random lines and shapes on my face with his finger and says “so where were we…” He smirks his cute naughty grin, I smile back and kiss him on the lips, resuming us right where we left off

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Josh and I fell asleep breathless and holding hands under the covers

I’m startled awake by a knocking on Josh’s bedroom door

“Boys?” A faint voice calls out. It’s Josh’s mom

“Hi Mrs. Dun!” I say cheerfully, trying not to let the sleep show in my voice

“Hi Tyler, sweetheart, I just wanted to let you know that dinner is ready,” she says happily from the other side of the door

“Okay we’ll be right down!” I call back

I look down at Josh, he looks so peaceful in his sleep and I want to let him keep sleeping. But then I remember that his parents are waiting for us downstairs

Josh is a very heavy sleeper and I don’t have much time to nicely wake him up

I elbow Josh in the side, light enough to not hurt him but hard enough to wake him up.

Josh opens his eyes and gasps “What’s the matter?” He says shocked and frightened

I smile sweetly at him and he calms down and lays back against the pillow.

He grabs my hand and laces his fingers with mine.

“I didn’t want to wake you because you look so peaceful, but dinner’s ready and your parents are waiting for us,” I say.

“Aww man I want to stay here with you and your adorable bed head forever,” he says and kisses the back of my hand

I self-consciously run my fingers through my hair and blush.

Josh laughs at me.

I lean over and kiss his nose. “I wish I could stay in bed with you forever too, but your mom already came up and knocked on the door,” I say.

We get up and change back into our clothes. Josh and I fix each other’s hair so that it doesn’t look like we were sleeping and walk downstairs holding hands

Josh’s parents don’t mind that we hold hands at the table or in front of them, they think it’s cute and are happy that Josh and I are happy.

I’m happy that Josh is happy too, I love him so much and I don’t know what I would do without him.

Josh’s parents eagerly ask us about our day when we sit down at the table.

His parents are so nice, I feel like I’m a part of Josh’s family. I feel so welcome and loved, more so than I do at my actual home.

I am so grateful for them caring about me and for being so accepting of Josh and I.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After dinner, Josh and I went back to his room and watched a movie

I ended up leaving his house at 11.

I run up to my room and begin to pack for our adventure tomorrow.

I’m so excited I can hardly wait.

I pack a blanket to sit on, a bathing suit (just in case Josh decides to spring a surprise swim again), an extra pair of clothes, and my notebook. I run downstairs and grab all the snacks I can carry and pack them in the bag.

I look down and inspect the contents of my bag, making sure I didn’t forget anything

_ Just one last thing _

I walk over to my closet and begin to search.

_ Where is it? Where is it? I know I left it in here. It’s got to be in here _

Finally behind a pile of clothes I found it.

It’s just as beautiful as I remember

I smile as I pack it into my bag

_ I can’t wait to show Josh tomorrow  _ I think as I climb into bed and fall asleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the short chapter and not updating. I am such a mess with school and everything.   
> On the bright side I was bored during class today and so I wrote 6 pages of a new fic...I have way too many unfinished fics. I really have to finish them   
> But regardless I started yet another new fic. Except I made great progress with this one and I'm a third done.


	21. Down in the Forest We'll Sing a Chorus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh and Tyler go on another adventure and this one is even cuter than the last  
> But will their perfect day end well?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. There are sadly only a few more chapters of this fic left. There are 28 chapters in all and don't forget there are 2 endings  
> Enjoy this super long chapter of Josh and Tyler's next adventure

**Josh’s Point of View**

I wake up early and make sure everything is packed for our adventure today.

Everything has to be perfect. It has to be perfect for Tyler.

He needs this trip and so do I

I can’t wait to spend the day on an adventure with him.

I study the directions one last time to guarantee I know where to go and won’t get lost.

After reading over everything and checking my bag for the 20 th time that morning I look over at the clock

_ Crap! It’s 8:20 already! _

I run downstairs and say goodbye to my parents

“Bye Joshie, have a great time and be safe!” My mom says as she gives me a hug

“I will! I love you both,” I say.

I walk out the door and put my bag in the trunk.

As I’m about to close the trunk I feel someone crash into me and tiny arms wrap around my waist.

I feel Tyler’s familiar frame pressed up against me and I hear an excited squeal

“Good morning! I’m so excited!” He says.

I turn around to see him with a huge smile on my face.

As soon as I turn around he gives me a big kiss

“Good morning to you too,” I say and laugh.

“Sorry, I’m just so excited!” He says almost bouncing in place.

“Me too! Today is going to be perfect! Everything has been planned and researched and it is going to be amazing!”

Tyler puts his bag in the trunk and never loses the huge smile that’s spread across and practically plastered to his face.

I watch Tyler get into the front of the car. He’s wearing a nice red T-shirt and black pants. The T-shirt fits his adorable frame perfectly and accentuates his cute little curves.

“You coming Josh?!” He calls from the front seat

I walk over to the driver’s side and get in

Tyler is sitting in the seat beaming.

I remember that he is supposed to have a surprise for me today and I smile even more than I was before.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The drive is a little over an hour and Tyler and I talk the entire time. We keep the radio on in the background and occasionally bust out singing when we hear a song we like

Tyler’s voice is so perfect, so cute. I could listen to him sing all day.

Finally we get to the place. I pull into the lot and turn off the car

Tyler is still beaming and trying to figure out what we’re doing

“Come on!” I say happily and get out of the car.

We both grab our bags from the trunk and walk into the forest.

We begin walking for a while and Tyler and I talk the whole time.

Finally I start laughing and take off in a run. Tyler runs after me laughing hysterically.

“Dude are we hiking?!” He calls after me

“Yeah I think so!” I call back still laughing

“Dude this is sick!” He cries out laughing.

His cute sunglasses bobbing up and down as he runs

“So sick!” I call back and jump in the air from excitement.

Tyler begins running even faster and catches up to me

“Josh where are we going?”

“You’ll see!” I say smiling.

We run for a little bit longer and finally enter into a clearing.

My breath catches as we step out of the forest and into the clearing

It’s even more beautiful than in the pictures.

There’s a small river surrounded by beautiful green grass and a single tree over-looking the river. Inside the tree is a treehouse. Perfectly made and huge in the lonely tree.

I hear Tyler gasp next to me “It’s beautiful,” he says marveling at the sight and beauty of the place

It feels so serene here, I could stay here forever.

“Come on,” I say and take Tyler by the hand.

I pull him towards the treehouse and begin to climb it.

Tyler follows after me

I get to the top and make room for Tyler to get up on the balcony.

The treehouse is so beautifully made. It has a huge outside area with a wooden railing so that you can sit outside the treehouse and look out at the river. The inside of the house is just as nice, the walls are perfectly made, without a single scratch. There is a wooden chair in the corner and a cute little handmade wooden table. I put my bag inside the treehouse and take out a blanket. Tyler follows me inside and puts his bag down.

We both walk out and I lay the blanket down on the wood.

We sit down on the blanket and have our legs hanging out over the side of the wooden patio hanging in the air.

I hold Tyler’s hand and look down at the river below us. It looks so beautiful.

You can see pretty little flowers blooming near the river’s edge and the crystal clear water sparkles from the sun.

It is breathtaking

“It is so beautiful here,” Tyler says marveling.

“It really is,” I say and smile.

I lean over and kiss Tyler on the cheek and his face turns a cute shade of red.

We sit and marvel at the scene for a while, letting the beauty and serenity wash over us and feeling the warm rays from the sun on us.

I don’t know how long we were sitting there for. Time seems to just stand still in this beautiful clearing.

“Hey Josh?” Tyler asks meekly

“Yes Tyler?” I reply

“So remember when I showed you my book and you said if I ever wrote anymore you’d want to read it?”

“Yeah!” I say happily.

“Well I have a surprise for you!” He says giddily and gets up. He walks into the treehouse.

“Josh! Take the blanket and go sit down in the grass somewhere. I want it to be a surprise,” he says from inside the treehouse.

I get up, grab the blanket, and climb down the ladder.

I pick a nice spot near the river’s edge with a bunch of beautiful flowers near it.

A few minutes later I hear Tyler from behind me. “Close your eyes!” He says happily.

I do. I hear him walk in front of me and place something down on the blanket.

“Okay open!” He says

I open my eyes and see Tyler in a beautiful floral kimono. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and he looks stunning. The way it flows off of his body and accentuates his adorable features is breathtaking and so hot. He also exchanged his black sunglasses for cute little white ones.

I smile so hugely at him “you look so amazing!” He takes my breath away, I’ve never seen someone more beautiful.

I don’t want to take my eyes off of him but for a moment I do and I see a tiny green keyboard on the blanket in front of me. And in front of that is his black notebook.

Tyler blushes and sits down behind the tiny keyboard.

“I wrote this song for you. Actually I wrote two songs for you. This first one is called Tear in My Heart,” he says nervously.

My face lights up “You wrote songs for me?!” I asked, touched.

He nods at me and smiles the biggest smile.

_ I can’t believe he wrote songs for me! He’s so amazing! What did I do to deserve him?! _

Tyler clears his throat and looks down at the keyboard.

He strikes the first key

“An-nyŏng-ha-se-yo. Sometimes you gotta bleed to know, that you’re alive and have a soul…”

Tyler sings and it’s so beautiful. His voice, the chords, everything, they’re mesmerizing. With each note I feel the feeling I felt when I first fell in love with Tyler.

His voice is so captivating and it’s the only thing I can hear, it’s like it is the only sound in the entire world. I can hear his beautiful voice throughout my whole being. It fills every corner of myself and surrounds me in its sweetness.

The lyrics are so heartfelt and beautiful too.

“…then I’ve ever been.”

Tyler looks cautiously up from the keyboard. “So what did you think?” He asks nervously

“It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard, I can’t believe you wrote that for me, I love it!” I say happier than I’ve ever been.

I reach over and give him a huge hug and kiss. “That was the most beautiful thing anyone’s ever done for me. Thank you! Your voice is amazing too, you’re a really great singer and songwriter. You have a real gift.”

Ty ler blushes and his cheeks are bright red, almost as red as my hair.

“I’m so glad you like it! I wrote one more for you too, if you want to hear it…” he looks away nervously again

“Of course I want to hear it, if it’s anything like the last one it will be the greatest song in the world tied with Tear in My Heart of course.”

Tyler giggles. “Okay this one is called We Don’t Believe What’s on TV…”

Tyler starts playing the keys “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! We don’t believe what’s on TV, because it’s what we want to see…”

I listen intently to the song and his beautiful words. I wish there were more words I could use to describe his amazing voice and lyrics and what they mean to me. They are so special and breathtaking.

“I don’t care what’s in your hair, I just want to know what’s on your mind”

I chuckle a little when he sings that and reach absentmindedly to my hair and smile.

When Tyler’s done I give him a huge round of applause and a standing ovation.

“Tyler Joseph you are the most amazing singer I have ever heard. I mean it. Your lyrics and your style of music is breathtaking, I love it so much!”

Tyler beams from happiness. “I’m glad you liked it. You’re the first person I’ve ever played my music for and I was nervous to show these to you because I didn’t think they were that good…”

“Are you kidding?! They’re amazing! You’re better than all my favorite bands combined!”

I sit back down on the blanket and kiss him on the lips again

“Thank you for writing those for me. I love them so much!”

“You’re welcome. Thank you for taking me today and for being with me, you make me so happy”

“You make me so happy too Tyler Joseph” I say. I kiss him again “By the way you look so stunning in that kimono”

He giggles again. “I have some more songs if you want to hear them? They’re not about you though,” he chuckles

“Yes I would love to hear them all!”

He lights up “Yay, we can sing in the forest songs that nobody wrote.”

“Hey that’s good, you should use that as a song lyric!” 

He opens his book and jots that down on the page

Tyler sings me a whole bunch of songs he wrote, each one better than the next; Addict with a Pen, Holding On To You, Glowing Eyes, Ode to Sleep, Fall Away, and Goner are just some of the songs Tyler sang to me. During Addict with a Pen I close my eyes, letting it transport me and fill me with its sweet sound and powerful message. During Glowing Eyes, Tyler gave me his book so I could sing along with him.

Tyler sang all his songs and filled the clearing with his beautiful voice and music.

All of his songs are so well done it sounds like a professional wrote them.

Each song holds so much meaning and emotion. I let each one fill me and transport me.

Towards the end I lay on my back and watch the sky as the sweet sounding music fills me and warms me even more than the sun.

When Tyler finishes all of his music. He lays down next to me, resting his head against my chest so that we are perpendicular to each other, and stares up at the sky.

“They were beautiful! Truly incredible!” I say serenely. “Each one has so much meaning and emotion. I love them. Each one transported me away and made me feel so good inside.”

“Aww thank you! I’m so glad you liked them. I like using music to help me through tough times and I’m glad you could use the music a little too.” He says smiling.

We lay there for a while. Staring up at the clouds and listening to the sounds of nature.

“Hey do you ever realize that if you squint your eyes that your eyelashes make everything look not so right?” Tyler asks squinting at the sky

I squint my eyes a little “Huh, yeah you’re right, I never realized that. That’s so weird.”

After a while we both get really hungry.

We climb back up the treehouse and pull out all the food we both brought.

We spread out the blankets we brought out on the floor of the treehouse and ate our lunch. We made strange concoctions of foods and fed each other weird combinations.

Eventually we were both full and sat back out on the balcony.

Somehow we started kissing and making out.

We stumbled into the treehouse and fell down on the blankets on the floor.

I kiss Tyler all over his face and neck. I get down to his beautiful kimono and stop for a second.

Breathless, I say “I’m so torn between keeping on this beautiful kimono or taking it off and seeing your beautiful body.”

Tyler smiles and takes off the kimono and his shirt and throws them over by his bag in the corner. He then takes off my shirt and runs his hands up and down my chest.

I continue kissing all over his chest and arms. I can feel him shivering and getting goosebumps as I kiss his chest.

I take off his pants and he unbuttons mine.

I flip him on his back

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After we’re done we lay on the floor of the treehouse extremely sweaty.

Tyler falls asleep with his head on my chest. His cute little snores fill the treehouse.

I kiss the top of his head and whisper “Sweet dreams, lovely.”

He is so cute when he sleeps and he looks so peaceful. He looks so much younger when he sleeps too and I watch his chest rise and fall against my own.

I close my eyes for a second and wake up about an hour later.

Tyler wakes up at the same time I do.

He smiles up at me with his adorable smile and kisses the tip of my nose in the cute way he always does.

“Did you have a nice sleep beautiful?” I ask

“I did,” he says dreamily. “Did you?”

“Yes because I had you in my arms.” 

We decide to go swim in the river because we’re both still so sweaty.

Tyler pulls out a bathing suit from his bag and puts it on

“I came prepared this time,” he says giddily.

I laugh as he puts on his bathing suit. He goes and hides in the corner to change.

“Why are you hiding? I have seen you naked before…multiple times actually,” I say and grin at him.

Tyler puts on his bathing suit and turns around blushing

“I don’t know I still get pretty self-conscious,” he says trailing off

“Well I think you have a gorgeous body,” I say and kiss his cheek.

He blushes even deeper.

I lace my hand with his and we climb down the treehouse.

I did not bring a bathing suit and decided to just swim in my underwear again.

We get to the edge of the river and Tyler looks down cautiously. “How deep do you think it is?” He asks nervously

“It doesn’t look that deep, you can see the bottom,” I say giving his hand a squeeze. “Do you want me to go in first to test out the waters,” I ask

Tyler laughs at my awful pun, “Yes please.”

I step into the waist deep water and shiver a little from the cold. The water is so cold and refreshing on this hot day.

“Is it cold?” Tyler asks

“A little but it feels so nice.”

I reach my hand out to Tyler and he takes it. He steps out onto one of the giant rocks in the water so that he can gradually get in. But he loses his footing and falls into the water landing right on top of me. I fall back into the water and he lays on top of me.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry are you okay Josh?” Tyler asks panicked

All I can do is laugh. I’m not hurt at all it's just really funny.

Once Tyler realizes that I’m okay he starts to laugh too and we’re both just lying in the river laughing like maniacs.

We swim around for a while and talk, letting the cool water wash over us as the sun beams down on us.

Eventually we get out of the river because the sun is starting to set. We wrap our towels around us and go to sit on the blanket we left in the grass.

We lay down, Tyler’s head on my chest and stare up at the setting sun.

“It really is beautiful here,” Tyler says in awe

“I know, I never want to leave.”

We lay there watching the sun set. Once the sun is almost gone I sit up. “Hey do you want to build a fire? We could roast marshmallows and make smores!” I ask Tyler excitedly.

“Yes I love smores so much I haven’t had them in years!” Tyler says giddily.

We climb back up the treehouse and I pull out the ingredients I brought for smores. I also grab my lighter.

We go over to the little fire pit that someone built in the corner of the clearing. There’s a few tree stumps surrounding the pit and I place the ingredients on the stump.

Tyler and I collect some loose twigs and light the fire.

The immense heat engulf us in seconds and lights up the area.

We sit down on our log and take out the marshmallows.

We drape our towels over our shoulders and let the natural heat from the fire dry us off and warm us.

Tyler puts his marshmallow too close to the fire and it burst into flames. “Oh no!” He cries out and blows on the marshmallow to extinguish the fire.

I laugh as he struggles to put out the flame. “Here you can I have mine,” I say and hand him my marshmallow stick.

“Thank you,” he says gratefully. He makes his smore; two pieces of chocolate, one on each graham cracker with the marshmallow between them.

I roast another and make a smore as well.

We turn to each other and clink our smores together “to the greatest boyfriend and songwriter ever,” I say as I hit his smore.

“To the greatest boyfriend and sweetest guy ever,” he says back with a huge smile.

We stuff our faces with the smores and get chocolate everywhere.

Tyler somehow gets some on his nose.

I lean over and kiss his nose, taking all the chocolate with me.

He laughs and wipes at the sides of his mouth.

We continue roasting more marshmallows until the bag runs out, the whole time telling funny stories from our childhood.

Eventually the marshmallows are all gone and the fire is getting dimmer.

Tyler puts his head on my shoulder and looks into the dimming fire. “Today was really amazing. I love you so much.”

“I love you so much too. I’m glad you enjoyed it, we both needed this nice day to just get away together. And in the future hopefully we can take more adventures together all the time.”

“Yes, I would love that,” Tyler says peacefully.

In that moment everything was perfect. The perfect ending to a perfect day.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tyler and I stay sitting there, his head on my shoulder and my arm draped around him, watching the fire for a while.

We would have stayed there forever except it began to rain.

“Ahh,” Tyler says between laughs.

We get up and run to the treehouse, grabbing our things on the way up. When we get inside we are soaked again.

We put back on our clothes and pack up our bags.

As we look out of the treehouse we realize that the rain isn’t going to get any better and we’re going to have to run back to the car in the rain.

After everything is packed away and taken account for, we climb back down the ladder and run across the clearing.

Tyler is shrieking and laughing, extremely happy to be in the rain. His excitement is contagious and I start laughing as we run through the forest holding hands.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time we get in the car, the rain has gotten worse and it’s pouring now.

We buckle up and I begin to drive.

I turn on the radio as I turn onto the highway.

“Thank you for today,” Tyler says blushing, “it was really beautiful.”

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it,” I say smiling.

“I love you Josh,” Tyler says grinning his adorable smile.

“I love you too Tyler,” I say grinning just as much. I glance over at him quickly and see him pulling down on his sleeves in the cute way he does when he’s nervous. He has a huge smile on his face as he looks out the window.

I turn the radio up and struggle to see the road in front of us. The rain is coming down so hard and it is so dark.

All of a sudden I see a car speeding towards us. I try to swerve out of the way so it doesn’t hit us, but he follows and swerves right into us.

I feel a punch against my face and prickles down my side.

Then everything goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry to leave you on such a cliffhanger but whoops  
> I really love reading all your comments and hearing such great feedback I'm so glad you're all enjoying the fic  
> Also Tyler and Josh singing in the forest together is totally relationship goals and I'm actually really jealous of my own characters lol. And for those of you who were wondering Tyler was looking for the kimono in his closet. And did you catch the reference to one of their vines that's one of my favorites besides the "pretty cool" one 
> 
> Also side note I finished a few more pages of my new fic today in school because who needs to pay attention lol


	22. I'm No Good Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Tyler and Josh survive the horrible wreckage?  
> Who will live and who will die (if anyone)?   
> Find out now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. I hope you all enjoyed that wonderful cliffhanger I left you on. Again   
> Basically I like to leave you all on the edge of your seats so that you want to know what happens next   
> Chapter warnings:   
> -Hospitals   
> -Mentions of Blood  
> -Mentions of needles (IV at the hospital)

**Tyler’s Point of View**

“I love you too Tyler.” He says and I can feel myself blush so much.

I look out the passenger window, happier than I’ve ever been in my life.

The rain starts coming down harder.

All of sudden the car swerves and someone hits us. Right on Josh’s side.

The airbag hits me in the face and I feel the burns starting to form.

Glass shatters everywhere. I break the airbag and look over at Josh.

“JOSH,” I scream.

His face is all bloody and there’s glass all around him.

I break his airbag and call 911.

“Hello, I need help we were in an accident, someone hit us, the driver is unconscious, PLEASE HURRY!” I say frantically.

“Stay calm the ambulance is on its way,” the lady says but I don’t hear her I’m too busy worrying about Josh.

“Josh, Josh, Josh please stay with me,” I say crying

I lean over and feel that he still has a pulse. A little one but still something.

Not even a minute later the ambulances arrive.

I feel someone pulling me out of the car.

“NO DON’T TAKE ME AWAY FROM JOSH. SAVE JOSH FIRST. JOSH,” I say struggling against the two men trying to pull me out.

I see two more men trying to get Josh out.

“JOSH, NO. SAVE JOSH.”

The men never let go of me, despite how much I struggle against them.

“SAVE JOSH. HELP HIM HE’S UNCONSCIOUS. SAVE HIM,” I cry as the men get me out of the car.

“It’s okay son. They’re getting him out right now, but we need you to calm down.”

“NO. JOSH!” I call out to Josh, still struggling against the two men.

“He’s going to be okay. We’re taking him and you to the hospital right now.”

“LET ME GO WITH JOSH I NEED TO BE WITH JOSH,” I scream and try to pull away.

“You’re going to go in a separate ambulance, but you’re going to the same hospital. You need to get your injuries taken care of.” The man says trying to calm me down and put me on the stretcher.

But I can’t calm down.

My best friend and boyfriend is over there. I need to be with him.

I try harder to get away but the men are too strong.

All of a sudden I feel a slight pinch and everything goes black.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wake up being wheeled into the emergency room on a stretcher.

Nurses and doctors are all around me…and my mom?

I spring awake “WHERE’S JOSH!” I scream and try to get up, but I’m strapped down.

“It’s okay Sweetheart,” my mom says, “They’re bringing him into surgery right now.”

“I WANT TO SEE HIM,” I cry as they wheel me into a room down the hall.

“Tyler, honey, you can see him later. His parents are with him right now as they prep him for surgery. You need to get your own injuries taken care of.”

My heart stops and aches for Josh.

_ What if he doesn’t make it? I don’t want to be in a world without him. I need to see him. _

“Joshhhhhh,” I whimper.

My mom grabs my hand as they place me on the bed. I wince.

I realize I have more injuries than I thought. But I don’t care I need to see Josh.

The nurse sticks an IV into my arm and I wince again. I hate needles.

The doctor comes in and starts talking to my mom as the nurses start cleaning my wounds. I don’t listen I’m too busy worrying about Josh.

After countless stitches, x rays, and bandages the nurses and doctors finally leave and it’s just my mom and I.

I have a few broken ribs, a fractured wrist which now has a cast on it, some burns on my face and hands from the airbag, and a lot of cuts from the broken glass.

“Your father should be here any minute. He was on the night shift today at the precinct.”

I nod and look out the window from my bed.

“It’s a good thing you called the ambulance when you did, Josh lost a lot of blood, but the doctor said he should be okay once he gets out of surgery.”

I shudder when she says that. “Should be?” I croak.

“Sweetie, it’s going to be okay. Josh is a strong boy. You both are. He’s going to be fine.”

As my mom says that my dad comes rushing in, still in his cop uniform.

“Tyler! Are you okay?” he says as he comes rushing over to the bed.

He leans down and clasps one of my hands.

“Oh son I was so worried. I heard the call over the radio and rushed over here as fast as I could. The driver that hit you was drunk way over the legal limit and swerved over the lanes.”

I start to cry again. “Josh,” I say again through the tears. I can hear my mom crying behind my dad.

“I know son. I know he means a lot to you. He means a lot to us too and I’m glad you too have each other. He’s going to be okay.”

“You two know?” I ask through the tears.

“Of course we know, Tyler. We’ve known you and Josh have been dating for a while now. You’ve been so happy lately and the way you two look at each other, it was obvious.” My mom says and smiles.

“…and you’re okay with it?” I ask nervously.

“Of course we are,” my dad says and I’m shocked. “He makes you happy and that’s all we’ve ever wanted for you, Tyler. Plus Josh is a good kid and he treats you right.”

I’m shocked that my parents are okay with it. I was scared they wouldn’t be.

They aren’t the most open-minded people.

“We’re glad you found someone like Josh,” my mom says and grabs my dad’s shoulder lovingly.

And in that moment everything was right in my family. There was no more secrets, no more pain. Just acceptance and love, the way it should be.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About an hour later the doctor comes in and says that Josh is out of surgery. “The surgery went well. We’re just waiting for him to wake up now. He’s going to need to rest for a few days, the surgery was a lot on him. We removed all the broken glass and fixed a few nerves that got damaged.”

I jump up “Can I go see him?!” I say eagerly.

“Sure. He’s in the ICU.”

My stomach drops. They only put really bad cases in there. “The ICU? Is he going to be okay?”

“Yes but he just underwent an intense surgery, we need to keep him under our observation for a while.”

The Doctor comes over and removes my IV. “Be careful you’re still going to be sore for a while, you have a few broken ribs and a fractured wrist.”

I stand up shakily. “I’ll be okay. Thank you.”

My parents stand up with me. I run out of the room to the elevator, ignoring the splitting pain coming from my ribs.

“Tyler wait up!” My mom screams as they run after me.

I get into the elevator and they come in with me.

The elevator is too slow.

_ Come on Come on hurry up! _

I tap my foot nervously as the elevator goes up.

The elevator doors open and I run out.

“Tyler!” I hear from across the room. It’s Josh’s mom. “Tyler sweetheart, I’m glad you’re okay,” she says as she comes running over to me. She gives me a hug and I groan. “Sorry,” she says.

“Sorry some of my ribs are broken. How’s Josh?” I say, I can see she’s been crying. I put my hand on her shoulder.

“He’s okay. The surgery went well. He hasn’t woken up yet. I was just about to go back in. Do you want to come?”

“Yes please,” I say eager to go in and see him.

We walk into the ICU. It takes all my effort to not run in front of his mom and into the room.

“I have to warn you…there’s a lot of tubes…and he has a lot of bandages…”

She motions at the room and I stand in the doorway.

My breath catches. He looks so small surrounded by all the tubes and machines.

I walk carefully to the side of the bed and take his hand as I sit in the seat next to the bed.

“Oh Josh,” I say as I begin to cry. “I’m so sorry.”

Mrs. Dun comes over and puts her hand on my shoulder “Tyler, it’s not your fault, you saved his life by calling the ambulance.”

I don’t even turn around. I can’t take my eyes off of Josh.

“Josh is lucky to have you as a friend and boyfriend. You’re a great kid and you make him very happy.” Silence for a few more moments “I’ll leave you two alone together.”

“Thank you,” I say.

When she walks away I begin to talk to him “Josh I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. We wouldn’t have gone on this trip if it wasn’t for me. I need you man. I can’t survive this world without you. You’ve taught me what it’s like to live again. There’s been so much darkness in my life, you are my light. You brighten the darkness and cast away the shadows. You make me a better person and make me want to see another sunrise. I love you Josh Dun. Please don’t leave me.” I feel a light pull of his fingers in my hand. I stare at his face looking for any movement “Can you hear me Josh?” His fingers flutter again in my hand. I lean down despite the pain in my ribs and kiss his hand.

And in that moment I could swear I saw him smirk. And I knew everything would be alright.

We stay like that for hours. I hold his hand and sit next to him. His parents come in and out of the room, but it’s too hard for them to see him like this.

I watch him sleep. Despite all the tubes he looks so peaceful. His bright red hair is all messy and he has bandages all over his face, neck, and arms. He has a cast on his left arm, red to match his hair.

I lean over to fix his hair. Putting it back into its normal shape. I lean back into my seat.

He coughs, “Tyler?”

“Josh! I’m here I’m right here.”

“Am I dead?” He asks, his throat dry and his voice coarse.

I start to cry again. “No you’re okay. You’re okay.”

He squeezes my hand “I love you Tyler Joseph.”

“I love you Joshua Dun.”

He laughs and then coughs “you used my full first name,” he smirks.

“Your parents have been in here but they left to give us some privacy.”

His grin gets bigger and he coughs again. “Too bad I’m so beat up, we could have had some fun in a hospital bed.” He winks at me and I can’t help smiling a huge smile.

I laugh and grab at my ribs and wince, it hurts to laugh, but I never let go of his soft hand.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah I have a few broken ribs, but I’ll survive.”

“Hey am I seeing things or is my cast red?” He says chuckling.

“Yup,” I say lightly chuckling, “to match that beautiful mop you call hair.” 

He chuckles a little bit “must be some sort of Doctor Joke,” he grins.

He starts coughing and turns his head away from me. He pukes off the side of the bed and when he turns back he has blood coming out of his mouth.

“NURSE! I NEED A NURSE IN HERE,” I scream.

He starts coughing again and more blood comes out of his mouth.

The nurses grab me away from Josh and start doing things to him to try and make the bleeding stop.

“Josh!” I say as I’m being dragged out of the room.

“Tyler” cough “don’t” cough “go”

I try to stay but I’m being pulled out. I hear the nurse say “I’m sorry son he has to go.”

I get dragged out of the ICU and the nurse leads me to a chair.

I’m shaking now.

“No! I need to go back in!” I try to run around the nurse, but she’s too quick.

“No we need you to stay out here.”

Josh’s parents and my parents come over to me.

“Tyler what’s going on?” Josh’s mom asks me. She turns to the nurse “is Josh okay?”

I sit down in the waiting room chair and put my face in my hands.

The nurse says to Josh’s mom “your son started coughing up blood. We’re most likely going to have to do another surgery to stop the internal bleeding.”

All four parents gasp. Josh’s dad starts hugging Josh’s mom and my parents come and sit down next to me. They put their arms around me, careful to not touch any of my injuries.

I can’t stop myself from crying.

The doctor comes out a few minutes later and tells us that Josh will definitely need surgery and this one is going to be a long one. He also tells me to go back down to my hospital room so they can do a quick checkup.

My parents and I walk downstairs and a few nurses come in to do a checkup. They prescribe a medication to help with the pain in my ribs and give me some cream to put on my burns.

They tell us that we can have the room for the night, while we wait for Josh.

“There’s no way I’m leaving this hospital until Josh gets out of surgery,” I tell my parents.

They look at each other and agree. They tell me to take a nap in the hospital bed while we wait.

“Tyler you’ve had a long day, you need to get some rest,” my mom says.

“Yes Tyler, take a nap. I’ll go upstairs and sit with Josh’s parents. As soon as I hear anything I’ll call your mom’s cell phone,” my dad says.

I agree and try to go to sleep. But I can’t sleep. I’m too worried about Josh.

My mom sits on the comfy chair they have in the room and puts her feet up.

“Mom?” I ask from the bed. 

“Yes Tyler?” my mom replies sleepily.

“Do you think Josh will be okay?” I ask pulling down on the sleeves of my hoodie.

“Yes I do. He’s a strong boy, he can make it out.”

“I saw it happen mom…the blood…It just came pouring out of his mouth. He was fine one minute we were talking and then all of a sudden he just starts…bleeding…”

“Oh Tyler, honey,” my mom says as she gets up and pulls her chair over to the bed. She gives me a soft hug so that she doesn’t hurt my ribs and I cry into her shirt.

“Why does this have to happen? Why do people drive drunk? Why mom why? Josh is a great guy he doesn’t deserve this,” I say sobbing.

“I know, life is unfair. Unfortunately in life bad things happen to good people and there’s nothing we can do about it. All we can do is help the good people get through it. You being here for Josh is helping him. And you’ll be there for Josh the entire time he is recovering. All we can do now is wait for him to get out of surgery.”

“What if he doesn’t make it out? What will I do without him?”

“He will make it out, I know he will.”

Eventually I stop crying and lie down on the bed again.

I drift off to sleep, as I think of Josh. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_ Josh and I are in the car again. _

_ I look out the window watching the scenery go by and staring up at the stars shrouded by the rain. _

_ “I love you Tyler Joseph” Josh says and he reaches over and grabs my hand. _

_ “I love you too,” I say smiling. _

_ I turn and look over at Josh _

_ My breath catches and I scream. _

_ Josh has blood dripping out of his mouth and eyes as he stares at me. _

_ “What’s the matter love?” he says staring at me unaware of the blood. _

_ The blood comes rushing out of him and lands all over my hands and leg. _

_ Josh stopped paying attention to the road and all of a sudden I see a car coming right towards us out Josh’s window. _

“JOSHHHH” I scream as I sit up in bed covered in sweat.

It takes me a minute to realize I’m in the hospital and another to slow my breathing down and stop my shaking.

My mom comes running over to me.

“Tyler, sweetie, are you okay?”

I start crying and I can’t even speak. My mom wraps me in a tight hug once I start shaking, careful not to press against my injuries.

“It’s okay sweetheart, he’ll be okay.”

“But what if he’s not mom? What am I going to do without him?” I say between sobs.

“Let’s not think like that Tyler. Josh is a strong boy he will be okay.” My mom says rubbing circles on my back.

“I had a nightmare…about the crash…Josh…he was bleeding…and the car…it was coming towards us…and” I say between cries and stifled breaths.

My mom shushes me and holds me tighter in her arms. “Shh, shh, it’s okay. You’re okay you both are.”

_ Please don’t leave me Josh. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE CANCER COVER CAME OUT AND I AM SO SHOOKEND#  
> IT WAS SO GOOD MY EMO SOUL COULDNT HANDLE SUCH BEAUTY  
> I HAVEN'T STOPPED LISTENING TO IT 
> 
> Ah another cliffhanger. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please let me know what you think!


	23. The Sun Will Rise and We Will Try Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh finally wakes up from a grueling surgery and Tyler is right by his side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this cliffhanger lasted long enough  
> Here is the next chapter told by none other than.....JOSH!

**Josh’s Point of View**

I flicker open my eyes to a blinding light.

_ Am I dead? _

I close my eyes and moan.

I feel something on my arm and in my hand.

_ I can still feel my body so I must not be dead. _

I hear a faint voice, but it’s hard for me to hear. All I can hear is beeping.

I try opening my eyes again, preparing for the harsh light.

I blink and turn my head to the side to avoid the harsh glare of the light.

There’s machines surrounding me, each one with a different purpose, and each one with a different wire attached to my body.

I turn my head to the other side and see an angel. Tyler.

He’s holding my hand.

_ So that’s what was in my hand. _

I stare at him and take in his sight, still not remembering where I am.

Tyler is staring at me with so much love and with loving eyes. He’s clutching my hand for dear life, as if he’s drowning in the ocean and my hand is his life raft. He doesn’t squeeze too hard, but he holds onto it as if he never wants to let go, and I never want him to.

His eyes are bloodshot and his cheeks are heavily stained from crying.

One of his wrists has a cast on it and he has bandages over stitches all over him and that’s when I remember where I am.

The images of the car hitting us fly back into my mind and I close my eyes and groan.

“Josh?” Tyler asks. His voice is so small. He speaks so quietly, as if speaking too loud will make something bad happen.

I squeeze my fingers in his hand and reopen my eyes.

Tyler starts crying again.

“Oh Josh, I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried about you.” He says between tears.

“What happened?” I ask my voice sluggish. My tongue feels too big and heavy for my mouth and my throat is all dry.

“…You had to go back into surgery…and it was a long one. You’ve been out of surgery for about 3 hours now.” Tyler says cautiously between tears.

“Hey don’t cry beautiful. It’s okay. I’m right here,” I say still a little sluggish and squeeze his hand in mine.

“I had a nightmare about…you know…and I keep having flashbacks…I’m so sorry Josh this is all my fault,” Tyler says hysterically crying now.

“Tyler no, it’s not your fault. Hey listen to me, this is not your fault, don’t beat yourself up over this. This is not anyone’s fault but the other driver.” Tyler is silent for a few moments, tears streaming down his face.

“He was drunk…” Tyler says his voice barely over a whisper and I think that I only imagined he said something.

“Who was?” I ask

“The other driver…he was drunk way over the legal limit. He swerved over and, and, oh Josh!” Tyler says. He leans over and puts his head in his lap. “I was so scared that I lost you. You mean so much to me. You’re everything good in my life and I love you so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I can’t survive this world without you Josh.”

“I love you so much. I won’t ever leave you, I promise.”

He lifts his head back up and looks into my eyes. I stare back into his beautiful brown eyes. He looks so broken, on the inside and out and I can only imagine how broken on the outside I look too.

“I don’t want to lose you. I love you too much.”

“You won’t lose me. A little car crash won’t separate us, you can’t get rid of me that easily,” I say and smile.

Tyler smiles a little bit and kisses the back of my hand.

In that moment I hear new sobs entering the room. I look behind Tyler and see my parents in the doorway.

“Oh Joshie,” my mom whispers.

Tyler moves over so that my parents can come over to the bed, he never lets go of my hand.

My parents kneel down next to the bed. “We were so worried about you, oh my handsome boy,” my mom says tears streaming down her face.

Tyler puts his free hand on her shoulder and my dad puts a hand on her other shoulder.

The two most important men in my life are comforting the most important woman in my life. I smile a little bit at the sight.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My parents eventually leave the room, after countless tears shed by all. I assured my mom that I’m okay, my voice less sluggish now, but my tongue still feeling too big for my mouth.

It’s just Tyler and I now.

“Come here,” I say to Tyler and pat the bed next to me.

I try and move over a little bit so that there’s room for him to lay with me.

He looks at me cautiously, to ask if it’s okay. I nod.

He climbs in next to me and lays facing me.

He winces when he first lays down and I remember that he has some broken ribs.

Tyler still never lets go of my hand, and I’m grateful, I don’t ever want to let go of him.

I turn my head to face him.

He kisses the tip of my nose and I smile.

He giggles. “I missed that beautiful smile of yours,” he says.

“I love your adorable laugh,” I say and smile at him again, which causes him to laugh again.

And if anyone ever wanted to know what our relationship is like, this is it. Making each other happy. Making the other smile despite the pain or hardships we are going through. Because we can count on each other, and each other is all that we need.

I smile at the thought.

I lean in a little closer to Tyler and press my lips against his. He deepens the kiss, slightly, not wanting to hurt me or himself because of all of our injuries. But it’s okay, it’s still nice, still just as perfect as it always is.

I guess my heart rate was increasing because a nurse comes running in. When she sees us she doesn’t say anything, she just smiles, fixes one of the machines, and walks out the door.

Tyler gives me a huge smile and kisses my nose again.

I smile and kiss his forehead, careful not to touch his stitches.

He curls up into me and lays his head against my neck.

I kiss the top of his head and squeeze his hand.

“I love you so much,” he says muffled by my shirt.

“I love you too,” I say.

Holding hands we both close our eyes and drift off to sleep, together as it should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww things are happy now...but will they stay like this..............
> 
> I really appreciate all the comments and feedback, I love reading them all. It means a lot thank you all for continuously reading this fic


	24. Won't You Stay Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh has to go into surgery again.  
> Will things go smoothly again or will their world come crashing down around them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man I am so sorry for not updating. School is such a killer already geez. I am constantly doing work or studying. I was even at school today on a Saturday for our Open House  
> Sorry here is the next chapter

**Tyler's Point of View**

I shock awake to a constant loud beep and frantic nurses running into the room.

It takes me a second to realize what is going on.

I look over at Josh, peacefully lying beside me, his hand still in mine.

But something doesn’t seem right.

Immediately I recognize the beeping. Or rather not a beeping but a constant noise.

A flat line.

I look over at the monitor and realize, it’s Josh.

_ Josh! _

“JOSH!”

His heart stopped beating.

“JOSH NO! JOSH STAY WITH ME.PLEASE”

The nurses are all around us and have gotten a defibrillator.

“Son, I’m sorry but I need you to get off the bed, NOW!” A nurse cries out at me.

But I don’t listen, I can barely think. All I can think about is Josh. My fears clouding all my senses.

_ Josh wake up, please. Don’t go. _

“You have to move NOW. We have to try and save him, time is running out!”

This time I hear what she’s saying and jump off the bed, still clutching Josh’s hand.

One nurse yanks Josh’s hand out of mine and pulls me to the corner of the room. “Stay here,” she says. “You don’t have to leave, but you have to stay out of the way, you understand?” She asks.

I nod and watch from the corner.

While she was saying that to me, the other nurses had taken off Josh’s shirt and was rubbing the two pads together.

“CLEAR!”

They press the defibrillator pads to Josh’s chest and his body rises on the table.

Still no heartbeat.

They try again, and again. Each time with more electricity and each time Josh’s body rises and flops on the table.

Tears are streaming down my face

_ Come on Josh. Come on _

They press the pads to his chest one more time and the heartbeat machine springs to life.

“We’ve got a pulse,” one nurse says.

I didn’t realize I had been holding my breath and let out a long sigh of relief.

“Go tell the parents, we’re going to need to get him into surgery again.”

My heart drops to my feet.

_ Surgery? Again? _

“What?” I say my voice barely above a whisper.

Josh’s main nurse comes over to me. She puts her hand on my shoulder. “I know this is hard. But he has to go into surgery again. If he doesn’t he  _ will _ die,” she says. I shudder at her words.

My heart sinks even lower and it feels like it’s in my toes.

I sneak past the nurses and give Josh’s hand a quick kiss and squeeze before I’m being pulled out of the ICU.

I am led and practically forced into the same chair I was last time.

The doctor is over with Josh’s parents and my dad went to work.

My mom comes running over to me. She had taken the day off from work to make sure I was okay.

She sits down in the chair next to me and wraps me in a big hug.

I’m shaking and tears are streaming down my face.

“What happened sweetheart?” My mom asks, love and concern pouring from her and allowing me to calm down enough to get a few words out.

“Josh…heart stopped…surgery,” is all I can manage to get out.

“Oh!” My mom says and wraps her arms tighter around me.

She strokes the back of my hair like she used to do when I was a kid and would cry into her arms. “There, there. It’s okay, let it out, momma’s got you,” she says soothingly.

I cry into her arms until I feel like I have no more tears and can’t cry anymore.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Josh is in surgery for 5 hours.

When the surgery is over the doctor comes out. He gathers Josh’s parents, me, and my mom over in a private area of the hallway.

He clears his throat.

All of us hold our breath waiting to hear what happened and if Josh is okay.

“Josh is okay…but there were some complications. His heart stopped two times during surgery,” Josh’s mom lets out a cry and Josh’s dad holds her in his arms.

“Because of this, Josh has to be put on life support…and unfortunately…he only has a 5% chance of waking up. I am so sorry. We did everything we could,” he says, genuinely sorry.

My heart shatters and my knees become weak.

My whole world is spinning and I fall onto the floor. On my knees.

Everything feels fake. Not real. As if I’m in a dream and need to be woken up.

But it is real. It’s all real.

I stay there on the floor. On my knees. Just staring at the floor. Feeling everything and nothing at the same time.

I faintly hear voices above me, but no words. I block them out even more. I don’t want to hear them. I don’t want to hear what anyone has to say. Their words aren’t going to wake Josh up. Their words aren’t going to make his heart beat on its own, or his lungs breathe on their own. Their words will do nothing.

I just stay there, on my knees in the middle of the hallway.

Eventually I move myself over a few feet and lean against the wall. My knees up in front of me and my back against the wall. I sit there for hours. Staring at the wall in front of me and not staring at anything at all.

I don’t know where all the parents went, they all left me alone. And I’m grateful. I just want to be alone right now.

All of a sudden my emotions just hit me like a truck. All flooding into me and I feel the worst pain and grief and sorrow I’ve ever felt. The tears come too, flowing like a river and I don’t ever think they’re going to stop. Then the memories of Josh come flooding back too. A sharp pain in my shattered heart brings back all of our memories.

His bright red hair and honey eyes. The way his eyes crinkle when he laughs and the cute dimples he gets when he smiles. His beautiful tattoo filled with all the meaning in the world, and his adorable nose ring. The way his smile brightens every room he walks in to, and the way his laugh makes my insides turn to jelly but still radiate my heart and bless my ears. When he kisses the top of my head and plays with my hair and makes me feel so comfortable. The way being in his arms make me feel safe and loved. How his kisses make my heart beat a million miles a minute and make me feel like the most loved and special person in the entire world.

I remember it all. It all comes rushing back and hits me like a truck.

I cry even harder and yearn to see Josh. To feel his touch. To have his big strong arms surround me in a hug. To feel his big strong hand in mine and to hear his words, his beautiful voice that sounds like sunshine and everything good in this world.

I slide off the wall and lay flat on the floor. My legs stretched out in front of me and my arms spread out to the sides.

I’ve never felt so low in my life, never felt so broken. It feels like a part of me is missing. Like a part of me was ripped out and leaves me hollow inside.

The tears have stopped flowing, even though I’m still the saddest I’ve ever been.

I lay there on the floor. Staring at the ceiling. My heart shattered and aching and my world shaking and broken.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don’t know how long I lay there for.

But eventually my need to see Josh is too strong.

I climb off the floor and almost fall back down again as all the blood rushes to my head and I see black.

I grab the wall to steady myself, my knees still weak.

I walk carefully back into the waiting area and see my dad in one of the chairs.

I walk over to him, stumbling a little as I walk.

“Tyler, son are you alright?” My dad says jumping up and walking over to me.

He tries to grab my arm but I pull away. Not wanting to feel any touch besides Josh’s.

“I’m okay,” I whisper out, because that’s all my voice will allow me. My throat is dry and raw from crying.

“Here sit down, I’ll go get you a drink,” my dad says. He walks over to the vending machine and gets me a bottle of water and a bag of Doritos.

He hands me the drink. I take it and sip gingerly at the ice cold water and let it cool my throat down.

“Do you want something to eat? You’ve got to be hungry. You haven’t eaten in a day,” my dad says concerned.

_ Wow so I was on the floor longer than I thought _

But I don’t care. Nothing matters anymore. Not when Josh isn’t here to go through life with me.

I shake my head. I’m not hungry.

I feel hollow inside and no amount of food is ever going to make it better.

My dad opens the bag of Doritos and sets them in my lap.

I take another long sip of water and let the cool water fill me.

When I smell the Doritos my stomach grumbles and I take one chip and place it in my mouth.

I have no energy to do anything. No will to do anything more. I let the chip sit in my mouth, savoring the taste, until it becomes soft.

I eat a few more chips and then give the bag back to my dad. Losing the will to eat.

I stare out in front of me, blankly. Absentmindedly watching the leaves move in the trees outside the window.

“Can I see him?” I ask, still staring out the window. My voice is still too soft, still too full of suffering and grief to be its full sound.

“Of course. Mrs. Dun is in there right now so they are allowing visitors. Do you want me to wait out here?” he asks

“Please. I want to do this alone.”

My dad nods and understands.

I shakily get out of my chair and cautiously walk to the door of the ICU.

I walk slowly, trying not to fall over. My knees are still too weak.

I get to the door and a nurse lets me inside. I walk slowly to Josh’s room each step harder to take than the last.

When I get to the door my breath catches and my knees buckle.

I fall on the floor on my knees. I put my face in my hands and cry. The tears streaming out of me again.

I didn’t think I had any tears left, but as soon as I saw Josh they all came flowing again.

He looks so small and broken on the bed. There’s a new machine next to him, a big one.

_ Life support. _

I shudder at the words.

He has tubes all over him and one in his mouth, controlling his breathing.

He looks so broken, it’s hard to look at him.

The boy who is usually so full of life looks so empty of it.

He looks like the hollow shell of Josh, as if there’s nothing left and this is what remains.

I cry and cry and cry into my hands on the floor.

If Mrs. Dun heard me come in she didn’t say anything. Or maybe I just don’t hear her.

The pain is too much. I had a small hope that Josh would be awake when I walked in the room. But that hope left the second my eyes looked into the room.

He looks so pale and so small.

Eventually the tears stop again. I sniffle and lift my head up.

I look at Josh again. My love. The love of my life and my soulmate.

He still looks as beautiful as ever and a small flicker of hope starts in my chest again. A small hope that he will wake up. That he will wrap me in his arms again and smile his beautiful smile. That he will squeeze my hand and his love will flow through his touch.

I carefully stand up, my knees still too weak to effectively hold up my weight. I stumble over to the side of the bed and Mrs. Dun stands up to allow me to sit down.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“I was wondering when you were going to leave the hallway. I know it’s hard. It’s so hard to see him like this, but I have hope. I have hope that he will wake up. He’s a strong boy and even though it’s a small percentage I believe he will wake up. I know it,” she says, tears still running down her face.

“Me too,” I choke out.

I do believe it. The hope in my chest is starting to grow with her words and I believe he will wake up. He has to. Josh Dun is not done on this earth just yet.

“I couldn’t have asked for a better person to be Josh’s boyfriend and best friend, I’m lucky you too have each other,” Mrs. Dun says as she walks out the door.

“Me too,” I whisper.

I turn to Josh.

I carefully reach out to hold his hand.

I hold his hand in mine and feel the familiar warmth that comes from his touch. 

I wrap his big hand around mine and kiss the back of his hand.

I keep expecting to feel his fingers pull in mine or move in some way, but there’s nothing. No movement. No pull of the fingers. They just sit motionless in my hand.

“Oh Josh!” I say and start sobbing again. The tears falling all over his hand in mine.

“I’m so sorry Josh. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. Please Josh, please wake up. I need you. Your parents need you. This world needs you. This world isn’t ready to lose its angel. This world is not yet finished with you. It still needs you and I need you. I love you so much Josh. Please don’t go. Please fight this. You’re the strongest guy I know. You can fight this. You can. I believe in you.”

“It ain’t the speakers that bump hearts, it’s our hearts that make the beat,” I sing in my small broken voice.

“Come on Josh, make that beautiful heart of yours beat you awake. Make that heart of gold of yours beat again. Come back to me Josh, please don’t leave me.”

I sit by his side for hours, talking to him and searching for any movement. The only movement he has is the rise and fall of his chest controlled by the life support.

My eyes start to droop and burn after a while. I realize that I haven’t slept since the other day.

I don’t want to leave Josh’s side.

There’s a small space next to Josh on his bed. Small enough for me to fit perfectly and not interfere with any of the wires or tubes.

I climb into bed with Josh and snuggle up next to him.

The arm that I was holding doesn’t have any wires on it, so I lift his arm and wrap it around me. I snuggle in closer to Josh and fall asleep with his strong arm protecting me.

Laying under Josh’s arm makes me feel safe, and for a moment everything feels like normal. But it’s not back to normal, Josh still hasn’t woken up. He still can’t breathe on his own.

But I’m too tired to throw reason at my mind and fall asleep snuggled against Josh under his strong warm arm.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting down to the wire on this fic. Dun dun dun (lol)  
> What will happen?  
> Will Josh wake up?  
> Is Tyler okay?  
> Find out more tomorrow


	25. Is Close the Closest Star? You Just Feel Twice As Far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler finds out terrible news that will shock him to his very core  
> How will he react and deal with his world turning upside down?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for last chapter. I know they were happy but things got interesting though...man I am an awful person  
> If you hated me for the last chapter you're going to hate me more now. But don't worry there are 2 endings so you'll be pleased at the very end.
> 
> Chapter Warnings:   
> -Blurry   
> -Suicidal Thoughts

**Tyler’s Point of View**

I stay by Josh’s side, searching his face for the slightest movement, grasping onto his hand waiting for the slightest twitch. Days go by and still nothing.

Every day I sit by the side of his bed with him. I talk to him, hoping that the sound of my voice will draw him back. Each night I fall asleep in the bed next to him, snuggled against his beautiful body.

With each day the doctors become more doubtful and I become more anxious, pleading with Josh to wake up.

By Thursday my parents make me go to school. The school called and said that since I was released from the hospital days ago and don’t need to be there since my injuries weren’t as serious, that I should be in school.

So against my own free will I was dragged from the hospital and sent to school.

It didn’t feel right being there without Josh. I should be in the hospital, by his side waiting for him to wake up. Waiting for his perfect honey eyes to open and do their adorable crinkle when he smiles. Holding his giant soft hands and admiring his fluffy red hair.

But instead I’m forced to go to school.

Many people have come up to me and wished Josh well. “I heard Josh is in the hospital, I hope he gets better” and “I’m praying for Josh” become common phrases spoken to me.

And it infuriates me even more than having to be sent to school.

They never spoke to him, never even gave him a second glance before, but now that he could be dying, now all of a sudden they care.

It makes me sick.

Even Monroe is being nice. As he walked past me in the hallway, he made eye contact with me and his eyes held sympathy and concern for Josh. He didn’t say anything, but his look said it all.

People at school might not be giving me a hard time, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not internally struggling. What am I saying, I’m always internally struggling. But right now it’s worse.

My mind is filled with worries about Josh and it is eating me alive. I can feel it gnawing at me and watching me from every corner. Josh is the only thing on my mind and the only thing that matters.

Blurry has been a bit more subdued, never gone of course, still there haunting me with His sad and twisted words.

At school Blurry practically followed me around all day, almost becoming a second shadow.

Occasionally whispering His twisted words from behind me.

I don’t have the energy to make Him leave, so I let Him follow me, drowning out His words in the swirling thoughts of concern I have for Josh.

I can’t bear to go under the bleachers without Josh, it has become our special spot.

I don’t go to lunch with Mr. Stump either, instead I go to the library.

I sit up against the window and look out. Staring out at the city and wondering if Josh will be okay. Wondering if Josh has woken up and is wondering where I am. Wondering if he’ll ever wake up at all.

Whenever those types of thoughts come around, Blurry walks closer to me. Almost close enough to touch but not, knowing that His icy touch freezes my bones.

But He seems sad, more sad than normal, as if Josh’s state is affecting Him as much as it is me.

His bright red eyes still hold His anger and danger, but now they also hold sadness. The same sadness that I see in my own eyes when I look into the bathroom mirror on my way back from the library.

I slump through the day. Each class more of a haze than the last, until it’s finally time to go home.

I go home as quickly as I can and burst through my front door.

I grab my car keys and drive back to the hospital as fast as I can.

I run up to the ICU and resume the spot I have been in for the last three days.

One of Josh’s nurses is in the room with him

“Hello Tyler,” she says smiling at me.

“Hello. Has he woken up yet?” I ask scared for the answer.

“No not yet,” she looks at me sympathetically.

“Do you think he’ll wake up soon?”

_ Or at all _

“I’m not sure, Tyler. The doctor should be in soon to do more tests, but until then all we can do is wait and hope for the best,” she says apologetically.

I begin to talk to Josh again. Telling him about school and pleading with him to wake up. I also start to talk to him about a new adventure we should take together when he wakes up and is recovered.

“I wrote a new song, Josh. For you, it’s called Lovely,” I say and begin to sing it to him.

The entire time I sing he doesn’t move, he lays motionless in his bed surrounded by massive machines and covered in wires and bandages.

“Josh. Remember when we were laying on the grass and you told me that something was a good song lyric? Well I made it into a song and I finished it. The song is about our day together. It’s called Forest.”

I clear my throat.

“I don’t know why I, feed on emotion. The stomach inside my brain. I don’t want to be heard, I wanna be listened to, does it bother anyone else that someone else has your name…”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Josh’s mom and dad haven’t left the hospital since Josh has been here. 

They walked into the room a little while after I finished singing Josh my song. 

“Have you heard anything new?” his mom asks as they walk in. 

“Nothing yet. The doctor is coming in a few minutes to do some more tests,” I respond. 

A few minutes later the doctor walks in. 

“Hi everyone, so I’m going to do a few more tests on Josh to see how he’s doing. I know you’re all anxious to see if he wakes up. These tests should tell us how long that will be. Could you all please go wait out in the waiting room while we run the tests.” 

I stand up slowly, my hand still in Josh’s. I lean down next to him and kiss him on the cheek. I give his hand a little squeeze. “I love you,” I whisper into his ear. 

I walk out into the waiting room with Josh’s parents. 

I sit down in the same seat as before, but I’m too nervous to sit still. 

I frantically shake my leg. 

After a half hour the doctor still hasn’t come out. My nerves become too much and I get up and start pacing in circles around the waiting room.    
I don’t know how long I do that for, but my heart never stops frantically beating the whole time. 

Finally the doctor comes out and my stomach leaps in my chest. 

Josh’s parents and I walk over to where the doctor is in the secluded part of the hallway. 

The doctor looks sad and I can tell something’s wrong.

Josh’s parents can tell too because they started holding hands and I can see both of their knuckles turning white. 

“So we did some tests and unfortunately...it doesn’t look like he is ever going to wake up. There is just not enough brain activity and we don’t think he will make it. I’m so sorry,” the doctor says sympathetically.

Josh’s parents both gasp and Josh’s mom starts violently sobbing into Josh’s dad’s chest. 

I feel tears start streaming down my face too, but I’m too full of shock and disbelief. 

“No but there’s still some brain activity right? He’s still in there,” I say sobbing not wanting to believe a single word. He’s still in there, my love is still there. 

“Yes but it is very minimal. We are going to keep him on life support for a few more hours and if nothing happens unfortunately we are going to have to pull the plug.” 

My heart shatters into a million pieces. I didn’t think there was any more pieces of my heart to be broken. The pieces of the pieces break too. Everything is broken. I feel broken. Hollow. Just a shell. They can’t take him off life support there’s still a chance. They can’t take him away from me. 

“There’s got to be something we can do, anything,” I say frantically.

“I’m sorry son, we’ve done all we can. There’s nothing else we can do.” 

In that moment everything around me gets dull. The lights don’t seem as bright. The voices around me turn into a drone. Everything seems quieter and louder at the same time. Any remaining hope leaves me and I turn and run out of the hospital as fast as I can. 

Tears are streaming down my face as I sprint out of the ICU. I skip the elevator and go straight for the stairs not wanting to stop moving because I can’t stop. 

I don’t stop I just run. I run and run until I get down in the parking lot. 

I hop in my car and drive. Tears streaming down my face. 

I don’t know where I’m going. My hands and feet take control. They know where to go. 

I drive for a long time until I get there. To the waterfall.

The same place Josh asked me out that beautiful day. 

Only it’s not the same now. It never will be. He will never be there with me again. 

We will never be able to come back here together.

Never be able to go on another adventure together. 

**“He’s gone Tyler. He left you. You’re all alone. See I told you he would leave you. I told you you would be alone. I’m all you have and all you’ll ever have. You’re too broken to be loved. Too broken to have someone in your life.”**

I know He’s right. Josh is gone. 

In an hour they will pull the plug. I can’t make myself watch that, 

I can’t survive this world without him. 

I can’t. 

I walk over to the rock Josh and I sat at that day. Where he asked me out. 

I remember the rush and flutter my heart got when he told me he loved me. 

How the sun hit the side of his face and made him look like an actual angel. The sun radiating off of the water droplets all over his body. 

I sit down on the rock and put my feet over the edge. 

I hear someone walking behind me and I turn around. 

It’s just Blurry. 

**“He’s never coming back Tyler. He left you. You’re never going to survive this world now. Not without him.”**

“SHUT UP. I KNOW HE’S GONE. I’M DYING INSIDE. LEAVE ME ALONE.” I say the tears haven’t stopped flowing and I don’t think they ever will. I feel so broken inside. So susceptible to His words and He knows that. I just don’t care enough to fight Him off. Everything is wrong the love of my life is dead. It’s not worth it anymore. I don’t care about anything. 

**“Out of all the places to go, why here? Why not under the bleachers in your spot, why not the treehouse, why did you come here? Hmm Tyler? I think you know the answer.”**

His words take me aback. Why did I come here? Out of all the special places we have together. Why this one? I remember I had no control over my hands and feet on the way here. 

Then Blurry puts His hand on my shoulder and I feel the worst icy pain radiate throughout my already broken body. 

**“I think you know why you came here Tyler. I think we both know. You’re worthless and it’s time.”**

I sniffle and stand up. My eyes are blurry from all the tears and I can barely see. The only thing that penetrates through the tears is the sunlight hitting my face. It’s setting now to signal the end of the day, the end of Josh’s time here. And mine.

I hear the rush of the waterfall and flashbacks of Josh come back stronger now. His beautiful body when he swims and his laugh. His amazing laugh.

**“You’re never going to be able to hear it again. Never. He’s gone and you’re gone.”**

**“You’re a Goner somebody catch your breath,”** Blurry sings with his harsh grating voice. 

**“It’s time Tyler.”**

I let the sound of the waterfall and my memories of Josh fill me 

_ I’m coming to you Josh. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for this.  
> ****At this moment in time Tyler still hasn't done anything yet. He's just standing there****
> 
> Remember I said before that there are 2 endings to this fic. One happy and one sad  
> This is where the story splits into happy and sad  
> There will be an important announcement about that tomorrow


	26. IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT THE 2 ENDINGS PLEASE READ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT PLEASE READ  
> SUPER IMPORTANT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****PLEASE READ BELOW****

Hi everyone, I'm sorry this is not a chapter but this is a very important announcement about the fic 

So as I had said before there are 2 endings

Well this is where the story splits into the two endings

The first ending will be the next chapter and it will consist of a chapter and an epilogue 

 

 **PLEASE READ THIS IF YOU ARE PLANNING ON READING THE FIRST ENDING:  
** You don't have to read the first ending it is sad and completely optional. Like I said there will be an alt ending 

The first ending contains a Major Character Death, so if you do not feel comfortable reading that or would prefer not to, you don't have to and you can just wait and read the alt ending.

However, if you do want to read the first ending just be aware there is a Major Character Death 

I will not be putting that in the tags since there is not one in the second ending and I'm warning you about it now before you start reading the first ending 

 

My favorite ending is the second (alt) one but I also really like how I wrote the first one so you will get both 

Once again the first ending has a Major Character Death 

 

The second (alt) ending will have a chapter and an epilogue as well. 

Both endings will take place IMMEDIATELY after the last few words of Chapter 25 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE FIRST ENDING WILL BE POSTED TODAY  
> THE SECOND ENDING WILL BE POSTED TOMORROW


	27. Time to Say Goodbye to The Earth and Now My Worthless Life (Ending 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh wakes up from the surgery, but will his best friend be there?  
> \----------------------  
> Josh's life after leaving the hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy are you guys ready for this one?  
> I'm not ready and I wrote it. I prolonged writing the epilogue for 2 months because it was so sad and hard for me to write  
> But it's done and here we are ready for me to post  
> I just want to thank you all for reading and supporting this fic it means the world to me
> 
> ****Please remember if you want to you can skip this ending and read the alt ending instead  
> Chapter Warnings:  
> -MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH
> 
> This chapter includes the epilogue

**3rd Person Outsider Point of View**

7:45 PM: 

Tyler runs out of the car so fast. Runs up the path to the waterfall.

He leaves his phone in the car. 

8:30 PM: 

The first call comes in. It’s Josh’s mom. 

8:31 PM: 

The second call comes in. This time it’s Tyler’s mom. 

8:32 PM: 

The third call comes in with the first text. Josh’s mom calls while Tyler’s mom texts. 

“Tyler honey pick up your phone, it’s important.”

8:33 PM:

“Tyler where are you? Pick up your phone we have some news for you.” 

8:34 PM: 

“Tyler Joseph answer your phone. We want to tell it to you.”

8:35 PM: 

“Fine Tyler, just please come to the hospital it’s important.” 

8:36 PM: 

“Tyler please.”

8:37 PM: 

“Fine I’ll just tell you. Tyler honey it’s a miracle, Josh woke up!” 

8:38 PM: 

“That’s what we’ve been trying to tell you. He started moving in his bed reaching out to something and groaning. Then he opened his eyes. Now he’s awake and he wants to see you Tyler. You were his first word when he woke up. Please answer your phone.” 

 

But it’s too late. Tyler Joseph had already walked off the rock and his lifeless body lies at the bottom of the waterfall.

* * *

 

**Josh’s Point of View**

I see Tyler, sitting at our rock, where I asked him out that first time. I reach out to him. Groaning at the pain shooting through my arm. 

My eyes flutter open and I realize I’m having a dream. 

I squint at the harsh lights in my eyes. 

“Tyler?” I croak out. 

All around me I hear machines and sobs. 

Then I remember: I’m in the hospital. 

But something’s not right. Something feels strange. Something’s missing. 

There’s no hand in mine. 

And the sobs I hear around me don’t sound right. 

There’s a voice missing. 

Tyler’s 

I open my eyes and turn my head. 

My parents are both hugging and crying next to the bed and Tyler’s mom is on the phone. 

I can barely make out what she is saying, my hearing is still adjusting. 

“Track his phone and look for him. I’m worried. He’s not answering any of my texts or calls.” 

There’s nurses all around me taking out tubes and replacing wires. 

“Where’s Tyler?” I ask. The words choking out of my throat. My throat is so dry from not being used for the last so many days. 

_ How long  _ has _ it been?  _

“Oh Joshie, sweetheart. We’re not sure yet. We’ve tried calling and texting him but he’s not responding. I’m sure he’ll be here soon.” 

“Where did he go? What happened?” I croak out again. 

“He ran out of here so fast a few hours ago...the doctors said you wouldn’t wake up. It’s a miracle Josh, we’re so happy that you’re okay.” 

“...they were going to...pull the plug on me?” I say dumbfounded. 

“Oh sweetie I’m so sorry. We tried putting it off for as long as we could because we knew you would come back to us,” my mom says through tears. 

“How much longer did I have?” I ask still shocked and my voice still hoarse. 

“...a half hour.” 

_ Oh my gosh a half hour. How could the doctors do that. I was still there I was still alive. They could have killed me. I almost didn’t make it.  _

I close my eyes as a thought comes through. 

_ Tyler. he probably thought I was gone. That I was going to leave him. Oh no. Blurry. He has trouble fighting Him off as is. What if something happened to him? _

My heart starts racing and a machine starts frantically beeping next to me. 

“Josh, it’s okay you’re okay now. You’re alive and that’s all that matters,” my dad says. 

But I can’t listen to him. It’s not me that I’m worried about. It’s Tyler. Who knows what could have happened 

He thought I was dead. 

“Tyler. Oh gosh.” I say and stifle a tear. 

“What’s the matter Josh?” 

“You need to find him, now.” 

“Why what’s going on?” My dad says. My parents look at each other confused. 

Tyler’s mom ends her phone call and walks over to the bed. 

“We tracked his phone. He’s about an hour away. At that waterfall just outside of town.” 

He went to our spot. 

My heart aches as my dream comes back to me. He looked so sad, so broken. The tears streaming down his face. He was just getting up to stand on the rock. 

_ Tyler no. Please. Please tell me you didn’t do it. Please tell me you didn’t leave me. _

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eventually the doctor comes in and makes everyone leave to run some tests. 

“You know son, you’re very lucky to be alive. The surgery left you with very slim chances, I’m glad you were able to fight through it. You’re very strong,” the doctor says once he’s finished with the tests. 

I nod at him.

I’m too busy worrying about Tyler to fully listen to what he’s saying or pay attention. 

“Everything looks great. It looks like you will be able to make a full recovery,” he says smiling and walks out of the room. 

_ Great. But what about Tyler, he has to be okay. I don’t care about a full recovery if he’s not here to enjoy it with me.  _

My parents and Tyler’s mom come into the room a few minutes later. My parents come running over to the bed and Tyler’s mom is looking at her phone and tightly holding it in her hand. 

I guess they haven’t gotten to the waterfall yet to see if Tyler is okay. 

She stares at the phone as if looking at it long enough will make it ring, holding it like it’s her lifeline. 

My parents start talking about when I was a kid and how glad they are that I’m going to be okay. 

It’s so sweet of them, but I’m too worried about Tyler to worry about myself. 

After what seems like years later, Mrs. Joseph’s phone finally rings. 

She gasps, jumps, and goes into the corner of the room. 

“Hello. Chris honey did you find him?” 

My breath catches as I wait to hear if he’s okay. 

Mrs. Joseph is silent for a long time. I can only see half of her face, but she does not look happy. 

_ Maybe they can’t find him? Maybe he’s not there?  _

I silently plead that Tyler is okay and just left on his way back to the hospital. Or that they found him before he did anything drastic. 

But that hope quickly dies as Tyler’s mom gasps, puts her hand on her mouth, and begins to cry. 

My dad gets up and brings a chair over for her to sit in. 

She crashes down into it and begins bawling. 

“My baby. My baby. No.” Is all that is able to come out of her mouth. 

I want to get out of the bed and go over to comfort her and find out what happened. But I’m in too much pain and attached to a lot of wires. My body still feels too heavy. Like as if my bones were made out of weights and my blood turned to steel. 

She starts shaking in her chair and crying. My parents go over to her to console her and try to calm her down enough to find out what happened. 

“Mrs. Joseph, what happened? Is he okay. Please tell me he’s okay,” I say starting to cry.

Her reaction right now shows that he’s not okay but I can’t bring myself to believe it. He has to be okay. He can’t leave me. I love him so much. 

I’m going to be okay, he has to be too. I can’t survive without him, 

“He…” is all she can get out before bursting into more tears. 

After a few more minutes of crying and my parents consoling her, Mrs. Joseph has finally calmed down enough to speak.

“He...he jumped from the top of the waterfall...and died on impact...they’re pulling him out from the water right now.” She says and resumes bawling again. 

My heart completely shatters when she says that. The tears I was holding back come forth at full power and I cry harder than I ever have in my life. 

_ No please, please tell me it’s not true. He can’t be dead. He just can’t.  _

Any remaining hope about him being okay was ripped from my chest and I feel more hollow than I ever knew was humanly possible. 

“Tyler no,” is all I can manage to whisper out between the sobs.

“I’m so sorry Josh. I don’t want to believe it either. My baby boy,” she says tears streaming down her face and voice barely above a whisper. 

It feels like my entire world came crashing down around me. I want to run out of here, but I’m confined down to the bed. And maybe that’s for the best. But I feel so useless just lying here crying. 

Tyler’s gone. 

I can’t believe it. 

I’m never going to be able to see his beautiful smile or hear his adorable laugh. Or cuddle with him on the couch while watching a movie. I’ll never be able to stroke his soft gorgeous hair or kiss his perfect little lips. I’ll never be able to go on another adventure with him or listen to his amazing music. 

* * *

 

The Epilogue

**Josh’s Point of View**

_ The last of the bags are packed in the trunk. As I close the trunk I look over to see Tyler running out of the house with his keyboard.  _

_ “Wait, wait. I almost forgot this,” he screams running from across the street.  _

_ I laugh as I put the keyboard in. “Ready now?”  _

_ “Yes, let’s go.”  _

_ “Call us when you get there and settle into your dorm,” my mom says from the door.  _

_ We get in the car and begin driving to Ohio State, where Tyler and I will be dorming together _

_ “I’m so excited Joshie! We made it through High School, we did it! And now we’re going to be rooming together and starting on the next chapter of our lives together,” Tyler says beaming. He reaches over and puts his hand on my arm.  _

_ I look over at him and smile, his beautiful brown hair more gorgeous and fluffy than ever. _

_ I turn back and look at the road to see a car zooming towards us _

I shock awake, covered in sweat as I try and regain control of my breathing. I get out of bed and get ready for another day of my miserable and pointless life. There’s no point anymore, not after I lost him; the love of my life, my soulmate.

I stare in the mirror, looking at my battered reflection

My eyes are extremely puffy and I still have bandages everywhere

The bags under my eyes seem to be my new accessory these days. My dreams haunted by visions of the crash and the dream I had just before waking up in the hospital

My thoughts always go back to him, always. The guilt and sorrow tearing me apart inside 

If only I had woken up sooner. If only I had done something more to prevent the car from hitting us. 

My mind is constantly flooding with ifs

Each day becomes harder and harder to deal with. And I feel myself getting more and more numb to things. Life seems so pointless without him. Going to school without him is the worst part. 

Facing the halls every day and not seeing his gorgeous smile light them up. Everything seems dimmer these days. 

All the constant “I’m sorrys” from people in the hallway who never even looked twice at him unless to bully him. It makes me sick. 

Nothing feels right anymore. 

Everyday I slump to school and look over at his house wishing and silently hoping I’ll see him running out his front door to greet me with a huge smile and a kiss. But he never does. And my days become just a dismal blur. An endless cycle of school, home, homework, physical therapy, and “sleep” if you can even call it that. 

It’s been 3 weeks since Tyler’s death, my injuries have been healing and the doctor was right I’ll be able to make a full recovery. 

But that doesn’t even matter, not when I can’t enjoy it with him. 

I slump down the stairs, ready to take on another pointless day. 

“Josh, don’t forget we have the funeral today after school,” my mom says from the kitchen.

How could I forget, I’ve been writing his eulogy every night for the past week, the words never fitting right or never being enough. 

His parents waited until I was out of the hospital and also for his family to be able to come down before having the funeral. 

I look over at his house and sigh as I walk to school. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I walk into my room and collapse on the bed. 

School was the same miserable place it always is now without Tyler there

I sob into the pillow 

_ Get it together, come on. Be strong for him. You have to go. You have to go say goodbye.  _

But that’s the whole reason I’m sad about going. 

The funeral makes it official, it means he’s officially gone. I have to say goodbye forever. 

I push myself off the bed and look over at the black suit hanging on the wall

I sigh and struggle to get myself into it, wincing at the pain shooting through my arms and legs

After finally getting into the suit, I look over at my desk and grab the envelope with the eulogy and put it in my pocket.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As we pull up to the cemetery I can’t stop the tears from flowing down my face again

It’s too much I don’t want to say goodbye. I want him here with me. I want to hear his laugh and ruffle his hair and know that everything will be alright. 

But I can’t and I never will again

I get out of the car once the tears have stopped. My mom rubs circles in my back “it’s okay Josh, it’s okay to cry.”

We walk over to where they’re burying the body and my stomach drops when I see the coffin

It’s too much, but I have to say goodbye. I have to do this for him, as hard as it may be. 

I walk over to Tyler’s parents and give his mom a big hug

We don’t say anything but we both know. And sometimes the best way to express mutual grief is just by saying nothing at all

“He loved you very much,” his dad said, patting my back

“I love him too, and I always will.” 

The ceremony begins and it’s extremely emotional. 

I can’t take my eyes off the coffin. I can’t stop myself, my best friend is in there.

I let him down. I couldn’t stop him from ending up in there.

Finally it’s my turn to make a speech. 

I walk over to the coffin and take out the envelope, as I look at the words I’ve been trying so hard to perfect, I put them away. What needs to be said should come from the heart

I clear my throat and look over at the coffin again, my eyes instantly tearing up as I say the first word.

“Tyler. There’s so much I could say about him and I’ve been struggling all week to get the words right. He was my best friend. The love of my life. You’ll never find a better friend than him. Everyday he’d run out of his house to greet me and walk with me to school. Always brightening my day up with his beautiful smile. Gosh, that smile could always light up a room. It always brightened my heart and my mind. I still keep expecting to see him running out of his house or be sitting in our special spot at school. The moments that we got to spend together were some of the best moments of my life. But nothing will ever surpass the day we first kissed or the day he said yes to dating me. The pure joy we both felt that day was insurmountable. You could see the happiness radiating out of him, brightening his gorgeous brown eyes. Those are my best memories of Tyler: the way he was when he was happy talking about something he loved or singing one of the songs he wrote. But I also love his amazing mind. You could never have a deeper conversation with someone than with Tyler. He always made you think, made you know that you’re not alone, but always still finding the importance in the dark things. His mind was just as beautiful as him, and I’m grateful that I was able to know what lies behind his skull. It’s so hard to say goodbye to such a wonderful person, I think that’s the hardest part about being here today, knowing that this is goodbye. But I know that his memory will live on: with me and with all of you. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. Tyler, if you’re there and are hearing all this, I want you to know that I’m sorry and I love you. I will never stop loving you. I wish you didn’t have to be gone, but I know you’re probably eating a taco and making music up there.” I look up at the sky and feel the sun hitting my face. I want to believe that that was him smiling down at me. His smile being so bright and powerful that it surpasses the sun. 

I walk over to my parents and wipe away the stray tears that started flowing down my face. 

“That was beautiful sweetheart,” my mom says hugging me. 

_ Goodbye Tyler, I will love you forever _

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tyler’s mom invited me over to the house after the funeral to go look through Tyler’s things. 

She said I can take anything of his that I want. 

As I walk up to the front door I begin to cry again. I haven’t been here since his death. 

I walk inside and notice how dark everything looks. It looks the same as the first day I ran in here.

I carefully walk up to his room and stare at the door. Too nervous to go inside 

After a few minutes I decide to go in. 

The room looks exactly the same as the last time I was here. 

I walk around the room, observing everything and taking in his scent. The room still smells exactly like him.

I see his black hoodie lying on the bed and I pick it up. The jacket still heavily full of his scent. I lay it on my shoulder and continue to walk around the room.

On the desk his black notebook lays open. I look down at the page and my breath catches

_ Lovely. This song is to Josh, who inspires me to be a great person every single day and whose inspiration it was to write this song as well as the previous one.  _

“He wrote a song for me?” I whisper. The lyrics make me cry. “ _ Won’t you Stay Alive, I’ll take you on a ride, I will make you believe you are lovely.”  _

_ I did Stay Alive Tyler, I stayed alive for you and I will continue to do so, and I hope I made you see that you are lovely too.  _

I look at the previous song. Forest. Reading the lyrics I quickly realize that it’s about our amazing day in the Forest, our adventure there. 

I close the book and hold it tightly against my chest, savoring his words and never wanting to let them go. 

I wish more than anything that I can hear him singing them to me again. Hear his perfect voice sing his lyrics. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I see his keyboard tucked between the desk and the wall. 

I pull it out and sit down on the bed, placing the keyboard on my lap. I put his notebook next to me on the bed as I stare at the keyboard. 

A specific button catches my eye: “Record”

My heart jumps  _ is it possible to record songs on here _

My heart beats frantically as I look through all the options on the keyboard.

Finally I hit a button and a whole list of songs pop up 

_ He did record them! _

I scroll through the list and choose one. 

Tyler’s laughter blasts through the speakers and my heart swells. He begins to sing and another voice comes on too, mine.

The recording was from us in the Forest. When we were sitting on the grass singing his songs. He recorded it. He recorded everything. 

I click the next song on the list

_ “I wrote a new song, Josh. For you, it’s called Lovely,”  _

I begin to cry harder than I have in days. He played the song for me in the hospital. He wrote it for me and sang it to me to try and help me wake up. 

I take the keyboard, his jacket, and notebook and walk across the street to my house. 

I sit down in my backyard and listen to him sing his songs over and over and over. Letting his gorgeous voice fill up the air around me. I close my eyes and lay down in the grass, feeling the sun beam down on me. 

I know Tyler is here, watching me. Sending me his love. I send my love to him too. 

I won’t have to say goodbye, he’ll always be here. I’ll always have our memories and the songs he wrote for me. I’ll always be able to hear his voice and remember it. His laugh is forever memorialized in recording. 

I’m going to live the life he wanted me to live. And he’ll be there with me every step of the way. 

Him showing me those songs were recorded was his sign to show me he’ll always be there for me and that he loves me. 

_ I love you too Tyler _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I teared up reading that again while I was editing it just now  
> Gosh this was so hard for me to write. My poor little Joshie and Tyjo.  
> I'm sorry for this ending  
> But do not fear there is a happy alt ending coming to you tomorrow
> 
> And please remember Suicide is never the answer. As awful as things seem at the time they WILL get better I promise you. I know that's such a cliche thing to say but it's the truth. If you ever are contemplating suicide please talk to an adult you trust or a friend or even call the National Suicide Hotline. Help is always available and things will get better. Stay Safe and Stay Alive because you are all amazing human beings and have a lot to offer to this world and have lots of happiness to experience  
> 


	28. He's The Tear in My Heart, I'm Alive (Alternate Ending)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Ending  
> Josh wakes up, will Tyler be there?  
> \----------------  
> Josh and Tyler live life together and go on the ultimate adventure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, so I apologize to those of you who did read the first ending, yikes that was an emotional roadshow (lol puns)  
> This is the final chapter and update. I can't believe the story is over. I remember starting this so long ago in March, things have changed so much since then.  
> This chapter is the alternate ending. It takes place immediately after Chapter 25, but just incase you don't remember what happened I will be putting the last few paragraphs in here.  
> I hope you all enjoy and I hope it makes up for the really sad first ending

Previously on Chapter 25... 

After a half hour the doctor still hasn’t come out. My nerves become too much and I get up and start pacing in circles around the waiting room.  
I don’t know how long I do that for, but my heart never stops frantically beating the whole time.

Finally the doctor comes out and my stomach leaps in my chest.

Josh’s parents and I walk over to where the doctor is in the secluded part of the hallway.

The doctor looks sad and I can tell something’s wrong.

Josh’s parents can tell too because they started holding hands and I can see both of their knuckles turning white.

“So we did some tests and unfortunately...it doesn’t look like he is ever going to wake up. There is just not enough brain activity and we don’t think he will make it. I’m so sorry,” the doctor says sympathetically.

Josh’s parents both gasp and Josh’s mom starts violently sobbing into Josh’s dad’s chest.

I feel tears start streaming down my face too, but I’m too full of shock and disbelief.

“No but there’s still some brain activity right? He’s still in there,” I say sobbing not wanting to believe a single word. He’s still in there, my love is still there.

“Yes but it is very minimal. We are going to keep him on life support for a few more hours and if nothing happens unfortunately we are going to have to pull the plug.”

My heart shatters into a million pieces. I didn’t think there was any more pieces of my heart to be broken. The pieces of the pieces break too. Everything is broken. I feel broken. Hollow. Just a shell. They can’t take him off life support there’s still a chance. They can’t take him away from me.

“There’s got to be something we can do, anything,” I say frantically.

“I’m sorry son, we’ve done all we can. There’s nothing else we can do.”

In that moment everything around me gets dull. The lights don’t seem as bright. The voices around me turn into a drone. Everything seems quieter and louder at the same time. Any remaining hope leaves me and I turn and run out of the hospital as fast as I can.

Tears are streaming down my face as I sprint out of the ICU. I skip the elevator and go straight for the stairs not wanting to stop moving because I can’t stop.

I don’t stop I just run. I run and run until I get down in the parking lot.

I hop in my car and drive. Tears streaming down my face.

I don’t know where I’m going. My hands and feet take control. They know where to go.

I drive for a long time until I get there. To the waterfall.

The same place Josh asked me out that beautiful day.

Only it’s not the same now. It never will be. He will never be there with me again.

We will never be able to come back here together.

Never be able to go on another adventure together.

**“He’s gone Tyler. He left you. You’re all alone. See I told you he would leave you. I told you you would be alone. I’m all you have and all you’ll ever have. You’re too broken to be loved. Too broken to have someone in your life.”**

I know He’s right. Josh is gone.

In an hour they will pull the plug. I can’t make myself watch that,

I can’t survive this world without him.

I can’t.

I walk over to the rock Josh and I sat at that day. Where he asked me out.

I remember the rush and flutter my heart got when he told me he loved me.

How the sun hit the side of his face and made him look like an actual angel. The sun radiating off of the water droplets all over his body.

I sit down on the rock and put my feet over the edge.

I hear someone walking behind me and I turn around.

It’s just Blurry.

**“He’s never coming back Tyler. He left you. You’re never going to survive this world now. Not without him.”**

“SHUT UP. I KNOW HE’S GONE. I’M DYING INSIDE. LEAVE ME ALONE.” I say the tears haven’t stopped flowing and I don’t think they ever will. I feel so broken inside. So susceptible to His words and He knows that. I just don’t care enough to fight Him off. Everything is wrong the love of my life is dead. It’s not worth it anymore. I don’t care about anything.

**“Out of all the places to go, why here? Why not under the bleachers in your spot, why not the treehouse, why did you come here? Hmm Tyler? I think you know the answer.”**

His words take me aback. Why did I come here? Out of all the special places we have together. Why this one? I remember I had no control over my hands and feet on the way here.

Then Blurry puts His hand on my shoulder and I feel the worst icy pain radiate throughout my already broken body.

**“I think you know why you came here Tyler. I think we both know. You’re worthless and it’s time.”**

I sniffle and stand up. My eyes are blurry from all the tears and I can barely see. The only thing that penetrates through the tears is the sunlight hitting my face. It’s setting now to signal the end of the day, the end of Josh’s time here. And mine.

I hear the rush of the waterfall and flashbacks of Josh come back stronger now. His beautiful body when he swims and his laugh. His amazing laugh.

**“You’re never going to be able to hear it again. Never. He’s gone and you’re gone.”**

**“You’re a Goner somebody catch your breath,”** Blurry sings with his harsh grating voice.

**“It’s time Tyler.”**

I let the sound of the waterfall and my memories of Josh fill me

_I’m coming to you Josh._

 

Alternate Ending

 

“Tyler, wait no!” someone screams at me breathless

I turn to the source of the sound. It’s my dad.

“Dad?” I say tears streaming down my face

He comes running to me and grabs me in his arms.

“Oh Tyler!” he says engulfing me in a huge hug. “I almost didn’t make it. Oh Tyler. I got you it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. They killed Josh. They killed him dad. I’m all alone. What will I do without him?” I say my voice muffled by my dad’s shirt that’s getting more and more wet from my tears.

“I guess you didn’t get your mother’s texts. Tyler, he’s alive. Josh woke up.”

“What?” I say pulling out of the hug to see my dad’s face. “H-he’s alive?”

“Yes, he woke up, with a half hour to spare. According to your mom the doctors say he will make a full recovery,” my dad says putting his hands on my shoulders.

I don’t know what to say. My knees start shaking.

_I almost left Josh. I almost left him alone. I should have waited. Oh Josh._

My dad pulls me in for another hug

“I want to go see him,” I say

“Of course of course. He’s been calling your name since he woke up,” my dad says leading me back to our cars.

“We can come back for your car later Tyler.”

“Okay,” I say as I get into the passenger seat. I wouldn’t have been able to drive anyway the shock of all of this is too much and is clouding all my senses

Only two words keep echoing around my head “Josh” and “Alive” I can’t believe it. The doctors had been so sure. But he’s alive! He didn’t leave me! He kept his promise! Oh Josh

My dad drives back to the hospital and an hour later we pull into the parking lot.

I run full speed inside taking the stairs two at a time, not wasting any time. I need to see him. I need to see Josh.

I burst into his hospital room “Josh,” is all I can manage in a whisper

“Tyler! Tyler, you’re okay!” I hear from four sets of voices, but the only one that stands out to me is coming from the boy with the bright red hair, the love of my life.

I run to his bedside and he sits up and pats the spot next to him.

I sit next to him and he kisses me. The kiss seems to last forever, but neither of us mind. It’s full of love. We don’t even care about our parents looking on.

He’s alive. I’m alive. We’re both alive together.

Finally the kiss ends and he pulls back.

Tears start streaming down my face. “I’m so sorry Josh.”

He seems to know exactly what I’m talking about. He wraps his non casted arm around me and pulls me close. “It’s okay, we’re both here now and that’s all that matters.”

“I love you Josh,” I say and put my head on his shoulder, gently so that I don’t hurt him

“I love you too Tyler.”

* * *

2 Months Later

**Tyler's Point of View**

I run out of the house with my keyboard as I see Josh closing the trunk

“Wait, wait. I almost forgot this,” I scream running from across the street.

He laughs his warm laugh that makes his eyes crinkle and his nose scrunch up.

He takes the keyboard and places it in the car, “Ready now?”

“Yes let’s go,” I say jumping into the passenger seat.

I look over as Josh gets into the driver’s seat. It’s hard to believe that two months ago he was broken and bruised in a hospital bed.

With constant care and attention and help, Josh was able to make a full recovery and I was there with him every step of the way.

We don’t talk much about that day. The day of the crash. But Josh still gets nightmares from it. And every time he does I rub his back and kiss the top of the head the way he likes until he calms down.

We talked about the day he woke up a few times. I apologized over and over for almost leaving him when he needed me most, and like the sweetheart Josh is, he apologized for not waking up sooner. Which we both know he really didn’t have any control over.

Things have been going really well though. We graduated from school and were both accepted to Ohio State where we will be rooming together.

Josh and I had gone on one more adventure since he’s recovered.

But now it’s time for the biggest adventure of all, college.

“Call us when you get there and settle into your dorm,” Josh’s mom says from the door.

We take off towards Ohio State, blasting the radio and singing every song that we know.

“I’m so excited Joshie! We made it through High School, We Did It! And now we’re going to be starting on the next chapter of our lives together,” I say reaching over and putting my hand on his arm.

Josh looks over and smiles at me. The sun catches his features perfectly and he looks like a model, my model.

I smile as I think about how lucky I am to have someone as wonderful as Josh in my life. Even though we haven’t known each other forever, it feels like we have.

He’s my soulmate. I know it in my heart. I know we are going to be together forever.

* * *

The Epilogue 

5 Years Later

**Josh’s Point of View**

I straighten up my bowtie and fix my hair for the fourth time today. I’ve never been so nervous in my entire life.

“It’s okay Josh, you look perfect,” Debby says from the little couch behind me. “Come on, it’s time to go.”

The day is beautiful. Not a cloud in the sky. The flowers all in bloom around us and the birds chirping.

I walk down the aisle and take my place in front of the altar. My palms are sweating like crazy and I have to wipe them off every couple of seconds.

Finally I see him, walking down the aisle and I fall in love all over again. I know that sounds cliche, but everytime I look at him I fall in love.

Tyler comes walking down the aisle, looking as handsome as ever, with a giant smile on his face.

Finally after what seems like forever with me standing alone in front of everyone, Tyler joins me in front of the altar

I slip my hand in his and lean down “you look amazing,” I whisper.

His cheeks turn bright red, “So do you,” he says and gives my hand a squeeze.

We face forward and listen to the wedding speech. You know, the really long winded speech that you listen to for the first few minutes but then you’re just waiting and waiting for when you have to say something.

Then it’s time for the vows.

“I believe you both have prepared your own vows,” the pastor says.

I nod and Tyler and I turn to face each other, staring into each other’s eyes.

“Tyler. Gosh, there’s so much I want to say but as I sat down to come up with it I always had trouble getting the words just right so I’m just going to speak from the heart. From the first day that I laid eyes on you, you intrigued me. You pulled me in with those gorgeous brown eyes. There was a mystery behind them and I was determined to figure it out. I felt like I needed to know everything about you. And as you know sometimes my curiosity gets the best of me,” I hear chuckles from the audience. “And as we began talking and becoming friends I knew that I wanted to be around you as much as I could. The day you said yes to dating me was the happiest day ever, besides you agreeing to marry me of course. From late night deep conversations to early morning debates there was never a dull moment between us. And I will never be able to tell you how much I appreciate you being there for me when I needed you most during my recovery. You’ve always been there for me when I needed you with a charming smile and your wonderful words. Your songs are a blessing onto the earth and I know you’re going to do great things with them. And I’m glad that I will be able to be by your side the entire time. Tyler, I love every single part of you. I love your soul, I love the way your voice sounds when you first wake up in the morning and the way you pull down on your sleeves and blush when you’re nervous or happy, like you are right now,” I say and chuckle. He does too. “I love you and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

I take the ring off the pillow and slip it onto Tyler’s finger.

“Josh, that was so beautiful I don’t think I’ll ever be able to top that but I’ll try. From the first day I saw you in the office with your bright red hair and piercings I’m not going to lie I was kind of afraid of you but also interested in you all the same. The way you smiled at me made my heart beat wildly and my stomach flutter. You stuck up for me when no one else would. When I had given up hope, you were there for me through it all. You listened to me with open, caring ears and never judged a single thing I told you. I was and still am always grateful for that and for you always being there for me. As we began to be closer friends and shared deeper secrets I knew there was no one I would rather be with. I felt like we had known each other our entire lives, and not just that short time. When you asked me out that day, I was so incredibly nervous, but I knew that I wanted to be with you. I wanted to spend every second near you. There’s never a dull moment when I’m with you, and I want to thank you forever for helping me out during those rough high school years and for always sticking by me and dealing with my annoying habits in college. I know I wasn’t easy to dorm with sometimes because I left my school books everywhere, but thank you for loving me all the same. Josh I love you so incredibly much, I don’t think I could ever describe it. I love every single thing about you. I love the way your eyes crinkle on the sides when you smile and how you always seem to be radiating sunshine. The way you look at the world. I’ve never met anyone who’s ever looked at the world quite the same way you do. You have such a genuine kindness in you and you always see the good in everything, which I will always admire. When I’m with you I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Tyler takes the other ring off the pillow and slips it onto my hand.

We join hands again and my eyes never leave Tyler’s eyes. We stare into each other’s souls, the souls that will be each other’s forever.

“By the power invested in me by the state of Ohio, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss the groom.”

Everyone in the audience cheers as I cup Tyler’s face and give him the biggest kiss ever. Neither of us wanting to end the kiss.

But we remember that our families and friends are watching us and so we reluctantly stop

We hold hands once again and raise them in the air as we walk down the aisle.

I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life and I get to spend the rest of my life with the man of my dreams and the love of my life.

I look over at Tyler and he looks over at me. I see the same joy and pure happiness I feel in myself in him.

“I love you Tyler Joseph.”

“I love you Joshua Dun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is it.  
> Thank you everyone for reading and supporting this fic, it means the world to me.  
> Thank you to everyone who read this fic and helped me edit it while I was writing, giving constant feedback, I really appreciate it  
> I hope you all enjoyed it, I really loved writing this and I can't believe it's over already
> 
> I am almost finished with a new fic (I have maybe a chapter left), so if you want you can subscribe to my account on here for email updates on when that is posted. (Also the new fic is called "This Just Ain't Livin" it's not about the Cancer Cover but I was really inspired by that song to write this next fic)  
> Thank you  
> Stay Street and Stay Alive my frens

**Author's Note:**

> So I already finished writing all the chapters and since they're all done I am going to post one chapter every other day, so that you all don't have to wait that long for the next update. If the chapter is super short I might post another chapter the next day, but I'll let you know when I will be doing that.  
> Please leave any comments or feedback!  
> I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter and I promise the rest of the fic will get better than this, it was just setting the scene for everything.  
> Since this first chapter barely had any plot in it I will be posting the second chapter today.


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